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Original poster

WWYD- pulling kid out of nativity play

174 replies

ferrisbulerisonabreak · 04/12/2018 11:19

I don't want my kid to take part in of nativity play due to religious reasons. We have decided that we will keep her home instead of sending her in on that day. I want to know how to approach the school about it and will I have to take authorised leave or unauthorised?

Please don't go off topic by saying I should be letting my child participate in it and such. We have made our decision. Whether you agree with or not is not up for discussion. Just want to know where we stand and how to approach the school with it.

OP posts:
Her0utdoors · 04/12/2018 13:49

Twat owl 😂

WhatchaMaCalllit · 04/12/2018 13:53

There are a few things going on in this thread.

I understand from reading it that the OP is a Muslim. The decisions being made are being made entirely based on the OP's faith and belief system and not that of the OP's DD.
If the OP's DD was asked (I don't know if she has or not) whether she would like to take part in the nativity play or not, (taking it as a play, as you would any play for example and removing the Christianity aspect to it) I would wonder what she would say. Is she allowed to have an opinion on this?

Based on your posts OP, if I were you, I'd have a quiet word with the teacher, express calmly that you don't want your DD to take part in any form of religious instruction and see what they say. Don't go in frustrated or angry as you will not achieve what you want to. If you have left it too late, and as we're in the first week of December, I fear you may have, I'd let this year go by and make sure that you and the school are on the same page for next year.

MrsJayy · 04/12/2018 13:53

I agree the nativity is not cultural it is religious you are telling the stòry of archangels and the son God non believers are entitlled to not take part in this it doesn't mean non believers are not intergrating

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KittensAndChristmasCake · 04/12/2018 13:57

That's what I wondered too, Tighnabruaich 🤔

RiverTam · 04/12/2018 13:58

Pouty of course it is. Yes, the Christians attached their festivals to existing pagan festivals but that was really quite a long time ago (1000 years??), not last week.

Christianity informs massive amounts of our culture and traditions, like it or not. Just because you personally don't believe it to be so doesn't change that fact. We still have a state religion FFS!

There's a lot about Christianity (and religion in general) I really don't like but to deny its influence is just silly.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 04/12/2018 13:59

Have you spoken to anyone at your mosque OP? I remember we had a number of Muslims at DS's primary who took part in the nativity and I'd say they were pretty devout families, so maybe there's a compromise to be reached?

RiverTam · 04/12/2018 14:01

I went to a private C of E boarding school (I'm not C of E) back in the day when pulling your kids out of things you didn't like wasn't done. I'm fairly certain that not a single Catholic, Methodist, Jewish, Hindu, Muslim or atheist child (all represented in the school) converted to the C of E on the basis of appearing in a Nativity Play and having to go to chapel every morning. We did, however, learn a lot about Christianity which in turn made learning things like English history a lot bloody easier.

Mookatron · 04/12/2018 14:03

I don't know when 'back in your day was but I went to a C of E church school too rivertam nearly 40 years ago and there were Jewish and Muslim kids who stayed out of certain religious rituals. As was their right then and so is now.

Original poster
ferrisbulerisonabreak · 04/12/2018 14:05

@Tighnabruaich This post is not really for having a religious discussion or argument. It was about asking about how to approach the school. But since you asked, yes we believe in Jesus AS and we don't have a problem with his birth story being told. It's one of the miracles of Allah. We have discussed this story many times with our child. We also believe that he was a prophet and nothing more which is the main difference between both religions. That is why we don't have a problem with the songs or with the church per se. It the continuous reiteration that he is the Son of God that we don't want to take part in.

I have asked mumsnet to close this thread. I have the information and ideas I needed. I am not going to answer anymore posts. Thanks and bye all.

OP posts:
PoutySprout · 04/12/2018 14:06

Pouty of course it is. Yes, the Christians attached their festivals to existing pagan festivals but that was really quite a long time ago (1000 years??), not last week.

Doesn’t matter to me (and millions of others).

Christianity informs massive amounts of our culture and traditions, like it or not.

Such as? The majority of traditions assigned to christianity existed long before christianity was invented.

Just because you personally don't believe it to be so doesn't change that fact. We still have a state religion FFS!

Apart from bank holidays and short trading hours on a Sunday, it makes fuck all difference to my life.

There's a lot about Christianity (and religion in general) I really don't like but to deny its influence is just silly.

It’s not hard to actively avoid its influence. And I thoroughly recommend people do. It’s a load of bollocks.

knowingkaleidoscope · 04/12/2018 14:07

Imagine yourself in your child's shoes when their friends ask why they aren't in the Christmas play and they say because my mummy said I couldn't be in it. How will your child take it? I'm guessing your child is 6 or under, at that age they aren't going to convert to a different religion. You say your teaching your child about different faiths so teach them about Christianity and let them be a part of the play. Are you not letting them be involved with the other Christmas activities going on at school?
You should of sent them to a Muslim school if your so set in your ways. And you can't use the excuse of you didn't know the English school ways, you live here now and shouldn't of learnt about it. The UK is a country built on Christianity so of course most schools will have a nativity play!

MrsJayy · 04/12/2018 14:10

Well i went to a non denom school late 70s in the 80sand i can certainly remember kids not taking part in assemblies or going to church even non faith schools in the uk have Christian pastoral care

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 04/12/2018 14:21

Tea towel, not twat owl Grin

A nativity play isn't an act of worship - it doesn't involve prayer. It's a re-telling of a story that happens to be a Christian one.

olivertwistwantsmore · 04/12/2018 14:23

Sticking a twat owl on your kid's head

LOve it!!

bakingdemon · 04/12/2018 14:26

Your poor kid. She's going to feel so isolated not being able to join in with her friends or even watch what they'll all have been excitedly preparing for.

Mookatron · 04/12/2018 14:30

The nativity doesn't involve prayer? I suppose it depends on the script and songs. I give you the last 2 verser of 'away in a manger':

I love Thee, Lord Jesus;
Look down from the sky
And stay by my cradle
Till morning is nigh.
Be near me, Lord Jesus;

I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever
And love me I pray!
Bless all the dear children
In Thy tender care,
And fit us for Heaven
To live with Thee there

Sounds like prayer to me.

shouldidoitspoilt · 04/12/2018 14:33

Are you a jehovas witness?
I think it's mean to pull them out if they already have a part

RiverTam · 04/12/2018 14:35

It's only a prayer if you believe in prayer, surely? Otherwise it's just words, if you don't have faith.

So a nativity play is only an act of worship if that's your belief. Other than that it's telling the story of the birth of Jesus which you can believe or not believe is fact or fiction as you choose.

shouldidoitspoilt · 04/12/2018 14:35

Sorry I just saw you are a Muslim

Muslims are actually really welcoming of other religions

I don't see why you need to pull your daughter out etc

Just ask that she isn't Mary

....

Solved

SillyMoomin · 04/12/2018 14:38

There is no reason for MNHQ to close the thread OP

ghostsandghoulies · 04/12/2018 14:38

My children have had children who haven't participated in the nativity for religious reasons (Jehovah's Witness) so I don't think it's an outrageous request. During practices, the children not participating went to another classroom. The performance was during the evening at school so they didn't attend that.

SoupDragon · 04/12/2018 14:38

The children in my DC's class who ŵere muslim all took part in the telling of the nativity story. I didn't realise it was a problem.

Mookatron · 04/12/2018 14:39

Yes but if you do believe in prayer but you're praying to the wrong person (i.e you think Jesus is a prophet but not God on earth) I can see why that might not be something you want your kid to do.

I'm not religious by the way. I just think nativity plays are (but was fine with my kids doing them for the reasons you give about not believing it).

AlexanderHamilton · 04/12/2018 14:43

A nativity play does not involve prayer. It involves a child actor playing a character who is praying (singing Away in a Manger)

Weezol · 04/12/2018 14:43

I will now always refer to tea towels as twat owls, at least in my head.

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