Never thought it would be this shit

[Mississippilessly]

I'm currently standing on my own driveway. DH is inside watching The Chase. I am rocking our very over tired baby who has gone to sleep after a walk but keeps coming to - I know if I go inside where there is warmth and light he will really wake up.im standing here so I can use my wifi.
His night sleep is broken to say the least. 3 wake ups is great. We often wake every hr. He is 15 weeks old. I am so so tired. I am so tired of trying to figure it out. So tired of research. So tired of spending my life trying to get him to sleep. So tired of making so many decisions every day - do I try to keep him awake longer/ do I try crib or sling/do I try to carry on doing things or just give in and live for his naps.
I never imagined it would be this hard or this absurd.

Don't go to MILs. Just claim the baby is puking or something. That is the best thing about small babies - a get out of shit social events free card.

not quite crikey that's impressive.
I don't think we can. MIL is so excited.

I had a 'faulty' baby too...she was a stroppy little madam for the first 4 months or so and I was at breaking point and constantly wondering wtf I'd done.

But it got better, she was a straightforward toddler, a great kid and is now is a pretty cracking teenager.

Think of these tough days as money in the bank for later with a bit of luck!

No advice OP, just ((hugs)). It was all 20 years ago for me now and I can still remember how hard it was at this stage, sitting feeding him at 4am with tears of exhaustion running down my face.

It WILL get easier. Hang in there.

Thanks all. MIL will have a house full tomorrow- including 8 teenagers. So nervous about his sleep

"We have had arrangements every day since DH finished (19th) - it's exhausted me and quite honestly I haven't enjoyed any of it. I had 32 people to buy for. Wr have NYE at MIL's tomorrow and I'm dreading it."

This is WAY too much for most people, let alone the exhausted mother of a baby that doesn't sleep well!

If there's one thing we learned pretty fast after becoming parents, it was reducing our expectations of ourselves. We had to factor in down time and decline some invitations. We didn't do as much for Christmas (fewer gifts, less time and effort spend on the gifts we did get). People should understand and if they don't they're not worth wasting your precious energy on.

As previous posters have said it does get better. Mine is nearly 3, still challenging, fussy eater and has never slept through the night. But now she's say " I wuv you mom mom" and gives the loveliest snotty kisses.

Hang in there. This too shall pass.

Not impressive, completely stupid! It was my attempt to keep some control when everything else had gone haywire.

If you have to go, it will either be brilliant (baby will be cute, and will sleep, and everyone will think you're making a fuss over nothing), or he'll scream the place down and you can get someone else to walk him round.

Either way, in 15 years time you'll laugh looking back at this. My screamy "baby" eventually got up at noon today.

Just stumbled across this thread OP and I feel for you. Mine are 6 and 4 now but this brings back awful memories. Your comment about hospitalising yourself - I seriously considered throwing myself down the stairs quite a few times. Only halfway though - I didn't want to die! I also considered chucking the baby down a couple of times but that's a different matter.

It does pass but it seems to take bloody ages. Best of luck!!!!