Child never given a snack

[PhilomenaButterfly]

DS2 goes to basketball club after school. The letter for clubs clearly states that children should bring a healthy snack to eat beforehand. DS2 has heard this boy ask his mum for a snack and she says he doesn't need one. Twice now he's been crying because he was hungry and DS2 has given him half his snack. I don't want to give DS2 extra because I can't afford to feed an extra child every week.

Should I mention it to the mum or the school?

My children's dentist has told them not to eat snacks.

They are to stick to three meals a day as far as possible to limit acid erosion of the enamel on their teeth.

I don't suppose my dentist is the only one advocating that.

And the club's request for healthy snacks is just to ward off unhealthy ones - not to dictate that people must keep feeding their children all day.

And you are projecting it all onto another kid.

Do as you wish with yours but 45 mins after school does not an active kid make and for all you know he goes home like a large percentage of other kids and sits on his arse playing fortnite.

And he may well she dinner ready when he gets in.

My kids dinner is always good to go. I put it on the slow cooker on the morning and all inhale to do is spend ten mins cooking sone pasta.

Whtbare you assuming he has to wait hours for food. You only have to see MN to see taht practically everyone has a slow cooker or Insta pot or whatever . Precisely so our kids can eat at a sensible time and no one's cooking til 8 at night

“No you shouldn't. It's not any of your business”

He’s crying because he is hungry

“Speak to the school or club. You absolutely should raise it in case it's part of something bigger”

I would do this ^^

DD always needed a snack after school because she was a slow eater and never had enough time to eat lunch. She would be very tired and very grumpy, and really did need something to eat after school. We usually ate our evening meal at about 6.30 BTW. And for the record DD is very slim.

All the smug parents of children who always eat all of their school dinner and never snack should be mindful that not all children are the same

The smuggery on this thread is breathtaking. Has it occurred to the smuggists that some children don’t eat much at school

“I think you should but out OP. You sound very patronising”

No she doesn’t Sisgal. She sounds caring

And "active kid" " growing lad" are all excuses we tell ourselves to justify the ever increasing amount of food we throw our kids.

Truth is lifestyles these days dobt allow kids to be active.

Proper clubs that do proper training are expensive and these free after school ones are nothing like actual training or proper activity.

If our kids were what really classes as active they wouldn't be obese . And 1 in 4 are obese by yr 6.

Good has become an easy way to shut them up and entertain them

He will say he’s hungry if he isn’t if he knows your dc will share his snack!! Kids do!

^This completely

If I were to be hungry and feeling like a snack, carrot sticks would be the last thing on my mind.
In those dim and distant days of my school years,I can remember getting and eating cream buns on the way home. Yummy!

I would try to get the school to investigate, but send in extra snacks in the meantime.

there are some seriously warped ideas of what 'fuel' is needed for 45 mins playing basketball and why that would necessitate fuelling.

Portion sizes should be tiny. Very few childrens 'activities' held after school would require additional fuel.

My kids get a banana (the lucky sausages!) on the days they are going to cross country running (which is an hour straight of running) or to swim club (ploughing lengths for an hour) would they get 'a snack' for a swimming lesson where there's 10 of them taking it in turns to do widths for half an hour? Of course not, the banana is to stave them off because dinner is likely to be later the evenings they have proper activity. Would a twenty minute walk home from school necessitate a snack - of course not.

this is why we have so many fat kids, and the person with the school with very few fat kids who eat 18 meals and snacks a day? i don't believe you.

It is smug, isn't it. 'My children never snack!'

Well good for you.

I tried that with DD. She would eat constantly if she could, but she's tiny. I even took her to the doctor's about it. She needs a snack between meals. No, she will not starve, I'm not that melodramatic, but she is very low on the weight & height percentiles and she will be hungry, won't be able to concentrate and won't necessarily grow. Our GP's advice was to feed her when she is hungry (within reason, not if she's less than half an hour away from a meal). She has a very high metabolism- not high enough to be a disorder, but enough that she burns off far more calories than she could get from 3 meals flat. She's aged 3 and the average height of a 1.5-2 year old, and still fits in her first Christmas dress ffs.

Not every child is the same and no one will be harmed by simply mentioning it to the organiser/casual mention to parents if friendly.

Nisse that will only be the 2nd time a parent has fed their child that day. Hardly all day.

Giles time to get home, get coat and shoes off, dish up food, nearly 5 hours since lunch at 12.15.

The snack is neither here nor there IMO - the fact is there is a child who is regularly upset to the point of crying, which does need passing on to the club leader and then the parent. My kids always get upset much more easily when they are hungry, FWIW.

I would mention it to the school. It could be nothing. I did Abuse and Neglect training through school and we were told to report things like this because you never know what else is going on or whether the school is already watching that child, and they need as much info as possible to respond.

We are so used to over feeding kids that appropriate portions never look "enough"

This is true. School dinners are the appropriate portion size for children. We assume that they should be eating almost an adult size meal (when we all have too big a portion size anyway!).

If a child is "crying with hunger" after only 3 hours, then there is something wrong with them. This may be why the parents do not give a snack, or they may feel it unnecessary as they will soon be having dinner.

The child may have medical issues that could be made worse by eating bread that your child gives them. Or they may simply be doing the crying for sympathy. Do any of the other children share? Is yours the only one that does?

Giles I'd like to see anyone try and stop my DS2 being active! I have to enforce a 3 hour downtime after school or he can't sleep. Then he's up at 5am. Even when he's doing nothing he's constantly fidgeting. None of the other kids in his class are like it. I was watching during a sharing assembly.

azul he has no medical issues. We know the family. If my child was hungry 2 hours before dinner I'd give them something, even if it was only a banana.

Kids don’t need to snack. The teacher asks parents to bring snacks because like you, many have raised their kids to need them. This kid seems like he probably wants to eat just because others are. Suggest you tell your DS not to share his snack and see what happens. Kids who don’t get to eat at home generally don’t cry about it. They’re raised to ignore their signs of hunger. This little boy just seems to want something others have.

I have not "raised my kids to need them". I have 4 DC.

DS 28 barely eats. DD 26 probably has the occasional snack. DD 11 never has a snack. DS 7 has a snack if he's hungry and it's not too close to a meal.

So because your child can't sit still this other kid needs a snack?

DS 7 has a snack if he's hungry and it's not too close to a meal.

Well perhaps it is too close to a meal for that child? That may be why his parents don't give him a snack that could fill him up and spoil his dinner.
If you know the family that well that you know that the child doesn't have any medical conditions you know them well enough to say that they keep trying to cadge food from your son. Also if you know them that well you'll know if there are any other safeguarding issues there.
Don't assume that you know the child's full medical history!
If the school had any concerns they would already be reported.

I agree with his mum. He doesn't need a snack. He's just turning on the waterworks to get his own way.

A snack for a 45 minute club only a few hours after lunch?

I'm another parent who never bought into this snack nonsense. Children do not need constantly refuelling in between 3 decent meals a day. DD has a wrap, low salt crisps, fruit and yoghurt at 1pm. She is not hungry until tea at 5.30pm. I'm pretty sure nobody needs to make a ss referral

If the child is crying the adult taking the club will investigate. If the child is crying and the adult is not there then question why they are not being supervised. Don't report children on the say so of another child. Equally the other mother could 'report' op for giving a bread roll because she was concerned her child was overeating. Different strokes for different folks.

The thing is different kids need different things.
We had a kid whose behaviour was atrocious in the afternoon, turns out a snack(provided by school or parents) mid afternoon worked wonders. It was such a simple thing,and while not a complete angel his behaviour was much more manageable with a slice of toast or a piece of fruit.

However,that also applies to you OP. Just because your kid needs a snack (and I very well believe he might need one) , that doesn't mean that another kid will also need one and is neglected by not getting one even if they are crying. After all the club has been running for a few months and he only cried twice..which might be him having a growth spurt,not eating much at lunch, having an off day ,being tired etc.

No Giles, I'm saying that some children do need healthy snacks. I seem to be getting flamed for giving my own son snacks. DS2 doesn't have as many snacks at the weekend, as he spends more time in the house.

OP your post of 11.20 is very telling and goes a long way to explain your, quite frankly, obsession with this other child.

I'm sorry that you've clearly been left with issues over food, but you a) don't see the sizes of the school dinners (but seem to know all about them, maybe from quizzing your own child about food?) b) despite almost everyone telling you that scientifically, children don't need nearly as much food as we give them (all of us) c) fruit isn't very healthy eaten in isolation, it's sugar and tooth rot d) it's your 8 yr old's version which may be different from the truth (maybe knowing how important food is to you HE is starting to project as you do) e) there are any number of threads on here weekly with parents complaining about other parents/grandparents interfering in their children's eating habits.

Yet you insist that you're correct. By talking about YOU and YOUR children. Fine. But you need to step back from other people's. And maybe deal with your own issues.

And it's still batshit to think that what will effectively be half an hour (once clothes/arriving/organising and of course bloody snacking is done with) of basketball (at the age of 8, we're not talking about Olympic levels of energy expenditure) needs any of this intervention from either the school or another parent. The over-investment is quite worrying tbh. (As a deputy head)