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Bf gets mad when I wear make-up?

86 replies

Puptup123 · 05/12/2018 20:33

Whenever I wear make up it is a basic amount nothing to fancy. I have worn it for years the same way and is apart of my daily routine. Recently my bf of 2 and a bit years has started to get annoyed about it. At first he didn’t say anything but would just be in a bad mood with me all day. It clicked to me that it could be that because days when I don’t wear it he would be fine.

I asked him does it bother you and he said why do you want to attract other people. I said it’s not for that, it’s for me and I have worse it for years, and i find it enjoyable to put on. He would say only slags wear make up and girls with none are far more marriage material? It’s starting to put me down as I feel like I can’t be me? And I try not to annoy him and not wear any but then I feel so horrible going out on a Saturday to town without making any effort? He would also make comments about my clothes calling me a slut even when I only wear jeans and a top and coat everyday. AIBU?

(Sorry for long post)

OP posts:
Puptup123 · 05/12/2018 21:44

Yeah I know I just feel abit ashamed about that bit but I make the excuse he was drunk and it was about 6 months ago. The make up thing has realised came up out of nowhere

OP posts:
Hiphopopotamous · 05/12/2018 21:44

Why didn't you lead with that? It's awful.
You need to leave him ASAP.

ApolloandDaphne · 05/12/2018 21:45

You are only 20. Get out before he ruins your entire life.

Interested in this thread?

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Hiphopopotamous · 05/12/2018 21:47

I think just by posting, you know in yourself that this isn't normal.
First boyfriends do feel special but you are so young and you will find someone better than this.

Holidayshopping · 05/12/2018 21:47

And his plus points...?

Wordthe · 05/12/2018 21:48

WARNING
⛳⛳⛳
RUN

NonaGrey · 05/12/2018 21:48

End it right now.

He kicked you.
He spat at you
He called you a whore
He called you a slut

Why the hell do you care about his views on your make up and clothes???

Don’t be ashamed. Don’t be embarrassed.

Tell your parents and your friends what’s happening and get them to support you in real life.

He’s dangerous.
He doesn’t love you.
He doesn’t even like you.

End it right now.
Block him from every possible means of contact.

You are 20. Don’t waste another minute of your life on this man.

There are lots of lovely, kind men who would love you and cherish you.

This one doesn’t deserve you.

MikeUniformMike · 05/12/2018 21:51

Get rid of him and celebrate with a trip to your nearest department store's make-up counter.

Wolfiefan · 05/12/2018 21:51

He physically and verbally assaulted you but it’s ok as he was drunk?!
WTF?
This is so far from ok I don’t know where to start. Decent human beings don’t hurt the ones they love. They don’t have a skinful then turn nasty. They just don’t.

Wordthe · 05/12/2018 21:54

He's a knuckledragging fuckwitt
you don't need him in your life

Kittybelle123 · 05/12/2018 21:54

I was you at 20. Well done in realising the problems and admitting them.

Do you have anywhere to go? Make a plan and stick to it but GET OUT of this relationship and don't look back.

It took me a long, long time to get there (I finally found the courage at 22). I wish I had had your sense and voiced my concerns earlier - but at that time there were no forums like this and I couldn't admit to people in RL what life was like.

There is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about and in time you will realise this. Be kind to yourself and for a while think only what is best for you.

TheCrowFromBelow · 05/12/2018 21:55

Being drunk isn’t an excuse, I used to think that and it’s really not. Honestly you are worth so much more than this.

SherlockHolmes · 05/12/2018 21:55

If this was your friend asking the same question, what would you tell her? He swears at you, spits at you, kicks you and tries to stop you being yourself. Honestly, this is no basis for a relationship. You can do so much better. Like everyone says, get out now before this escalates.

BumDisease · 05/12/2018 21:56

These aren't red flags, these are blinding neon signs accompanied by a blaring siren. DUMP HIM!!

Wordthe · 05/12/2018 21:57

Well done kitty 👍
and go team Mumsnet
helping women to wise up 😁

Iloveacurry · 05/12/2018 21:58

He sounds like a bastard. Please get out of this relationship. He’s controlling.

ViragoKnows · 05/12/2018 21:58

Do you live together?

Sethis · 05/12/2018 21:58

You're 20, and have literally your entire life ahead of you.

Don't spend it with someone who calls you a whore and a slut, physically attacks you, and controls you.

Get out NOW.

There are literally millions of guys out there who won't do any of this, who are only too happy for you to dress how you want, wear makeup how you want, and go out whenever you want. Men who will never, ever abuse you.

This fish is rotten. Throw it back. Find a new one.

LegoAdventCalendar · 05/12/2018 22:02

He is abusive. This is not normal and will never improve. 2 women a week are murdered by their partners. Don't become one of them. Watch 'Murdered by My Boyfriend' and then GET RID of this twat. You don't have to break up with him in person, either, or give him a reason other than 'This relationship no longer works for me so I am ending it. You are not to contact me further.' And that's IT.

VaselineHero · 05/12/2018 22:05

OP, I know it might seem hard right now, but you have to end this relationship. This will not get better. There is nothing you can do to change him.

He is a violent bully who is eroding your confidence and he will keep going, finding any way to make you feel small and ashamed of yourself. You are withdrawing from friends because you feel ashamed. This is his shame - not yours.

You are so young, you know his behaviour isn't right, listen to that and act on it. There are so many men out there who will love and cherish you.

Please end it. People here will support you through it.

Drogosnextwife · 05/12/2018 22:06

You don't even have to give him that much of an explanation, just leave when he's not there, delete block and move on.

giveovermypreciousss · 05/12/2018 22:08

You are a student nurse. What advice would you give a patient if they told you this?
You are worth more and this behaviour will only get worse.
Leave him.

Momo18 · 05/12/2018 22:08

Seriously. Fucking run and don't look back, I don't think I've ever said that on here either. He's wrong in the head, anyone with that mindset is likely to be dangerous imo.

Daisymay2 · 05/12/2018 22:09

Thanfully you don't live with him anymore.
Everything is wrong here: he has
hit you - being drunk is NOT an exuse
called you a whore and a slut
has isolated you from your friends
objects to you wearing make up
doesn't like the way you dress.
Told you you are not marriage material. ( DO NOT EVEN THINK OF MARRYING HIM)
He is a controlling thug. He is dangerous.
Tell him you are done, Block him on everything. Do not listen when he tries to talk you round.Tell your family and friends what he has done.
To coin a phrase - take back control.

AsleepAllDay · 05/12/2018 22:10

I would leave

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