How to ask an awkward question

[PeanutButterLips]

So for Christmas my dad and his partner asked what we wanted and we all agreed money would be best as we can get what we like.
So he's come round today and he's got two gifts. One for me and my partner, we do have a son. I said 'oh I thought we weren't doing gifts'
And he mumbled like oh it's just a little something.
I didn't even think about the money as it didn't cross my mind.
However, a few hours later my dad leaves and I say to my partner, he didn't give us anything that would indicate we have been given money.
Also, if the gifts are our only presents, then where are our sons gift?
He's 9 and my dad is his grandad.
Will always treat him so defo not a case of leaving him out.
Now I've got the awkward question of asking him xmas day where the money is. but I don't have a jokey relationship with my dad I can't seem to find the way to ask without sounding cheeky/awkward or stumbling over my words cos I'm trying to find the words a nice way that won't cause offence?
Maybe he has forgotten but when he gave presents, he gave my son an envelope that was from his partners parents so could have given it then.
We opened xmas cards a few weeks ago and they were just Cards.
I was so baffled I ashamed to say me and partner opened our gifts incase there was an envelope inside the gifts and no there wasn't.
So we defo have no money gift.
How would you word it? I'll be talking over the phone not through texts.

If it's not a genuine mistake then why has my son not received anything?
My son would come before my partner and my dad wouldn't leave him out intentionally.

If you think he will bring up what you spent it on, then that's the perfect opportunity to say then without looking grasping or being awkward.
You reply "You bought us X and y as presents, wasn't that instead of money?"

If he did mean to give money then he'll say "oops" and pass it over.
If he doesn't say anything then you know the gifts are as intended.

Wait until then.

Surely you wait and if he asked after Xmas what you spent the money on you can mention that you didn't get it? If he doesn't know know he just intended to do gifts.

Could you say one of the gifts has lost its tag and query if it was for your partner or your son?

It could be a way of beginning to broach the subject of there not being 3 gifts.

'Hey dad, just laying out the presents under the tree and noticed that neither of the presents have DS' name on, is that right? Just checking- looking forward to seeing you in the new year x'

I like the lost tag idea! I'd do that. Although he may guess what you're getting at and know you're lying.

Do NOT ask about money....you can't expect a present and money xx

The tags were stuck to the paper no way of them coming off so I cnt say that unfortunately.
Not even a nuclear bomb can remove my dads tags lol

Thing is OP... you might not like the negative comments or want to respond fo them but if you read your OP it does seem more focused on YOUR money than your sons gift

Could you say one of the gifts has lost its tag and query if it was for your partner or your son

Nothing says Christmas spirit like lying to your dad to try and get cash out of him.

You've misunderstood pinkyyy, the suggestion you highlighted is a way to prompt the OP's dad about a forgotten present for his grandchild. It's nothing to do with lying to get money out of him for herself.
The lack of present for the DS is the real issue.

No I haven't. She shouldn't have to lie. And the whole point of this post is for someone to give her a way to ask her dad to give her money, when he's already given her a gift. I fucking hate greedy people.

I’m quite shocked at how desperate you are to get your hands on £35. So your son didn’t get a present. I’m this house we laugh off such occasions and would never dream of asking where our money/gift is. What exactly is it you think has ‘happened’ with your dad? You aren’t going to get over it so I suggest you call right now and demand money and a present in addition to what you already got. Sheesh.

Well mine and PP's posts were about politely broaching the subject of there being a missing present, to clarify if they were indeed meant for OP and her OH. It's odd to come round without a present for his grandson.

In answer to your original question, when you are on the phone to your dad, I think it is perfectly reasonable to say thank you for the gifts dad, but did you mean to give one to Fred too? And just see what he says.

If you feel the need after that bit of the conversation you could ask, did you decide in the end to give us a gift rather than money? But if the value of the presents was £35 and that is the total you would normally receive between the three of you, I wouldn't have thought that that was any amount to be fussed about.

Unless you think his partner is interfering. Or he has the start of dementia.

It's not rocket science, she's already said that there are labels on the presents so why would she need to clarify that they're for her and her DH? It's not the end of the world if her precious DC is missing one present and she's clearly only has interest in the material aspects of Christmas.

Very ride to ask for present or bring it up. If you don't make a big deal out of it I'm sure your son won't even notice. Say thank you for your gifts and have done.

Unless you are worried that your dad is getting dementia or something l honestly don't see what all the fuss is about.
For goodness sake LEAVE IT you are acting seriously weird here. Stop and think about it.

I'd either text and say something like 'just checking, did you bring a present for DS as I was just tidying up and can't find were I put that one' or just give your son a present or money and pretend it's from your dad, that way he's not upset, and you don't have to ask your dad.

Maybe wait until Christmas Day before doing anything. He may have sent something in the post for your DS.
Do you open your presents before Christmas? I find that strange that you know what he has bought you already

Her precious DS

That's nice.
When I have GC I wouldn't dream of not getting them a present, would be mortified to have left it in my car or something and would appreciate it bringing to my attention in a tactful way. I'd rather my kids get presents than myself so wouldn't feel comfortable accepting a present and there being nothing for DS

Well that's nice for you @BlancheM. Perhaps if you'd read some of the posts of people desperately looking for ideas to get their children something for Christmas when they have practically no money, you'd realise that not everyone is that fortunate. If the OP's DS would be devastated not to receive money from his Grandad then he clearly has had great values instilled in him.

Jesus, you opened your gifts looking for an envelope with thirty off quid and then wanted to ask him where the money was? 😱

I really would not say anything at all, if you really must say something like will I label one of our gifts to our child from you, and we loved our gifts thanks.

But god, opening your presents looking for an envelope.

Wtf pinkyy project onto someone else. Don't preach to me.

I'm not projecting. I'm fortunate enough to have never wanted for anything as a child but the OP is being greedy and grabby. How can a grown woman behave this way, opening gifts early to make sure they have cash as well? It's disgusting

No idea. My comments were nothing to do with that.