Asda have fucked up my Christmas food shopping: a rant.

[EwItsAHooman]

Need to rent here so that I don't end up losing my temper with some undeserving person on the customer services helpline.

Booked my online food shop several weeks ago to be delivered tonight. Have gotten an email from Asda now detailing everything that has either been substituted or is not available. Out of 100 items, 28 have been substituted and 5 are unavailable.

Fucks sake.

And the substitutions.... What in the actual fuck!?

40 cocktail sausages, for making pigs in blankets, have been substituted for 12 cocktail sausages. How far do they think 12 will go!?

Frozen party food. A box of mini pizzas has been substituted for one pizza. Selection of Indian snacks has been substituted for spring rolls. Duck rolls have been substituted for spring rolls too. We'll be drowning in spring bloody rolls.

Sausage rolls have been substituted for a pack of Richmond sausages.

A pack of mixed "festive" cheeses has been substituted for a single block of Wensleydale.

Pickled gherkins are now pickled cucumbers.

Extra special fancy flavoured stuffing is now normal Paxo.

Turkey gravy has become chicken gravy granules.

Pretzel stars are now tortilla rolls.

Mint vienetta has become lemon ice cream.

These are just the ones I can remember without going back over the email.

And the kicker, the Birds Eye dippers have been substituted for Asda chicken nuggets. The dippers are for DS because he only eats fucking dippers (ASD) and only Birds Eye fucking dippers.

Unavailable items include cranberry sauce, goose fat, chicken skewers, and a few other things.

So 33% of the shopping is wrong and/or missing.

Customer services have been next to useless and I'm waiting on a manager calling me back (which is why I need to unload so that I can get all my fucks out now and then discuss it calmly when he/she does). Said to give any unwanted items to the driver and they'll refund them, which is all well and good but why have they fucked it up so badly in the first place? When it was ordered weeks ago, why wasn't the stock available? I expected one or two missing or substituted bits but thirty-fucking-three!?

So now I need to get the DC sorted, including one with ASD who hates the supermarket and is going to screech at top volume all the way there and all the way around (enjoy that, fellow shoppers!), will probably the violent somewhere between the checkout and the carpark so I can have a few festive thumps, and might even run off depending on exactly how busy it is. Which is why I shopped online in the first place.

And I can't even pour myself a gin and calm down because I've got to go to the fucking supermarket.

Sorry.

My MIL works at Asda. The home shopping stories I hear are truest shocking.

They don’t have enough staff to pick. Sometimes they have to cancel the whole afternoons deliveries.

"some people will initially order 10 bottles of champagne just to make it up to the £40"

I am going to start shopping at ASDA if you can get 10 bottles of champers for £40

I got my Asda delivery last night. 16 missing items, not substituted or unavailable just missing. Charged for them though, cheers for that.

I stopped using Asda for home delivery after several orders had items with a really short shelf life, sometimes with a use by date for the same day.

I use Sainsbury's now and rarely have issues. There was one item missing from my Christmas shop but they emailed me the night before to let me know.

And before anyone says it, yes I know it's a first world problem and some people are homeless/starving or are facing violence at Christmas and so on

Vent all you like Op. My son is 27 and has just had to be sedated because the build up to Christmas has tipped him right over the edge and we’ve not been able to do a thing about it. He also hurt himself and pulled my hair. And I do understand the chicken dippers - with us it’s teddy bear chicken nuggets.

If I lived close to you I’d do your shopping for you ( My son has at home care) but I’m actually thousands of miles away from the UK and all I can do is say that I completely understand and I’m thinking of you and your boy.

I’m not sure that it’s helpful telling the OP that the shops are only closed for one day. Presumably she is planning to have her Christmas dinner on the 25th.

That is poor. I do expect some substitutions, but not that many. I had to send the teens out for emergency desserts and salad because Morrisons can’t provide any with my shop coming later. I was looking forward to trying the sloe gin jellies too.

If you ds likes chicken dippers Ocado have a chicken dipper plate free with two birdseye products-like a little bowl for sauce in the middle

Much as I would love to be one of those grown up organised people who book a delivery slot back in November, and do an comprehensive list for on line shopping, it's tales like this that make me realise that it's not worth the bother if you have to schelp out anyway to buy all the things that got left off your list as unavailable

It’s not about chicken dippers. The OP’s son will only eat BIrds Eye chicken dippers and he’d more than likely be able to tell the difference between those and others at 20 paces.

Morrisons are by far the best when it comes to online shopping and I've tried them all. My shop is due to be delivered later and it's only got one substitution! Sorry op- I feel you pain- Asda are the worst of them all I found and they monumentally cocked up my Xmas shop one year resulting in me dragging around a toddler and baby round the store on Xmas eve. I was not impressed.

Little albatross - if you click onto your account and that days delivery, Asda refund you for short shelf life products, I had items bb next day and day after, kept them but reported and was refunded for all

Just want to join in with the Birdseye chicken dipper solidarity- I have one that will only eat breaded and one that will only eat battered. What the hell do they put in them?

Poor you OP.

I've done online shopping with Asda, Tesco, Sainsbury, Waitrose and Ocado. Asda are the absolute pits for substitutions. I've previously cancelled entire orders because they've needed to do such a huge proportion of substitutions that it's been ridiculous.

I'm now a very loyal Ocado shopper. Rarely any substitutions, hour slots for delivery and brilliant range of products.

I got loads of substitutions from Asda too, fortunately most of mine were ok with the exception of the extra extra hit burn your bloody mouth out chilli chutney they sent me instead of sweet chilli jam.

Oh and I didn't get any sprouts at all!

Silver from an ASD point of view I suspect it’s the sameness of things like dippers that children like. They know they’ll get the same thing each time they eat them.

Tbh If you get a “my Christmas big shop been fucked up” it’s often Asda.

I’m just in from Sainsbury and Arfors in my town.

No queue at all for Argos.

Sainsburys has everything in stock, one person ahead of us in the queue, but 15 minutes to get out of the car park.

You know this now but basically Asda deliveries and substitutions are so poor that I stopped using them long ago.

Would never trust them for Christmas in a million years.

You have my deepest sympathies. I was let down by ASDA big time one Christmas many moons ago and have never tried them since.

Only once have I ever tried Asda delivery and that was at Christmas a number of years back. They took payment but then cancelled the order. No phone call or email. When o phoned they just said oh yeh we had to cancel all deliveries in your area today. When I pushed they didn't call me because apparently they won't call before 7am? Although the money left my account at just gone half 7.

It took a couple of weeks for the refund to clear too. This wasn't a disaster for us as we had enough money available to trek to the shops Christmas Eve for a shop, but for anyone who was living hand to mouth I imagine their Christmas was totally screwed up.

I now stick to Ocado for the Christmas shop as I don't tend to get issues with them.

I think the 'the shops are only closed for one day' comment was in reference to ASDA being gridlocked today, not the OP's situation.

I would hope that substitutions were not decided by a computer. Surely ASDA could trust their human staff to make better decisions. For instance, why aren't they giving her 3 x 12 cocktail sausages if the 40 pack isn't available? The mint vienetta for another flavour vienetta or a different mint icecream? Common sense trumps algorithms.

I have Tesco midweek delivery plan so my last delivery was Thursday. However knowing the trauma of substitutions l have ordered the frozen items ie pigs in blankets, desserts etc over the last few weeks.

Mum is collecting from Morrison's tomorrow so fingers crossed it is all there...

That will learn you!
Stop being lazy and do your own shopping in future.

This is why I prefer Ocado. Very few missing items or subs.

Hollow laugh.

Normally I'd agree, but at 8am I got the dreaded 'your order has a high number of missing or substituted items' text. My particular highlight was no toilet rolls or leeks apparently available to substitute for the ones I'd ordered, thus forcing me out to the supermarket. With fibromyalgia, an autistic 4 yr old and a husband working until after the shops close, that was fun!

I’ve just had a message from my friend who has an online Ocado shop every week and has done for many years. They left off her turkey amongstva lot of other rather key items.

She is penning an enraged email as I type.

Total PITA.