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Original poster

WWYD- pulling kid out of nativity play

174 replies

ferrisbulerisonabreak · 04/12/2018 11:19

I don't want my kid to take part in of nativity play due to religious reasons. We have decided that we will keep her home instead of sending her in on that day. I want to know how to approach the school about it and will I have to take authorised leave or unauthorised?

Please don't go off topic by saying I should be letting my child participate in it and such. We have made our decision. Whether you agree with or not is not up for discussion. Just want to know where we stand and how to approach the school with it.

OP posts:
grasspigeons · 04/12/2018 14:43

Op, I think you will find the school much more reasonable that most of the responses.

I work in a school, we send a letter out every year saying 'rehearsals are starting for nativity, please speak to the teacher if you have any concerns about the religious aspect' and every year a couple of children will not take part, a couple will get a different part and a couple with have their fears allayed.

PoutySprout · 04/12/2018 14:43

A nativity play isn't an act of worship - it doesn't involve prayer. It's a re-telling of a story that happens to be a Christian one.

Children learn through singing songs. A song about heaven/magic babies is going to be believed.

RiverTam · 04/12/2018 14:46

but how much do children really know what they're doing when it comes to belief? I think that's quite an adult interpretation. For a child it's just words that someone has told them to say, no different to any other play. (Which is why I'm dubious about not allowing children to not do these things because of 'their' beliefs. It's not their beliefs, they haven't actively chosen it, they're just doing what they're parents say. Ditto children of atheists.)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General education Philosophy & religion
Mookatron · 04/12/2018 14:47

A nativity play does not involve prayer. It involves a child actor playing a character who is praying (singing Away in a Manger)

Generally it's a whole class singing it. And your concept is ambiguous enough to go right over many 4 year old heads whatever I think about it.

shouldidoitspoilt · 04/12/2018 14:49

You're excluding them and making them different from their peers
If you instil your values and beliefs in them properly at home they a play with some tea towels, tinsel and white sheets is fine to participate in.

Just because you don't like the answers it doesn't mean a thread should be closed, sorry Hun 🙄

PoutySprout · 04/12/2018 14:49

*For a child it's just words that someone has told them to say, no different to any other play.

If it’s told as a story - some people believe etc, then yes. But I’m not convinced that bit of the explanation makes it through.

Notonthestairs · 04/12/2018 14:50

What about asking if your child can be stage hand, props or prompt? They'd need adult supervision obviously but it might be fun for them.

I am religious and don't see any problem in a child not wanting to fully participate (for any reason) - but a lot of the build up to it will dominate school afternoons and they will need something to do.

MrsJayy · 04/12/2018 14:50

If a family is Christian hymns and nativity and the little baby jesus being born to save us all is a belief if a family is not Christian of another or no faith surely it is their families choice to take part in christian worship or not?

Mookatron · 04/12/2018 14:50

but how much do children really know what they're doing when it comes to belief? I think that's quite an adult interpretation. For a child it's just words that someone has told them to say, I don't exactly disagree with you, but you could say that about absolutely any educational process really. After all, spelling is only correct because we say it is.

RiverTam · 04/12/2018 14:56

well, in English that is true (in France, though, it wouldn't be).

I suppose I think that I grew up going to a church school and being hauled to Mass every week, and I daresay I 'believed' in it all when I was young. But for as long as I can actually remember I have been ambivalent about it, at best, and sometimes outright hostile to it.

So all that God when I was young hasn't made a full on believer of me. But I do find it useful to know a lot of this stuff - handy for the crossword, you know?

Branleuse · 04/12/2018 14:57

What a shame for your child. Muslim children were just as involved in the christmas plays and concerts at my kids primary school as anyone, and their families all came and watched, in order to take part in the traditions and culture of the country. I guess some people are just less insecure about their faith than others

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 04/12/2018 14:59

On a completely different note, it is extremely irksome when an OP pops up and calls time on a thread. It's not closing time at the pub, you can't just pull the shutters down.

KittensAndChristmasCake · 04/12/2018 15:04

I have asked mumsnet to close this thread. I have the information and ideas I needed. I am not going to answer anymore posts.

Glad to see you're keeping an open mind and any debate open.

RiverTam · 04/12/2018 15:04

no, but the after party can still continue!

AlexanderHamilton · 04/12/2018 15:07

Well ds is going to be in a performance of Peter Pan soon. And the choir of children will be singing about mermaids and flying boys. I'm sure they don't beleive its real.

Aquilla · 04/12/2018 15:26

There's always one, isn't there.
Bet you'd be fine about a visit to the local mosque though.

Brittanyspears · 04/12/2018 15:26

Erm speak to the school?!?

Stuckforthefourthtime · 04/12/2018 15:48

Erm speak to the school?!?

But it would be so much less fun being the Brave Atheist and Standing Up For Her Beliefs if it turns out that like most schools, most of the teachers are non-believers too and they'll happily have her child do drawings or join a Sikh classmate in playing shepherds and not joining the hymns.

Much better to let the kids join rehearsals and have a poor teacher plan a programme, then dramatically announce a desire to fight any unauthorised absence fine...

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 04/12/2018 15:50

Children learn through singing songs. A song about heaven/magic babies is going to be believed

Shit better stop singing most songs with my class then in case they believe the stuff about crocodiles eating them, weasels going pop and Alice the camel having ten humps... 😒

GoneForFood · 04/12/2018 16:03

It’s things like this that give ammunition and justification to the ‘Britain First-ers’

Either speak to the school and ask for your dc be withdrawn from religious teachings/celebrations, or let them join in whilst actually, you know, telling them that other people have different beliefs, cultures and traditions that although they don’t align with your own families, they still should be respected. Like what all children are taught in school.

GlitterSnot · 04/12/2018 16:21

My father was Muslim and I was never pulled out of nativity plays. He simply told me different people have different beliefs. Some of my Muslim family send me Christmas cards. They understand that I was born and raised in the western world.

If you do not believe in Jesus being the son of God then surely the nativity is just a story? Fairy tales are not real but we embrace them as children. I went to school with a JW girl and she was so sad to be excluded at Christmas. Especially as I was not a Christian and was included.

TwistedChristmas · 04/12/2018 16:24

Perhaps a faith school would be a good idea to avoid problems like this and any future issues?

MartaHallard · 04/12/2018 16:25

Christianity informs massive amounts of our culture and traditions, like it or not.

Such as?

History. Literature. Art. Architecture. Music. You won't get far with those in much of Western Europe if you don't have some knowledge and understanding of Christianity.

Caprisunorange · 04/12/2018 16:50

OP I think you’ve been really rude on this thread. I don’t believe for a second you weren’t capable of thinking of asking the school yourself, you’ve started a thread and been stroppy from the beginning

PoutySprout · 04/12/2018 16:51

Not a fan of religious buildings, art or music, particularly (I’m a trained musician - without words music isn’t religious 🙃). No trouble avoiding religious literature and historic Christianity is pretty dark - certainly nothing to aspire to today.

Anything else?

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