Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Childcare dilemma

131 replies

badreams · 27/12/2018 20:46

I'm hoping to return to work from mat leave in April. DS will be 9 months. I am hoping to do two days a week. DM would like to have DS one of those days and I'm looking into options for the second day.

Can't find any childminders who have availability and have been looking into nurseries too. My issues are that I don't drive and not sure how to get my DS to either child minder or nursery and then get myself to work and same for picking him up after. I've been looking at costs of taxis and searching bus routes but neither would work very well.

I wondered about a nanny but after looking into it I can't afford it.

I really want to be able to return to work but I'm not really sure what to do

OP posts:
MissyCooper · 28/12/2018 19:48

I did sympathise OP but you’re coming across as one of those posters who asks for a solution and then comes up with a reason why every single solution just will not work 🤷🏻‍♀️

1.8 miles is nothing. If you’re a bit overweight then all the better.

Topofthehills · 28/12/2018 19:48

You don't need to be particularly fit to walk less than 2 miles. Give it a go - take it slow, let yourself have a little rest part way. Soon you'll do it easily. I live somewhere very hilly and honestly I'm not very fit - but I walk to work because I need to.

Depending on the problems with your knees and feet, would really good supportive shoes/trainers make a difference? There are lots of knee issues where exercise feels tricky at first, but helps in the end. I don't know if that applies to you, though.

NerrSnerr · 28/12/2018 19:49

I pressed post too early, also I can imaging it will get old quickly, then picking you up, hanging around nursery while they drop you off. Will work be paying them for their time?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Childcare & nursery Families
emzw12 · 28/12/2018 19:52

Everyone on here has given loads of suggestions, but seems like none of them are an option.
You have to make sacrifices when you have children:
Taxi
Walking (best option you'll probably also find your health conditions improve if you get fitter / lose a bit of weight).
DH to do drop offs
Move house - to somewhere where you can get to work
Move jobs
Start driving again

Not sure what else anyone can suggest really.... sounds like you've got lots of options unlike many people.
1.8miles walk a day would be excellent exercise. Your DH could pick you and child up in the evening until you felt fit enough to walk there and back.

Zwischenwasser · 28/12/2018 19:55

Electric bike.

Still get you fit, but no pressure on the knees. Will zoom up hills.

Original poster
badreams · 28/12/2018 20:02

New house has a driveway so that will eliminate that element of anxiety if i start driving again. Guess my only options are start driving or walk. I will look into buying a car and getting some refresher lessons.

OP posts:
Mydogisforlife · 28/12/2018 20:06

You have a few months to prepare yourself. Go out for a walk every day, and increase the distance gradually.
Make sure you have decent outdoor clothes and good shoes.
It will be really good for you and your child.

If I weren't willing to drive, I certainly couldn't be bothered with all the other complicated possibilities for the sake of 1.8miles one day a week!

Hohocabbage · 28/12/2018 20:08

I don’t think it’s viable to pay for the car upkeep for a once a week journey, just get a taxi and maybe sometimes walk when you feel up to it.

Nicknacky · 28/12/2018 20:09

You said earlier in the thread that the cost of driving outweighed your salary.

For less than 2 miles, I would walk unless driving benefited your family for other reasons.

tryinganewname · 28/12/2018 20:22

Would working 3 days not be more beneficial?

More pay and DS would be more settled in nursery plus not running the risk of them saying no to you (which they might be doing already by saying they're full when actually it's because they don't want 1 day a week when another child could fill a space for more days).

Original poster
badreams · 28/12/2018 20:24

Yea that's true the car wouldn't be worth it just to get me to work one day a week I just thought if I managed to overcome my anxiety with driving it would benefit me and DS in the long run so I could take us out and we aren't stuck in the house for the five days I'm home with him or maybe I just need to get fit so we can start walking most places!

OP posts:
tryinganewname · 28/12/2018 20:25

Also, I drive but not to commute to work because I work in a major city centre and the cost of parking far outweighs bus costs.. DH will be dropping DD at nursery in a morning in the car and then I'll be staying on the bus further, getting off at nursery and then walking home - it's 1.2 miles and took me 20 minutes when I did a test run with the pram last week.

Fairylightfurore · 28/12/2018 20:32

Start doing the walk once a week now to build up your stamina. I walk half that every day each way on the school run and a further 1.8 miles each way to a class for the kids once a week (as does my 4 year old and 7 year old) and it's no distance. You'll be fine.

Hohocabbage · 28/12/2018 20:40

I love having a car but when I’ve not had one there’s no way I would sit in the house with a dc - being overweight has never stopped me going on walks or getting a bus! I think you see obstacles here but there are more opportunities than you think. Being at home with your first baby is a hard time (well it was for me)

bunnyup · 28/12/2018 20:44

My Cm used to pick my child up, it was a godsend! She did have an assistant though. Worth asking op? Cms tend to be more flexible ime

Nicknacky · 28/12/2018 20:46

I agree cm’s are more flexible but very few offer collections in my experience.

Worth looking for but are like hens teeth.

lulu12345 · 28/12/2018 20:51

Can't believe all this fuss for such a simple problem with multiple possible solutions. Sorry if I'm sounding harsh, but come on OP, time to get assertive and take control of your life.

sothecatwasontheroof · 28/12/2018 21:00

Depending on the time you need to be at work then some childminders will collect from a school they do drops at.

Nursery's around here tend not to like the single day but can often offer a Friday.

I can't believe there isn't a single thing to do near you at the moment. I don't have a car and it's a fair walk to the bus stop, but I walk to most things. Have you tried church Playgroups/ toddler groups. You don't have to be religious. Or your library may run children's classes. It will get you walking.

BackforGood · 28/12/2018 21:22

I agree with those saying it does seem you don't really want a solution.

Loads of options have been suggested but you don't really seem interested.
It seems ridiculous to have got so far as passing your test and then not using that skill (for life generally) - though of course, running a 2nd car would be expensive in terms of resolving this issue.

1.8 miles to work would only be 3 and a half miles walking each day if there were a CMer or Nursery on the way, a bit more if you divert off of course, but that really isn't ridiculous and would be easy to build up to over the next 3 months if you really don't feel capable of walking that far yet. The fact you have said you are overweight means some brisk walking twice a day would give you the bonus of toning up a bit too. Some decent, supportive walking shoes with give support to your arches.

I too am surprised that all of this hasn't been thought of before.
Going back, before your colleague kindly offered you a lift, how did you get to work ?

GreenTulips · 29/12/2018 00:49

I just need to get fit so we can start walking most places!

Walking will be the fitness program

Can’t believe it’s only 2 miles - won’t take you long with a pram

stinkypoo · 29/12/2018 00:57

What about the father? Can he adjust his hours at all to help?

OrdinarySnowflake · 29/12/2018 09:08

Stinkypoo- he's already said he can do pick up every day she wants to work, just not drop off. Which is fair enough when the op could walk or drive, and be at work on time, but won't consider the options.

insancerre · 29/12/2018 09:20

Get a taxi to nursery
Then walk to work
Then see if your partner will pick you up and you can both collect from nursery

Original poster
badreams · 29/12/2018 09:27

Thanks again for all the replies! Will walk to nursery and work in the morning and then get DP to do pick up. I really do need to get fit so it'll do me good. Will probably do a few trial walks first too. Maybe in colder wetter weather will get a taxi to nursery then walk to work but in nicer weather will walk the whole way to keep costs down.

OP posts:
Shitmewithyourrhythmstick · 29/12/2018 09:39

Glad your boss is keen for you to come back. As you're not married, you really need to keep working. Ideally as much as possible. I'm another who doesn't think the car upkeep for one journey a week is likely to be worth it. You could get a taxi on manky days and that wouldn't be more than a couple of quid each way?

I also wouldn't assume a provider one day a week won't be available. I'm aware from posters on here that some don't like it but I know a few people in our area whove been ok with it. There's no shortage of places near us though. So I think it depends whether providers locally have better options or not.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.