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Original poster

How zombie-proof is your house?

134 replies

ApocalypseNowt · 30/11/2018 17:25

It's something I wonder about quite a bit.

Say the zombie apocalypse is here. For whatever reason you can't leave your house with your bug out bag so you need to batten down the hatches and stay put. How suitable a stronghold would your house be?

I'm quietly confident about mine. It's a back to back terrace so no nasty surprises from the rear oo-er. The front yard is small but has a high wrought iron fence on top of a brick wall. Gate is high too and if i got a bike lock I think I'd be ok. If they did breach the yard windows are again quite high, some have bars on and our door is quite sturdy.

Final stand would be in the old coal cellar or the converted attic.

We have one spare room if anyone needs it btw.

OP posts:

lovetherisingsun · 30/11/2018 22:28

WHY WOULD YOU START THIS??!! (I plan this all the time...was feeling zombieapocolypse secure until the fence blew down last week)

Patroclus · 30/11/2018 22:30

Zombies are crap, I never understand why people dont just go sit in the loft or on their roof.

PickleSarnie · 30/11/2018 22:38

This is our zombie knife. Currently, in the thankful lack of zombies, used for cheese. But would definitely be my go to in the event of a zombie attack.

Ontheboardwalk · 30/11/2018 23:08

How much effort and how sharp a knife do you need to stab a zombie in the head?

I’ve always thought it seems easy in walking dead but think it’s harder in real life.

SisterOfDonFrancisco · 30/11/2018 23:11

Ground floor of a block of flats... Flimsy doors... Windows and french windows everywhere... Next to the main road...

I'm doomed.....

LBOCS2 · 30/11/2018 23:12

I always think that when they stomp on their heads and they pop like a melon. I don't think I have that sort of lower body strength.

Plaiceholder · 30/11/2018 23:23

Live rurally in northern Scotland. They'd have to come down the track or would get snagged in barbed wire. About 5-6 axes about for chopping wood to hand. All windows and doors have wooden shutters. Water from a borehole, CH & HW from wood.

I've never thought about this

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 30/11/2018 23:37

we're pretty rural, set of houses in a walled area so we'd just need to block off the drive and we'd all be pretty golden.

also our house has its own walled courtyard so we are extra safe, also dodgy steps up to front door and back gate so unless it's those WWZ super fast zombies we'd be pretty safe

PLUS the road to us runs through the farm so that would be easily
blocked
AND if we could get enough fencing we could annex ourselves off and come in and out by sea.

We have wood axes, one of my neighbours has a gun, the farmer surely would too,
apart from having to talk to the neighbours** I reckon we'd all have a lovely time.

**neighbours are all mostly lovely (quite nice at worst) we all rub along nicely when we see one another!

RumbleMum · 30/11/2018 23:43

Honestly, OP, I think we need some more zombie specifics. If they were vague and shambling I think we'd be ok with our double glazing and solid doors and all the curtains drawn, but what if they're like the triffids and hang around for weeks after they've heard a noise and use their sheer numbers to break doors down? What if they hunt in packs like the children in The Girl With All The Gifts? Will they fall apart eventually or are they undead indefinitely? Sheesh.

One of the most heated debates I've ever had with my sister is at what point you'd kill yourself if you were in a Perfect Sense-style scenario, and exactly how you'd kill yourself and your kids if you were blind and deaf and hadn't had the foresight to get a gun. We spent ages debating whether or not jumping out of our second floor window would kill you. So I NEED specifics to have a good apocalypse debate, thank you.

BruegelTheEIder · 01/12/2018 00:01

I have a 10ft fence (or higher wall) around my entire property and I live on the second floor, which is accessible only by stairs. Could easily block/destroy those stairs and just chill. So I reckon we'd be pretty comfy. We would then use a rope from the window to get up and down for supply runs.

We live in a major city though so wouldn't want to hang about for long anyway. Everyone knows it's best to head rural in a zombie apocalypse.

Patroclus · 01/12/2018 00:02

Actually I'd tempt them onto Eurostar with the promise of some cervelle de veau if they spared my flabby brain. They're mad for the brains.

kittenfun · 01/12/2018 00:02

We are in a town house
We could hide on the top floor

Norfolkenchancemate · 01/12/2018 00:09

I have a full zombie apocalypse plan in action, a bit like a normal human has a fire plan for escape, I've got shotguns and ammo, I've got a nail gun, I want a crossbow, I also want a samurai sword and obviously now I'll have to have a weed burner, I have a roof rack on my, high, vehicle, I've found a nurse, and I will fetch her from her house, I have a base in mind that is fully metal fenced in, our local Drs surgery, attached chemist so access to antibiotics etc, that I would obviously loot and stockpile, the chemist backs onto a co-op so I could use the roof access to get in the co-op, downside to this place is it's on the outskirts of a huge housing estate, so we'd have to move on before the fence gave out!!!!

saltymofo · 01/12/2018 00:16

We live in a fungalow (bad)
We have new super strength pvc double glazing though and a double-insulated roof (good)
Mr Salty is in the construction trade so we have quite a few decent power tools in the garage (good)

BruegelTheEIder · 01/12/2018 00:17

You'd also probably have to kill some people or be killed trying to loot those drugs. I think I'd just avoid high-value stuff like that if you really want to survive.

Norfolkenchancemate · 01/12/2018 00:23

@BruegelTheEIder I was planning to make that the first thing I do, so as to be looting while other people are, for instance, stuck on the M1 along with most of the population, or packing, or just running around screaming, as 'non prepped' people do!!! My granny would react to the news of an 'outbreak' by ringing my mum and saying, verbatim 'norfolks mum, can you nip me for some bread and eggs, there's a zombie thing happening and I don't want to run out'

BruegelTheEIder · 01/12/2018 00:24

Alright, good luck to you! I'm pretty sure there will be plenty of people who would make the drugs the first thing they do! But you do have a shotgun so you'd probably win anyway.

Penny1976 · 01/12/2018 00:25

We have a cottage on Anglesey we plan to head to in case of Zombie apocalypse. We always have a full tank of petrol in readiness....

Our house here is fairly sturdy but depends how resourceful the zombies are.

We will not be doing any loud group singing as in World War Z.

Witchend · 01/12/2018 00:34

I have a plastic sunflower that sings "I've a Zombie on my lawn" and a pea shooter.

There are also various spare arms hanging about the house to confuse any Zombies.

Norfolkenchancemate · 01/12/2018 02:15

@BruegelTheEIder I'm kind of hoping, based on the types residents of the housing estate, that they'd all be too busy ram raiding the local ecig shops and stealing baccy and/or 'medical' marijuana from each other to notice little old me sneaking in for the penicillin, I know a few of them would be stealing the methadone and codeine but I'd happily let them have that for the last powdered bottle of erythromycin, my kids are prone to ear infections and as we know there's nothing worse than fighting zombies, being on the run, having to learn how to shoot a crossbow AND having an earache. I'd also be grabbing any and all types of triptans as a severe migraine sufferer, id need at least a two year supply until I can figure out how to manufacture the stuff 😂

spoon19996 · 01/12/2018 02:52

I'm so happy other people think about this
We'd be screwed we're right in the middle of the street and all the houses are 2-3 bedrooms and all the houses in the street apart from one (next to me) have many children in each house (4 each) if they all turn they are coming for us. Our front garden has a very small fence and a hedge on each side that's very easy to get through. Then the back garden that fence is paper thing on both sides but luckily we have a gate to the back garden. If we stayed upstairs we could have a chance.

Did anyone watch the latest walking dead ep? I was shocked! It's actually good again for those who gave up. I highly recommend watching again but have your volume up 😛

MabelBee · 01/12/2018 06:42

Can anyone tell me how zombies react to hedges? We have hedges front and back but I was discussing this very issue with the kids about 3 weeks ago and I wasn't sure whether a horde would just push their way through.

PhilomenaButterfly · 01/12/2018 07:22

I don't think hedges are very sturdy against a horde of zombies.

PeevedOfPortishead · 01/12/2018 08:05

World war Z is tremendous. In which other film ever in cinematic history has the human race been saved by heading to Cwmbran?

MabelBee · 01/12/2018 08:56

Stupid hedges. We're doomed.

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