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Original poster

How zombie-proof is your house?

134 replies

ApocalypseNowt · 30/11/2018 17:25

It's something I wonder about quite a bit.

Say the zombie apocalypse is here. For whatever reason you can't leave your house with your bug out bag so you need to batten down the hatches and stay put. How suitable a stronghold would your house be?

I'm quietly confident about mine. It's a back to back terrace so no nasty surprises from the rear oo-er. The front yard is small but has a high wrought iron fence on top of a brick wall. Gate is high too and if i got a bike lock I think I'd be ok. If they did breach the yard windows are again quite high, some have bars on and our door is quite sturdy.

Final stand would be in the old coal cellar or the converted attic.

We have one spare room if anyone needs it btw.

OP posts:
LemonChickenThyme · 30/11/2018 19:06

Have definitely considered this. Our plan would be to go somewhere more remote as we live in a large town. DH and I have just discussed this again, we could hide out in the loft after we’ve pulled up the loft ladders but only temporarily. And, I’d never thought about the cats before. If they were outside they’d be lucky to survive, but if inside they’d come with us. DH has said we might eventually have to eat them!

HalloumiGus · 30/11/2018 19:11

We'd be fucked frankly. Too much glass. Hungry zombies would see us from every angle plus our house is so draughty every gust of wind would blow sweet scents of human flesh outside so the zombie hordes would be coming from miles around.

NameChanger22 · 30/11/2018 19:11

In World War Z (good film) the zombies can climb really high.

TheGreenDot · 30/11/2018 19:18

We could survive for a bit here I think.
Move the car to block front drive. Hedge and wall both sides at the front. Heavy curtains to block light.

The rear worries me. Only a waist high fence out in to a open field / communal area.
But it’s old raf housing so fairly isolated.

SagelyNodding · 30/11/2018 19:19

We're OK unless they are the climbing type I hadn't considered this issue! One entrance, but two sets of sturdy doors with big locks... By the time they get through that DH will be ready with his baseball bat and I will be hiding in the loft with my DC (can never get the bloody ladder down though)!

TheGreenDot · 30/11/2018 19:19

I also thought we’d block off the stair case and use the top two floors, if it came down to it.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 30/11/2018 19:22

We'd be stuffed. We have food and camping gear, but we would have to live in the loft.

Rinceoir · 30/11/2018 19:24

In WWZ the book (1000 times better than the film!) the zombies can’t climb but are persistent. I think I’d try and get as many supplies as possible upstairs then destroy stairs. Then use ladder to attic to make my escape later if needed. I’m in London though. So probably in big trouble either way!

Elfinablender · 30/11/2018 19:26

Yes but in the book they can survive under water which puts the skids on my bug out plan.

RhubarbAndCustards · 30/11/2018 19:28

Back garden - all walled so fine, but front is open. However we’ve got guns Grin. Just need to make sure DH keeps enough cartridges in stock.

ginghamstarfish · 30/11/2018 19:30

Not very much ... we are the only house for a mile in each direction so would be a target. Big gates but assume they could get through the hedge. We are thinking of buying a gun though ... (for the bastard rabbits) so would at least be armed.

PhilomenaButterfly · 30/11/2018 19:33

Ours isn't back to back but it's in a basement, how are zombies at climbing?

PhilomenaButterfly · 30/11/2018 19:35

Ooh, I'm an archer too! And I can use a musket, and a sword!

DoctorTwo · 30/11/2018 19:35

I've had a Zombie Dustbin™ for years, thanks to Stratters (?)

AFAIR it was the much loved and much missed IAmTheZombie who initiated The Dustbin. Stratters and other posters used to lift the bin lid and feed her brains and raw meat. I miss both of them Sad

I might be ok. I'm upstairs behind a locked outward opening door, so unless one of them can operate a circular saw I should be fine.

Bierss · 30/11/2018 19:36

We'd be fucked. There are 4 separate ways into my house so it would be impossible to hold them off

DontHarshMyMello · 30/11/2018 19:38

I don’t get why anyone would move into a house that is not zombie proof. Every house I have lived in has been, it’s on my list with right amount of bedrooms, parking etc Confused

BorisAndDoris · 30/11/2018 19:40

We'd be dead. Our windows are huge and they'd be through in a heartbeat. We're also ground floor so no escaping upstairs. The only possible safe-ish room would be the bathroom. Higher window. I would be able to stick a few zombies in the head to get out and run.

If we do get out however and make it to the car we could hide out at my mum's for an indefinite time. She's on a farm and paranoid about security. Lots of padlocked gates. There are also old shutters on the windows. A crowbar would break the years of paint keeping them open. Dad is a bit of a gun enthusiast too so we'd be good against invaders.

SpamChaudFroid · 30/11/2018 19:40
Original poster
ApocalypseNowt · 30/11/2018 19:40

Philomena! Or as I like to call you...my new best friend Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
ApocalypseNowt · 30/11/2018 19:42

DontHarsh - mine too. It's just common sense.

OP posts:
Aaaahfuck · 30/11/2018 19:44

My home not so much but my work pretty good. We talk about how it would be great in a 28 days later situation. Semi rural location, perimeter fence and high points to use as look out! Plus without being too outing due to the nature of the place we have some poisonous gas which I recon we could rig up as a weapon if needed. Not that I've thought about it...

PhilomenaButterfly · 30/11/2018 19:54

We've got steps down at the front, zombies' legs don't work very well, they're just animated corpses so shouldn't be able to do steps. They'd just fall down. We'd have a heap of zombie mush outside the door.

MustBeDueSomeBetterFeet · 30/11/2018 19:55

Lots of glass and French doors here unfortunately, so would need a few people to cover all the exits. I do have months' worth of food here though, so I'm happy from that perspective. We're also close to a river for fresh water and have lots of wood for the fire and logburner.

We're only about 20 steps from a dual carriageway though, and it seems to me they like to move in hordes along A roads? So could be a concern...

meow1989 · 30/11/2018 19:58

Are these zombies that can negotiate stairs? If not then we're good, our house is 3 stories, we'd just have to grab food on the run upstairs! No front garden but double glazed window and front door with 3 locky bolt things (pretty sure that's what they're called). Back door double glazed. Two cats, one of whom trapped our friends who were feeding him in the house by standing at the front door and attacking if they tried to leave. Also have loft you can only get to with ladder so as soon as we heard of the impending hoards we could stash food and water and be good.

Side note; when I was pregnant I was genuinely terrified of a zombie attack because a- I couldn't run, and b- the thought of a zombie eating through my tummy to DS made me cry. Blush

RunningFeisty · 30/11/2018 19:59

I live in a block of flats so hopefully if they do get in they won't figure out the lift!