Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Bf gets mad when I wear make-up?

86 replies

Puptup123 · 05/12/2018 20:33

Whenever I wear make up it is a basic amount nothing to fancy. I have worn it for years the same way and is apart of my daily routine. Recently my bf of 2 and a bit years has started to get annoyed about it. At first he didn’t say anything but would just be in a bad mood with me all day. It clicked to me that it could be that because days when I don’t wear it he would be fine.

I asked him does it bother you and he said why do you want to attract other people. I said it’s not for that, it’s for me and I have worse it for years, and i find it enjoyable to put on. He would say only slags wear make up and girls with none are far more marriage material? It’s starting to put me down as I feel like I can’t be me? And I try not to annoy him and not wear any but then I feel so horrible going out on a Saturday to town without making any effort? He would also make comments about my clothes calling me a slut even when I only wear jeans and a top and coat everyday. AIBU?

(Sorry for long post)

OP posts:
BlaaBlaaBlaa · 05/12/2018 20:34

This is very controlling behaviour. It will only get worse. Leave while you can.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 05/12/2018 20:36

Just re-read and have seen he calls you slut? Disgusting behaviour.
He's a sexist, misogynistic, abusive arse. You need to leave.

LadyPenelopeCantDance · 05/12/2018 20:36

Massive red flag which will only get worse. He sounds horrible and controlling. Get out whilst you can!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Beauty
Drogosnextwife · 05/12/2018 20:36

And you are actually facilitating this crap and allowing him to bit you into not wearing make up?

Get out of that relationship now, he is an abusive twat.

SexNotJenga · 05/12/2018 20:37

You should've dumped him the first time he called you a slut. Don't worry, though, you can still dump him now.

LL83 · 05/12/2018 20:38

A person who loves you doesn't make you feel like that.

choli · 05/12/2018 20:38

Good Lord. Get rid. I hope you are not living with him. There is no excuse for that behaviour.

Alicatz66 · 05/12/2018 20:39

Is this for real ? ..

HopeAndJoy16 · 05/12/2018 20:40

Those are MASSIVE red flags OP, i would get out now! He sounds absolutely vile. I think his behaviour will only get worse as he grinds you down and erodes your self esteem. Don't put up with it.

treaclesoda · 05/12/2018 20:42

Run for the hills. Your life will only get worse if you stay with him. Next it will be only sluts go out without their partner, only sluts have jobs, only sluts have friends. And before you know it you'll have nothing.

Run.

KennDodd · 05/12/2018 20:43

I would absolutely 100% leave, without question and as soon as possible. Do you live with him?

If you choose to stay this will only get worse. Imagine having female children with this man, he would also be dictating what they wear and calling them slabs. If you had male children with this man he would be modelling this behaviour as an acceptable way to treat women.

Ohyesiam · 05/12/2018 20:48

If this is real he is massively controlling. Nobody should be telling you what to do, except your boss at work and then only respectfully.
This behaviour is irrational and will get worse. He will start to
Isolate you from your family/ friends, and he will continue to chip away at your self confidence by putting you down for doing normal things.

Op you deserve to be accepted as you are and you deserve respect .

Please end this relationship.

Claw001 · 05/12/2018 20:49

Your bf gets mad, is in a bad mood and calls you a slag and a slut for wearing make up and clothes and you are asking if you are being unreasonable?!

What do you think you are being unreasonable about?

bringincrazyback · 05/12/2018 20:50

This is abuse. Run for the hills.

toolazytothinkofausername · 05/12/2018 20:52

Please leave. This controlling behaviour is out of order!

Original poster
Puptup123 · 05/12/2018 20:58

Wow so many responses! Thank you everyone I appreciate it! Yes this is for real! And no I don’t live with him I am a student nurse but I use to live with him last year but it was so hard with both of us studying and I developed depression overtime because I had so much going on

This is my first boyfriend and I know in my head it is wrong but doubt myself constantly wondering if it’s normal for all this to be going on? I get told I am going to be a nurse soon and can’t be wearing make up like a “16 year old” but I am only 20 and I use to be an outgoing girl but now I can’t even go to the shop without getting anxious. Everyone is saying how much I’ve changed but no one around me understands..

OP posts:
TheCrowFromBelow · 05/12/2018 21:00

Life’s way too short for that kind of crap.
Hope you are reading these comments and taking them to heart- leave him before it gets worse.

TheCrowFromBelow · 05/12/2018 21:02

Jeez just read your update.

I’m 47 and wear make up pretty much every day, not loads but I always wear eyeliner and mascara and always have done.

He really isn’t “the one”. The one will not ask you to change to please or appease them they’ll just like and love you as you are.

Etino · 05/12/2018 21:09

What do your friends think about him?

Original poster
Puptup123 · 05/12/2018 21:11

Well they don’t say much, I don’t have as much friends as I use to but I try not to tell many people what’s going on as I’m embarrassed

OP posts:
Tiredmum100 · 05/12/2018 21:11

Get out, get out, get out.

KandoKat · 05/12/2018 21:13

Ltb!

Lookatyourwatchnow · 05/12/2018 21:15

It's not a red flag. A red flag is an indicator or suggestion that a man may be controlling or abusive. This man is already a common garden controller and abuser.

Craftycorvid · 05/12/2018 21:15

Please get out of this relationship. Been there with my first bf - criticising clothes and make-up and refusing to go out with me if I dressed a certain way. It doesn’t get any better. Don’t waste your precious time on him. Flowers

ShatnersBassoon · 05/12/2018 21:16

He's a waste of space, and he knows you're too good for him. Dump him asap.