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Original poster

WWYD- pulling kid out of nativity play

174 replies

ferrisbulerisonabreak · 04/12/2018 11:19

I don't want my kid to take part in of nativity play due to religious reasons. We have decided that we will keep her home instead of sending her in on that day. I want to know how to approach the school about it and will I have to take authorised leave or unauthorised?

Please don't go off topic by saying I should be letting my child participate in it and such. We have made our decision. Whether you agree with or not is not up for discussion. Just want to know where we stand and how to approach the school with it.

OP posts:
elfer · 04/12/2018 12:06

Bit of a shame to pull your dc out in December though, should definitely have considered being less inconsiderate earlier in the year, my dc is actually today. Although it is your right surely just let your dc get on with it. I can’t understand the complete lack of want to integrate from all different walks of life.
If my dc was in a play about a different religion to my own I wouldn’t stop her. Surely it’s beneficial to see what stories are going on for all different religions/ways of life. Not too many dc who took part in a nativity play go into follow stars or worship angels...

Caprisunorange · 04/12/2018 12:10

They’ll just have them do something else won’t they? Colouring in whilst their little friends have a great time Hmm

Original poster
ferrisbulerisonabreak · 04/12/2018 12:28

To those who are saying I left it late, I already had a discussion with school when I noticed my child singing christmas songs at home and told them that we will make a decision based on the script and songs. I also had requested them not to give my child any roles. Either way they haven't assigned anything to anyone yet so that's not an issue. They gave me the script only yesterday. I don't have a problem with the songs but the references to Jesus being Son of God is against our beleif. Again, this is not up for discussion and I wont entertain anyone criticising me for it.

We don't want her to sit during the nativity play as well as 1-it's in a religious environment as in a church and 2- It wouldn't be fair on her to sit in the audience when her whole class is performing.

Good idea on requesting for something for her to do during that time. Will discuss that with the teacher.

OP posts:

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Original poster
ferrisbulerisonabreak · 04/12/2018 12:30

Jenets idea i good too. But we will see what compromise we can reach on . Cheers

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 04/12/2018 12:32

You need to be more proactive then the school shouldn'tbe saying well this is fine but that isn't if you don't want her taking part in the nativity you need to tell them it will just confuse your dc it has to be all or nothing.

MrsJayy · 04/12/2018 12:34

My post looks like I am telling you off sorry Blush

sola82 · 04/12/2018 12:37

told them that we will make a decision based on the script and songs

Why did you need to check the script? If course a nativity will talk about Jesus being God's son, that's the entire point of it! Confused

Ontopofthesunset · 04/12/2018 12:40

And if like me you're an atheist, in a nativity play they are simply acting out a fiction anyway, so in that sense it's no different from any other fiction where people say things that are not true or didn't really happen. "This is a story we tell to explain what some people believe happened at Christmas."

Though I appreciate if you have strong but differing religious views to Christianity you may not find that approach works.

Believeitornot · 04/12/2018 12:43

What are you worried about? They’ll be converted?
I don’t believe in any god but am not worried about mine doing the nativity. It’s just a load of stories which some believe are real.
Just have a quiet word wth the teacher. Easy!

CalamityJane10 · 04/12/2018 12:44

You do realise that it’s a children’s play don’t you, and not a baptism? I’m not a Hindu but I was more than happy for my DC to learn about Diwali and make sweets at school. We discuss the various beliefs at home.

Your poor DC being brought up in such a culture of ignorance.

Caprisunorange · 04/12/2018 12:46

I think you do need to find a way of dealing with this simply with the school because presumably you’ll be pulling them out of all RE lessons and assemblies also, which will take quite a lot of co-ordination on the part of the teachers

leeloo1 · 04/12/2018 12:47

Surely it's a great opportunity to start discussing "some people believe that... " which will come up often during her school career?

RavenWings · 04/12/2018 12:54

Well tbqh your child will end up sitting down the back of the rehearsal hall or another class doing busy work - no one will be teaching her. It's completely fine to pull her out, but she'll be absorbing it anyway. The rehearsal days are the main time for that and the other kids will be chatting about it among themselves.

sashh · 04/12/2018 12:55

It's a long time since I was at school but I'm sure there were things like giving out the programmes or showing people to chairs or pressing the button on the sound system.

If there isn't then a 'dentist' appointment might be better than an unauthorised absence.

Missing all of it might be quite difficult s things like making crowns / props are often both part of prep for the play and part of general education.

BluthsFrozenBananas · 04/12/2018 12:55

In my DDs class there are a few children who don’t take part in anything like a nativity play. If it’s outside of school hours they don’t go, if it’s during school hours afaik they stay in the classroom with a TA. It doesn’t need to be an unauthorised absence at all, I’m sure you’re not the first parent who has made this request and the school have a contingency plan.

olivertwistwantsmore · 04/12/2018 12:56

Have you pulled your dc out of all religious assembies and RE lessons? Is it only Christianity you don't want her catching? Are you happy for her to learn about other world religions?

Again, this is not up for discussion and I wont entertain anyone criticising me for it.

Well, you've posted on a public forum. You can't tell other people what to do...

Mookatron · 04/12/2018 12:59

There are plenty of school Christmas plays that don't talk about Jesus/God, presumably designed for today's multicultural classroom. I don't know why you're all telling her she should let her kid do it as she's been extremely clear she isn't going to - and waited to see what the play was before making a decision which I think is a fair enough approach.

Hope you work it out OP.

Caprisunorange · 04/12/2018 13:00

But it’s a nativity, not a ambiguous Christmas play, so it’s obvious what it’ll be

viques · 04/12/2018 13:00

I think you need to have a talk to the teachers about what other activities they have planned over the next few weeks because IMO you either pull out of all Christmas activities or you engage. It's not a pick and mix choose the bits you like scenario. If you don't have enough confidence in your faith to explain to your child that other people have different beliefs to yours and that taking part in something doesn't mean you subscribe to it then you pull her out of all Christmas activities, including parties.

I have taught children of many faiths and in my experience the only
Religion that sticks rigidly to its guns over Christmas non participation is The Jehovahs Witnesses. I used to suggest to JW parents that they did keep children off for party day because I would not send a child to the office to colour in or read a book when the rest of the school is knee deep in crisps, carrot sticks and party gems. Other faiths recognise that they are living in a society where although most people are unlikely to adhere to Christianity ,traditions and customs such as nativity plays , Christmas parties and Carol singing in state schools * are an accepted cultural norm.

  • and in the majority of schools this is something that only happens in the first couple of years . By year 1 most have moved on to more secular celebrations, often involving confusing diverse characters from other cultures, a variety of fairy tale characters and flipping elves.
AlexanderHamilton · 04/12/2018 13:02

You really should have told the school before this point as they will have been rehearsing for some time.

Will you also be withdrawing her from other performing arts activities involving myths or legends? Better warn the school now, after all what if they decide to do Wizard of Oz or Grimm Fairy Tales or Joseph & the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat which are all po-pular primary school shows?

BakedBeans47 · 04/12/2018 13:02

Why would you need to take her out of school? Just tell them you don’t want her taking part and I’m sure they’ll be able to place her with another class or teacher.

FaithFrank · 04/12/2018 13:02

Well, you've posted on a public forum. You can't tell other people what to do...

Neither can you oliver. If the OP does not want to discuss or defend her decision on her thread, that's up to her.

Learning about religions (which is what RE should be) is different from participating in a religious observance. IMO nativity is a Christian religious observance.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 04/12/2018 13:03

You told the school you would make a decision based on the script and songs?
Ok.

AlexanderHamilton · 04/12/2018 13:04

Wheras I see a nativity play in the same way as I would see a Mystery Play. Regardless of its origins it's now a theatrical performance. And that is the way atheist dd who is training to be a performer sees them.

PoutySprout · 04/12/2018 13:04

I hate all the religious bollocks at school and have made no secret of it. Our school only does a nativity in the foundation phase, and there are stars and other non-religious figure roles which DD has been given. She loved taking part, and I managed not to burst into flames.

A little boy was withdrawn from his class’ performance of The Wizard of Oz due to his parent’s religious beliefs. He became the stage hand in charge of props so wasn’t on stage but wasn’t left out.

There’s usually a way around it.