Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you leave baby alone?

379 replies

Mississippilessly · 28/11/2018 10:10

I have agreed to go and pick up a parcel for a friend tomorrow. DS is 10 weeks. I am going to have to take my DH so someone can stay with the baby - the parcel is too big for me to take him in. This seems crazy. Could I lock the car and run in? I have only just thought of itm

OP posts:
Sunisshining5346 · 28/11/2018 21:49

This thread has turned horrific!

This is very simple!!

If you dont have a choice but to go, you pop in while your husband waits in the car with the baby.
Ask somebody to help carry the parcel out for you.
Which of course they will do.

There we go! All sorted!

m0therofdragons · 28/11/2018 22:23

@Redskyandrainbows67 we got pay at pump 3 years ago, dc are now 7 so it wasn't an option. 3 dc isn't that many Hmm

TulipsInbloom1 · 28/11/2018 22:25

Or tell your friend to fuck off. I mean honestly, who asks someone with a 10wo breastfed baby to do this sort of favour.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
EwItsAHooman · 28/11/2018 22:32

Meanwhile, in the real world where we don't tell our friends to fuck off if we expect to remain friends, this is probably a reciprocal thing? Like when I have my friends DC over one Saturday morning so she can go to the hairdressers and she does school pick up for me the following Thursday while I'm at the dentist? Give and take and not a "fuck off" in sight.

Applepudding2018 · 28/11/2018 23:23

@Mississippilessly it's nice that you wanted to be helpful to your friend but I really don't think it's necessary - I would be extremely surprised if she's not able to get the parcel redelivered ti closer to where she lives. I would honestly get back in touch with her and just suggest that she does this.

I don't think it's a good idea to leave a baby in a car on a car park. I occasionally used to leave DS asleep in the car on our drive but mostly I would just get a drink and magazine and go and sit back in car while he finished his nap as even that used to scare me. I did however leave DS in car whilst I popped into shop when he was older (Primary school).

SnuggyBuggy · 29/11/2018 06:47

I don't see why friend can't just go in a taxi to get the parcel. It's a really unreasonable thing to expect a mother of a newborn to do.

SoupDragon · 29/11/2018 07:24

It’s a case of being sensible isn’t it.

Yes, but that isn't what you were saying at all. It's more about risk assessment actually and everyone sees different risks.

Your health visitor and gp is informed of every a and e visit you do.

DS2 had to have his head glued back together twice in 3 months due to accidents. Guess what, no one did or said anything. Stop scaremongering.

HellenaHandbasket · 29/11/2018 07:30

They really aren't informed of every visit. We have had poorly kids, a broken wrist, a few bumped heads and nothing.

SpanishFly · 29/11/2018 07:39
  1. Those who say never leave a baby alone. Do you ever sleep or do you just sit staring at the cot all night?
  2. Children on a forecourt is HUGELY dangerous. Petrol, cars, people distracted and putting on seatbelts while pulling away etc etc. If a car rear-ends yours while you're putting petrol in, what are you to do? A'car rear-ends you while someone is in the passenger seat while you pay, what difference does that make? The accident happens whether an adult was present or not. What happens if the car is rear-ended while you're lifting the baby out of the car? Highly dangerous.
  3. I've never ever seen anyone dragging all their kids to pay for petrol. Never.
  4. The OP asked a very straightforward question and one of the first replies was shaming her for even asking
I remember when my DS1 was a similar age, in tears at how some people on here replied to a post of mine. Well done everyone. Mumsnet at its finest.
Redskyandrainbows67 · 29/11/2018 08:03

The health visitor and gp ARE informed of every visit. But obviously usually they don’t then choose to contact you to discuss it. Only if there’s repeated visits or concerns.

Redskyandrainbows67 · 29/11/2018 08:05

And soup maybe you ought to be being more careful if your kid has cracked his skull open twice in 3 months!!!

PattiStanger · 29/11/2018 08:22

Maybe Soup's child was at school when he had his accidents, should we all stop sending our DC to school?

I can think of 3 instances just this year at my DCs school where other children have had accidents, and that's exactly what they were - accidents.

Should the child who tripped over her own feet while running be stopped from running again, should the children who clashed heads while playing a game be stopped from going outside?

Your attitude is just plain old. What will you do when your children go to school?

bullyingadvice2017 · 29/11/2018 08:26

I would, but I'd pay for petrol too. Also I do run to the shop if I have to ( top property in terraced block and I'm 3 doors down.)

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 29/11/2018 08:54

Redsky where do you get off telling people how to parent?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mississippilessly · 29/11/2018 08:55

Thank you Spanish

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 29/11/2018 09:05

miss Clearly because she is such a wonderful parent that there is no chance her children will ever have an accident.

I assume they won’t be attending football, gymnastics, netball etc.

Or know how to assess terrible risks like entering a kitchen when potatoes are boiling.

cestlavielife · 29/11/2018 09:07

Busy depot pre Xmas you will not know how long it will take and you may need to feed or change baby so take car seat in or out in pram. Ask someone there to carry parcel to car.
Or just send dh in car if you really have to do this.

CrookedMe · 29/11/2018 09:30

Redskyandrainbows67 you are just acting like a massive dick now. It would really be best for the OP, who has admitted to having a tough time, if you just get off of your perfect parent high horse.

frogsoup · 29/11/2018 09:39

Redskyandrainbows if your children are not getting in a position where they might crack their heads open (do you never let them run around?!) you are failing them as a parent. For a start they clearly can't be getting enough exercise, and secondly the way kids learn and develop is through gradual risk-taking. When your kids are at school and finally released from their stifling home environment, they will be climbing climbing frames and similar in the playground with much less appreciation of their limits than kids who've been allowed to play like ordinary kids (ie with a risk of falling and cracking their head open).

Also, insufferable sanctimoniousness is a truly revolting personality trait. Pack it in.

EwItsAHooman · 29/11/2018 09:48

And soup maybe you ought to be being more careful if your kid has cracked his skull open twice in 3 months!!!

Out of interest, how old are your children and how many do you have?

Kids have accidents. There are a whole range of injuries that are so commonplace in childhood that they're considered to be almost a rite of passage and quite often they're the indicator of a happy, active, curious child - children who sit in front of screen all day don't tend to break their wrist falling out a tree, do they? And a majority of accidents will take place right in front of parents/carers eyes because children are autonomous beings capable of independent movement.

It is 100% impossible to remove all risks and 100% impossible to prevent all accidents. You can childproof your house and it's not a guarantee. In fact it's absolutely no guarantee as childproofing isn't designed to stop accidents, it's designed to slow the child down and hinder them long enough to give you a chance to notice what they're up to. The flip side is that too much childproofing hinders their development as they don't learn to assess risk act modify their behaviour accordingly. I put stairgates up when DS was a toddler, one at the top of the stairs and one at the bottom, five minutes after the job was completed he made it his business to run head first into the one at the bottom of the stairs.

brizzledrizzle · 29/11/2018 09:52

The only time my car had been rear ended was in a car park.

Nesssie · 29/11/2018 10:25

The only time my car has been rear ended was when I was driving...

MadMum101 · 29/11/2018 10:46

Absolute MN hysteria that people shouldn't leave DC in the car when paying for petrol. Much more dangerous to get them out on a busy forecourt and I haven't filled up at any garage where the car is not in the line of sight.

I had twins before pay at pump was invented. It would have taken 5 mins to get them out, 5 mins to strap them back in, walking with two toddlers when they could walk between moving cars, all for 30 secs inside! Madness.

OP's obvious solution is to feed before leaving and leave baby with the DH if he's too much of an arse to go on his own when his wife is probably knackered from getting up in the night to bf. Can totally understand why friend asked and OP agreed to do this one off favour to help a friend out assuming they've offered to reimburse petrol.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 29/11/2018 11:10

madmum sorry did you actually just call my DH an arse?

OP posts:
empmalswa · 29/11/2018 11:16

madmum

Hmm