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Original poster

Childcare dilemma

131 replies

badreams · 27/12/2018 20:46

I'm hoping to return to work from mat leave in April. DS will be 9 months. I am hoping to do two days a week. DM would like to have DS one of those days and I'm looking into options for the second day.

Can't find any childminders who have availability and have been looking into nurseries too. My issues are that I don't drive and not sure how to get my DS to either child minder or nursery and then get myself to work and same for picking him up after. I've been looking at costs of taxis and searching bus routes but neither would work very well.

I wondered about a nanny but after looking into it I can't afford it.

I really want to be able to return to work but I'm not really sure what to do

OP posts:
IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 27/12/2018 20:50

I think you need to learn to drive. You have very limited options otherwise.

TulipsInbloom1 · 27/12/2018 20:53

Does your mum drive? If so could she do two morning with dc and then drop them at nursery for you to collect (or alternatively, two afternoons and collect and bring home)?

Is dc dad around? Or his folks? Its all well and good saying "learn to drive" but OP may not have the money or time to learn within the three months she has.

Original poster
badreams · 27/12/2018 20:53

@Iwannaseehowitends thing is, I do have a driver's licence but have never felt comfortable driving. I was a very poor driver and had severe Anxiety about driving. Would be worrying for hours before I got in the driver's seat. For my own peace of mind I sold my car and stopped driving 3 years ago.

My other issue is, even if I did start driving again, I would then need to buy a car, insure, tax and put fuel in it. The cost of all that, combined with any childcare costs would make returning to work pretty pointless anyway

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Childcare & nursery Families
nicelyneurotic · 27/12/2018 20:54

Will your partner help with drop offs and pick ups? Keep looking and ask people you know if they know anyone who can help. That's how I found my childminder.

pastabest · 27/12/2018 20:55

Does your son's father have any involvement?

Seems unfair this is all on you to sort.

mortifiedmama · 27/12/2018 20:56

Is there a nursery on your bus route or close to work?

OrdinarySnowflake · 27/12/2018 20:56

How did you get to work before? Look for childminder or nursery on your route to work.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 27/12/2018 20:57

Can your oh do drop off and pick up? Or find a nursery near to where you work? How do you usually get to work?

Original poster
badreams · 27/12/2018 20:58

@TulipsInbloom1 yep, DS dad around but he works mon-fri. He could probably pick DS up from nursery on his way home from work, just need to try and sort getting DS to nursery and then getting myself to work. My mum does drive but she can only do one full day and not two mornings

OP posts:
mortifiedmama · 27/12/2018 20:58

You may also struggle to find child care that only does one day a week, round here it's two minimum.

randomsabreuse · 27/12/2018 20:58

Settings won't necessarily want 1 day/week as babies don't settle as well!

wowbutter · 27/12/2018 20:59

I would suggest your partners drops the child and collects him then. The child goes around your partners working hours, and if he starts really early, he all,Ines for flexible working.

Also, mane deal with your anxiety, as you have an under one year old your gp can fast track you.

CharlieandLolaCat · 27/12/2018 20:59

How far is it? Can you cycle? I still cycle with my son to school and have done since he started nursery at 11 months.

mortifiedmama · 27/12/2018 20:59

Surely for one day a week he could do drop off and pick up then? You'll be doing care 3 days!

Original poster
badreams · 27/12/2018 21:00

Hi thanks for replies. DS dad can pick him up after work from nursery so I just need go arrange getting DS to nursery and getting myself to work.

I used to get a lift in from a colleague who drove past my house to work but we are moving soon and will be further out the way from most local colleagues. And even if not, would be major CF to ask colleague to pick me up and also take DS to nursery too.

Have looked at bus routes and none near the nursery or my work and no nurseries near my work

OP posts:
BirdieInTheHand · 27/12/2018 21:01

Would getting a taxi to from childcare be cost effective? I know it seems expensive but I gave up my car (although we do have a family car) a while back and spend far less relying on taxis.

OrdinarySnowflake · 27/12/2018 21:01

Unfortunately, unless you are going to say exactly where you live and work, and how you travel to work before having ds (and also how your DH travels to work), no one can really advise.

You need to research all childcare and travel options, look at nurseries near both yours and DHs work, normally if you go to work on public transport, you just take the dc in a buggy (most will let you store a buggy at the nursery/childminders).

TulipsInbloom1 · 27/12/2018 21:02

If it is only one day then surely ds dad can do drop and pick up on that one day.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 27/12/2018 21:02

Ordinarily I wouldn't say learn to drive because I agree it is expensive and time-consuming. But if you need to get to wherever the child care is and then on to work, it really is the best option unless you live in a city with excellent public transport.
Could you get some professional help to overcome the anxiety wrt driving?
I know that doesn't help you wrt car costs but if you have a parent or partner who drives, maybe they could put you on their insurance for a bit until you are in a position to get your own car.

You might find a cm who will pick up from home, but it would cost you.

Original poster
badreams · 27/12/2018 21:03

Oh...hadn't realised about nurseries not liking 1 day a week? I can't really afford the childcare for two days...which is why my mum is kindly having DS for one day Blush

OP posts:
OrdinarySnowflake · 27/12/2018 21:03

Sorry cross posted ! Why are you moving somewhere you can't get yourself to and from work without a lift when you don't drive?

Why is this move happening?

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 27/12/2018 21:03

Also, keep checking with local cms for spaces. A space can become available at any time.

pastabest · 27/12/2018 21:04

He may well work mon-fri but on the days you are also at work why is it solely your responsibility to sort this out? You are both at work, so it's both your responsibility surely?

TulipsInbloom1 · 27/12/2018 21:04

Presumably ds dad will also be covering half of the childcare costs?

nicelyneurotic · 27/12/2018 21:05

Would you work 3 days a week? I think you need to think long term. Getting over your anxiety to drive will make life so much easier with a child, not just for childcare, especially if you live somewhere remote.

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