Child never given a snack

[PhilomenaButterfly]

DS2 goes to basketball club after school. The letter for clubs clearly states that children should bring a healthy snack to eat beforehand. DS2 has heard this boy ask his mum for a snack and she says he doesn't need one. Twice now he's been crying because he was hungry and DS2 has given him half his snack. I don't want to give DS2 extra because I can't afford to feed an extra child every week.

Should I mention it to the mum or the school?

Or if he has a packed lunch maybe he eats his snack at lunchtime rather than wait.

I think this is almost certainly nothing, but the fact that you're concerned, and that your DC is concerned, provided you think there is a concern there - then I'd mention it to the school.

School shouldn't be requiring a snack for a club that ends at 4. The issue here is likely that one child feels like they are missing out on something that the others have, not that they are actually starving. Children that age (unless they have a medical need to eat more frequently) should be fine with three meals a day.

DD has clubs every day of the week. She doesn't have a snack for any of them. No one asked,and even if they did I wouldn't send one anyways. She finishes at 4:15 and has dinner at 5(5:20 the latest). She's not neglected or wasting away ffs.

Tbh the way OP writes it sounds luke she wants to complain because she resents the sharing rather than concern,and to make it someone else's problem. Talk to the school if you really have to. They'll have more of a picture about the kid's home life than you.

Giving my very underweight child a snack of carrots and a bread roll would have been hugely counter productive. Basically he would have lived on carbs, carrots, grapes and cucumber if we let him and in order to get him to eat a protein based meal we had to make sure he was really hungry.

I think you should but out OP. You sound very patronising

I think you are undermining the parent’s decision. How would you feel if another parent felt that what you give your child for breakfast was inadequate and allowed their child to give yours food?

If the child is crying, then the person running the group will pick up on this and deal with it. Teachers are trained to look out for signs like this and be aware of problems at home. If there is an issue you allowing your child to feed another one is masking the issue.

My 8 year old is at school 8-6 every day, including an hour of sport every day. He has breakfast at home, lunch at school and supper when we get home around 7. No snacks.

Absence of snacks does not equal neglect. Crying when others have snacks also does not equal hunger.

2 occasions Annie. DS2 says he's genuinely hungry.

I actually don't mind sticking in another roll and cutting up at extra carrot. We're on WTC though and have to be careful with money.

Re the I am worried that this boy's needs aren't being met at home comment, if my DC say they're hungry, I'll offer them something healthy unless a meal's imminent. Or DD's old enough to get something herself. I wouldn't tell a child who asked for a snack "You don't need one." Especially knowing that the next meal was nearly 2 hours away.

I also don’t provide snacks between meals. Imo snacking is an unhealthy behaviour

A snack is any kind of food that isn't a big meal, so your kids aren't allowed food between meals? Jesus.

I think you are undermining the parent’s decision

Oh FFS. There are a lot of absolutely shit / abusive / uncaring parents out there. The child is literally CRYING from hunger. I'm so sick of these "respect the parents no matter what" attitudes. If I was that poor kid I'd want someone to intervene. I'm sure you are never hungry so why's it acceptable for this kid to be?

Why would they need food between meals

Unless dinner was going to be especially late due to unforseen circumstances if you give them a decent breakfast a decent lunch and dinner is say 5/half 5 then there's no need

LIZS theirs is a "compulsory school dinners" school.

Crying from hunger? In 2/3 hours?
Give me a break

Oh FFS. There are a lot of absolutely shit / abusive / uncaring parents out there. The child is literally CRYING from hunger. I'm so sick of these "respect the parents no matter what" attitudes. If I was that poor kid I'd want someone to intervene. I'm sure you are never hungry so why's it acceptable for this kid to be?

And that is why you should have bothered to read the rest of my post!

Maybe she has dinner ready for when the club is finished? The kids I look after don't have a snack when they go to their after school club. The oldest one is 9, they get a morning snack then lunch, nothing after. School finishes at 4 then the club finishes at 5pm. Tea is served at 5.30.

I am another who doesn’t see why children need a snack for such a short club. If nothing else it wastes time that could be spent doing the activity!

None of the after school activities at ds school request, or allow, snacks. As far as I know no child has starved during that hour.

I don't "allow" it Spotting, I'm not there. It's straight after school. I pick up at 4.

School lunches aren't "decent" Giles. They don't fill a child with a healthy appetite up.

I would be well pissed off if my child was given snacks by another parent.

I also don't give mine snacks before ballet which finishes at 1730 as even a couple of carrot sticks makes her think she's hungry and not eat dinner.

Thinks she's full I mean.

Op you say you cant afford an extra snack. Maybe this childs mum also cant afford a snack. Maybe she has four other dc who are at clubs or classes til 6 or 7pm and decided they need the snack more? Maybe the kid doesnt eat after a snack. Maybe she is unaware a snack is required rather than optional.

Remember the days when we would come out of school and not be handed food straight away?

A 45 minute club that finishes at 4!? Mind your own business OP. Even my 5 year old happily makes it to a 4:30 club twice a week. Your DC doesn't have to share his snack if that's what's annoying you...

We are so used to over feeding kids that appropriate portions never look "enough"

I'm first to admit school dinners are shit quality and I wouldnt feed them to a dog half the time but the portion sizes are what they are supoosed to be.

Have they been going to the club since the start of the year? And he only cried twice? Maybe he just didn't like/eat the lunch those days and he indeed doesn't need one.