DD Aged 5 wants her ears pierced!

[PFB1]

DD is asking me to have her ears pierced. I initially said she can once she's older but she's really keen to have it done.

Is 5 way too young? My mum was extremely strict so I don't feel like I have any guide as to what is reasonable and what's not.

Would appreciate some advice.

Thanks.

@PFB1 that is my parenting approach too and I have two wonderfully well behaved children who are also able to make safe choices when I am not there to guide them. My son has several times stood up to his dad (we are separated) who was encouraging him to make really stupid / dangerous choices.

We need to teach our children to think for themselves. And also if we only say “no” when it really matters then they respect the “no” far more.

My dds both had it done just before the summer holiday at the end of year 1 (so 6 nearly 7yo)

I felt this was good timing, as they were old enough to choose that they wanted it done, and understand that they had to be maintained (and not fiddle). But also young enough that they were happy to let me check and look after them.
A number of their friends had them done in year 6 and a fair proportion had problems(including needing them cut out at A&E) because they did the maintenance themselves and didn't say when they were being an initial problem because they didn't want to lose them.

For what it's worth too, my dds only wear earrings for special occasions now, they got their fix of sparkly-on-all-occasions when still small.

DD asked to have hers done at 5. I also told her it would hurt. She said she didn't mind so I took her. Its a personal choice, I obv wouldn't let her have anything else pierced but when I grew up ears being pierced seemed the norm and didn't seem to cause any damage or controversy.

My six year old wants to dye her hair blonde like Elsa. Strangely, I've said no....

SirBobblyofSock you see,nod have explained that bleaching hair damages it and can also cause painful burns to delicate skin and then suggested clip in extensions. I wouldn't just say "no", though the outcome (child not dying their hair) would appear the same, the message is different. I think that's all the OP means.

My 5 wants hers done too. Her Spanish friend has had them pierced since birth (they do it in the hospital there) and I honestly don't mind her having them but can't find anywhere 'reputable' (ie a proper trained piercer) that will pierce a child until until 12 years of age. So it's out of my hands. She wears clip on earrings and is ok with that.

I had mines done when I was two years old. When my child is two I will have hers pierced so has complete time of healing before school starts and doesn't get blocked if she doesn't wear earrings

My dd asked at 5 I said she could have them done at 8, she held me to it and had them done just after her 8th birthday. She never had any issues with cleaning or them closing. Her school allow plain studs so she only has to take them out for sports.

I've never had my ears pierced, I consider it every now and then just to see if I'd suit earrings

DM point blank refused to let me have mine done so I did the first set the week I moved out of home. I now have 3 in each ear, a helix in one ear and a nose stud. So that worked well...

DiddyDragon wants hers done but I've said not until she's older due to the ears growing thing. I also keep forgetting to check how old she needs to be at our piercers. She's 10 now and fully accepts my reasoning behind making her wait.

I've also told her that she can have as many as she likes as I'd find it very hard to argue otherwise!

My mum let my sister have hers done when she was 5 or 6. I didn't get mine done until my 29th birthday....

Oh and there's the word "gypsy" being used as a reason not to get it done. Any other racial slurs you'd like to use?

Nope. Ignore the requests. They'll go away eventually, and resurface at a more suitable age. For us that was the summer between primary and secondary school.

Exactly @mortifiedmama

The 'it's her body' argument is an odd one imo. At that age you'd have a great deal of input on medical decisions.

It would be way too young for me.

MrsGollach surely, even if you don't agree with it, you know most people don't agree with racist language? I found your post shocking.

What are we allowed to say nowadays

Oh cut the faux naïveté bullshit

"Indian" isn't a racist word, "gypsy" is.

Is it lefty to think that it's unacceptable to use racial slurs in casual conversation?

Ok I’m going to use ever so small words.

When you use another ethnicity as a negative, then it’s a problem, ok?

But you know that. The whole “what can I say” is all a bit 1980s really isn’t? Do you also talk about “PC gorn mad” 🙄

It doesn't look grim at all. I looked absolutely fine and I was 2 when mine were done which was considered late. Saying it's chavvy is a recent thing in my experience, my family have had them done young for over 100 years (and we're British too). Quite a few other girls had them done too and no one made a big deal of it. I'm glad I got them done and have zero regrets. As long as it fits round school and she really wants them done, and knows it will be a bit sore etc then get them done if you want to.

I said no. Too much risk of damage from rough and tumble... she's forgotten about it even though her best friend has them done. Although maybe explaining how it was done helped! We've said she can have them done the summer she leaves primary.

@DrCoconut pierced ears at a young age has always been seen as common in my family - my parents and my grandparents would never have allowed pierced ears for primary age dc. Not a new opinion. If anything it's less class related now than it used to be.