WWYD- pulling kid out of nativity play

[ferrisbulerisonabreak]

I don't want my kid to take part in of nativity play due to religious reasons. We have decided that we will keep her home instead of sending her in on that day. I want to know how to approach the school about it and will I have to take authorised leave or unauthorised?

Please don't go off topic by saying I should be letting my child participate in it and such. We have made our decision. Whether you agree with or not is not up for discussion. Just want to know where we stand and how to approach the school with it.

But it’s a nativity, not a ambiguous Christmas play, so it’s obvious what it’ll be

Maybe you know this because you are culturally Christian though?

That's your choice but if your child is attending a faith school did you not consider this when picking the school? If your child's happy to join in let them it's your choice not to have a faith let your child do the same rather than imposing your views they will see it as joining in with friends, class, it's part learning as well

Non faith schools do nativity plays too. DDs school is non faith but ks1 do a nativity and ks2 do a carol concert.

At this time of year everything is geared up for Christmas at school. How do you feel about making cards, decorations etc? In this day and age there is barely enough adults in primary schools anyway, let alone one who can sit with one child for hours on end doing non-christmassy stuff. It will be very boring whatever it is.

I don’t really understand why you can’t just explain to your DD that it’s a story that some people believe but that you don’t believe it’s true.

I’m an atheist, DD is as yet undecided but she’s 6 years old so there’s plenty of time for her to contemplate and come to her own conclusions. In the meantime she gets to learn and understand that not everybody believes the same thing. Surely that’s a good thing

I’m an atheist, DD is as yet undecided but she’s 6 years old so there’s plenty of time for her to contemplate and come to her own conclusions. In the meantime she gets to learn and understand that not everybody believes the same thing. Surely that’s a good thing

Exactly. Withdrawing from the nativity isn't a neutral act. It's actively rejecting it - not really very openminded at all.

I think you do want a discussion- otherwise why post?

You've already approached the school once, go back again, say we'd rather our dd/ds didn't appear in the Nativity or watch it. You are not the first or the last.

Hi. There were a number of JW kids at my school. They were taken out of religious activities by our maths teacher (also JW) and given something else to do. Are there others of your faith at the school? If so, it would be less isolating for her if she is doing other activities. I wouldn't take her out, as that's an unauthorised absence. Just ask for her to do some reading or colouring in the library. (FWIW, my religion also doesn't accept the Trinity, either but ive never found the scripts of my kids' school nativity plays to be too doctrinaire.....). Hope you can find a solution.

It's not a faith school. It's very mixed. I am not from this country so don't know the education system here that's why I asked here. We are teaching our kid to respect other religions and we have regular discussions about our faith and other people's faiths. Christmas time actually has been very beneficial to us in that regards. However respecting other's doesn't mean compromising our belief and concept of monotheism is integral to our faith. I requested the script as I don't know what does a nativity play involves. I wanted to make an informed decision and not take my chid out of something unnecessarily. Thank you for those who gave useful tips. I think I know what to do now.

and no I am not JW but a Muslim.

I posted in WWYD not in AIBU. So those who are trying to criticise me for posting here should probably check the board first.

Christ on a bike. I'm an atheist and a primary school teacher - it's really shitty to do something like this at the last minute and is also really isolating for the poor child.

Most parents that are of a different religion, or have no beliefs at all use things like this as a learning opportunity - to teach diversity and tolerance. By withdrawing a child from a Christmas play, it's saying those people are bad, this religion is bad, you're not having anything to do with it.

It's not an act of worship, which I can understand withdrawal from. It's a fairy story being acted out by children, same as any other play. It has lines and a script. Are you aware that primary school children learn about other religions too? We make Diwali lanterns, we visit a synagogue, we learn about Islam and Buddhism. It's part of life - we're all different and this is one of the reasons why society is going backwards.

Sticking a twat owl on your kid's head and watching them sing Away in a Manger isn't going to have an impact on their beliefs.

I'm an atheist. Christianity underpins our culture. Even if you don't agree with something, understanding one of the key stories that underpins it helps your understanding of that culture. It helps references to literature song history etc etc.

I'm damn sure whatever she hears about at school isn't going to overrule your teaching at home. But by doing what you are doing you are restricting your child's understanding of the culture where she lives and her education.

It's a sad thing

Withdrawing her isn’t teaching her to respect others!

Does she want to be withdrawn and made to feel different from her peers?

I like the approach of a poster earlier in the thread who discussed the role her child had to keep it in line with the parents beliefs but without excluding the child

Requested the script?! It’s a school nativity, don’t read too much into it or take it so seriously.

whydontyoucomeonover

“Sticking a twat owl on your kid's head”

This genuinely made me Lol. Can I come to your school nativity? It sounds awesome

told them that we will make a decision based on the script and songs

I'm afraid that I have quite strong feelings about this, OP - you are isolating your child and failing to integrate them. The end result is a school like ours which bends over backwards to accommodate everybody and hence we have a Winter Fair and a Winter Concert - held in a church (so I suppose you wouldn't come to that either) but barely a carol in sight. But we're not celebrating Winter, we're celebrating Christmas. Which for many Brits is a cultural affair.

I really do think if you move to a country that is broadly Christian you need to involve yourself to some degree. It is you and you only who are choosing to isolate yourself and your child. You are 'othering' them.

And your faith can't be up to much if it's likely to be knocked asunder by your child being in a nativity play. But it's your faith, anyway, not his.

How ironic that the ad I have running at the bottom of the page is for the West End show The Book of Mormon.

Ds who is an atheist took part in a BOM workshop last summer with a cast member. He performed Two By Two which included the lines We are the army of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He performs I Believe as a solo. It’s a song, a play, it’s not real. It direct mean he actually believes in Mormonism of Joseph Smith etc. He’s acting.

I'd discuss the options other than completely withdrawing them

Most children won't have a speaking part - there are always loads of shepherds, hangers on to the three kings etc etc that are not directly involved in the story. Would you be happy with them being one of these?

If your objection is going into a church, I'd think carefully about how you would respond when the school organises a field trip to a mosque, synagogue and gurdwara - will you stop your child visiting any other religious places? What would you feel if some of the other children are held back from visiting a mosque because they practice another faith?

But if you are Muslim then you must believe that Jesus was a prophet, the penultimate prophet before Mohammed (PBUH). In the Qu'ran he is mentioned as being born of Mary, and his miracles are described. So why would you object to the telling of his birth?

I really do think if you move to a country that is broadly Christian

I was born and bred in the U.K.. I don’t consider it to be “broadly Christian” in culture. The christians stole Christmas and other festivals from the pagans in order to increase their numbers. So the whole Christian culture thing is bollocks and I’m not afraid for my child to know that.

I actively avoid as much of the Xmas shite as I can. We do celebrate winter, the solstice, etc. The birth of Woody Allen Jesus (in september) has fuck all to dodo with what we do in December. Don’t paint everyone with your brush.

The nativity play is an act of worship. It is our way of teaching children the story of Jesus and how he is the son of God in the Christian religion. The cultural stuff is the Santa, presents, decoration, all that which is connected but not ultimately about a Christian God.

I can quite understand anyone not wanting their kid to say 'Jesus is the Son of God' if their religion directly opposes that notion.

She's not saying they shouldn't do it, she's saying she doesn't want her kid to join in.

Is there another instance of something that happens every single year in school which gets kids to say 'this happened' that is not Christian? It's a Christian ritual.

The OP is being perfectly reasonable given her understanding of how schools work.

The OP will know how to clarify this in future:

• no Christian religious worship
• no nativity plays

Possibly also,

• no Christmas activities
• no making Easter cards / bonnets

Saying the OP 'should' know is like us moving to Pakistan and then it being assumed I understand what goes on in schools for all Muslim celebrations.

I do think though that keeping the DC at home isn't necessarily best. If they are going to miss 'cultural religious worship' they and you might as well get used to it.

I'm an atheist, by the way, who encourages my DC to learn lots about all religions and I regularly visit religious buildings because I love the different architecture. Both the DC and I have managed to avoid "catching religion" despite our extensive exposure regime