How to ask an awkward question

[PeanutButterLips]

So for Christmas my dad and his partner asked what we wanted and we all agreed money would be best as we can get what we like.
So he's come round today and he's got two gifts. One for me and my partner, we do have a son. I said 'oh I thought we weren't doing gifts'
And he mumbled like oh it's just a little something.
I didn't even think about the money as it didn't cross my mind.
However, a few hours later my dad leaves and I say to my partner, he didn't give us anything that would indicate we have been given money.
Also, if the gifts are our only presents, then where are our sons gift?
He's 9 and my dad is his grandad.
Will always treat him so defo not a case of leaving him out.
Now I've got the awkward question of asking him xmas day where the money is. but I don't have a jokey relationship with my dad I can't seem to find the way to ask without sounding cheeky/awkward or stumbling over my words cos I'm trying to find the words a nice way that won't cause offence?
Maybe he has forgotten but when he gave presents, he gave my son an envelope that was from his partners parents so could have given it then.
We opened xmas cards a few weeks ago and they were just Cards.
I was so baffled I ashamed to say me and partner opened our gifts incase there was an envelope inside the gifts and no there wasn't.
So we defo have no money gift.
How would you word it? I'll be talking over the phone not through texts.

He might give you the money on Christmas Day?

If you aren't in dire need of the cash I'd say let it slide.

How well do you know his financial position? He might be in a tight spot himself right now.

He came today because we won't see him until the new year.

Do you really need the money? I am curious about your attachment to it. He has given you a gift.... it’s not even Christmas yet. I would wait and see what happens on Christmas Day.

I would feel uncomfortable raising it personally.

He currently had a change in circumstances and mentioned that he's in a better financial position than he was, so I couldn't say it was that.
He's been in money troubles other years and still manages to give us Christmas money as that's all we usually ask off my dad.
Just puzzled this year where it is.

I would not dream of asking and I think that's quite rude to ask.

We don't need the money I just feel for my son because this will be the first Christmas out of 9 he's received nothing from his grandad.
He would be able to choose what he's spends his part of money on.

That would be incredibly rude. He has given you a gift so be grateful.

Maybe he will transfer it electronically?

Are the gifts instead of money? I don't think I would say anything - it's not like he has forgotten completely.

Why would you ask?
I would thank him for the gift and not mention the money

How do you raise it!?!

Don't!!! I couldn't bear to be so crass as to be all 'but where's my money?' On Christmas Day (or any other day)

Unless....I was really struggling and was desperately relying on it. Even then, I wouldn't bring it up on Christmas Day.....Wow!

Little even though he asked what we want for xmas and we said money ? Then not to receive it.
If my dad was struggling he would let me know that he couldn't afford it, and we wouldn't dream of having any, but also he's spent a fair amount on our gifts we have been given today.

No you don't ask

A gift is just that. Something someone chooses to give you. They may ask for suggestions as they'd like to get you a gift.

But you don't dictate what they get and certainly don't question it

How much money were you expecting?

I especially wouldn't go tearing into my Christmas gifts early looking for the readies.

Have you any idea how selfish and ungrateful you sound?

I wouldn't say anything about the money. I would be wondering where your sons gift is though but again....I doubt I would ask. Did you also give them gifts?

Is it possible he is sending you the money through the bank?

Wow I can't believe you'd even consider chasing up the money you thought you'd be getting.

In my opinion that's rude and grabby.

I'm more wondering about my son? I know my dad would rather get my son a gift than my partner but we both received presents but not my son.
That's how I know somethings happened

When you said "I thought we weren't doing gifts", does that mean he didn't get a gift from you?

Does he have your bank details? If so, it may already be in your account- check your balance!

Have you opened the gifts yet? Maybe there is an money envelope inside along with the gift? I’ve done this before.

My dad doesn't have my bank details so wouldn't be electronically.
I also won't answer now to people saying I'm rude and grabby, if you knew me you wouldn't say that about me.
I asked how would you bring it up. not please give me your opinions of how rude you think I am

You weren't 'more worried about your Son' when you and DH were ripping into your Xmas presents hunting for the loot.

I'm aghast at your attitude.
Maybe he is too, which is why you've got presents and not cold, hard cash.

OP he doesn't owe you the gifts just because you asked for them.