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Original poster

Child never given a snack

184 replies

PhilomenaButterfly · 24/11/2018 15:50

DS2 goes to basketball club after school. The letter for clubs clearly states that children should bring a healthy snack to eat beforehand. DS2 has heard this boy ask his mum for a snack and she says he doesn't need one. Twice now he's been crying because he was hungry and DS2 has given him half his snack. I don't want to give DS2 extra because I can't afford to feed an extra child every week.

Should I mention it to the mum or the school?

OP posts:
Original poster
PhilomenaButterfly · 24/11/2018 18:30

nk I'm not there. DS2's giving them to him, because he doesn't like seeing his friend crying.

Tulips I know the family. They have far more money than us. They have a daughter who doesn't do any clubs.

I remember the days when I wasn't allowed snacks between meals and was always hungry. We weren't poor, I just wasn't allowed.

OP posts:
TheFaerieQueene · 24/11/2018 18:33

I did ballet after school a few times a week and didn’t have a snack. I don’t ever remember having snacks as a child.

MedicinalGin · 24/11/2018 18:34

I have to say, sometimes I give my kids snacks but usually they are able to last until we get home at about half fourish- it does seem a massive storm in a teacup op. Previous posters are absolutely right I think- school staff are all trained in what to look out for with regard to child neglect. If the child was howling like you allege and they were concerned, it would have been escalated already. I really don’t think you need to be involved at all, with the best will in he world, it’s not really your business to be bringing extra food in for other people’s children.

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shouldwestayorshouldwego · 24/11/2018 18:34

We eat quite late. A snack at 3 means they might be hungry again by 5 then want another snack. I don't withhold snacks but remembering to take a snack if they want one is something I think a 7/8yr old can start to take some responsibility for remembering. I know that he won't actually starve between when he has his school lunch and when I collect him. I know that even if he has a snack before his activity he will still ask for his usual snack later. I know that if he eats just before he exercises he is more likely to get cramp. I know that he is a perfect weight for his height and so he is getting the right calories. IF there is more to it and thus boy seems really underweight, invite him over for tea, get to know him a bit better then maybe but on this alone - nope not a problem. awaits invite for ds and tries to remember to tell him not to cry and go begging if he forgets to bring a snack

BatF1nk · 24/11/2018 18:53

I'd be packing him a picnic probably Grin but that's just me

Put in a banana and a cheese roll or whatever for him.

RebelWitchFace · 24/11/2018 18:56

The thing is you might think you are doing a kind thing,but you have no idea of allergies,intolerances or dietary needs they might have.
Better to approach the school/coach.

missyB1 · 24/11/2018 19:08

I hope those of you insisting that children should only be allowed to eat 3 times a day are making sure your kids get all their recommended portions of fruit and veg into those 3 meals. Even the NHS eat well advice page suggests that mid morning and in the way home from school are a good opportunity to offer a fruit or veg snack. Remember 5 a day is the minimum we need to aim for, preferably it would be more.

Aurea · 24/11/2018 19:16

My kids never have snacks and one is now 17 and 6'4" . He eats very well at mealtimes though and he has a proper appetite.

Sirzy · 24/11/2018 19:24

I actually think giving food as soon as a child says “I’m hungry” risks a much unhealthier way of eating that saying “no you don’t need a snack right now”

We have a culture of constantly eating and that isn’t healthy

Original poster
PhilomenaButterfly · 24/11/2018 19:27

shouldwe he was asking his mum for a snack and she refused, I don't think he would have been allowed to get his own.

OP posts:
keepingbees · 24/11/2018 19:41

If he's 7/8 then he might not be getting a school meal, it cuts off at key stage 2 doesn't it? Unless the child is entitled to free school meals. In which case, he might not be getting much lunch possibly?

Orlande · 24/11/2018 19:46

My 8 year old does an after school club that finishes at 4.15. A whole 4 hours after lunch!

He does not get a snack Grin

If I'd said no to a snack and another parent decided to interfere I would be livid.

Runnynosehunny · 24/11/2018 19:57

Those of you who wouldn't allow snacks, wouldn't it make you feel bad if the child was so upset another child felt they had to share their own food with them?

Wednesdaypig · 24/11/2018 20:00

Our school finishes at 3.30 then clubs start after that. Only once have I seen a parent arrive at home time and shove a banana through the window. Her child was very embarrassed! No one else gives it a thought. Many children arrive in school having had no breakfast and that will be over 15 hours with no food. They are hungry by lunchtime but no one gets hysterical over it. Not ideal but as the parents say, they can't force them to eat.
Regarding the size of the lunches, they should be of the correct size. There is normally bread available to supplement big eaters and our children can fill up their plates from the salad bar if they are particularly hungry. I would have said plenty to last until tea-time.
Don't share snacks! You know nothing of allergies, diabetes etc

Gileswithachainsaw · 24/11/2018 20:09

runny

I'd feel far worse about instilling bad habits and contributing to the ever increasing amount of overweight children than I would about my child being upset about not being allowed to follow the sheep of kids who have to eat every 2 hours.

I'd tell my kid to get a grip and apologise to the other child for stealing his or her food.

CherryPavlova · 24/11/2018 20:14

Children don’t need to snack constantly. It’s possible his parents also hold that view and want him to just eat at mealtimes.

ReverseTheFerret · 24/11/2018 20:16

Mine will wail every week after their dancing lesson that they're absolutely starving hungry and NEED something from the tuck shop. They're not for anyone eavesdropping looking for a chance to be indignant - they've usually had a snack coming out of school (they only get these when they're going to a straight after school club - otherwise they tend to have dinner fairly early in the evening) and they're going to have a 5 minute car journey home to where their meal will have been cooked and waiting for them by DH.

KimchiLaLa · 24/11/2018 20:20

I think it's a point that the OP is making, and I agree she shouldn't be obligated to feed another child. Op I would just make an offhand comment to the mum. Nothing serious. "They get so ravenous don't they! Nice that XX has been sharing a snack with my boy though." She will get the message and it's her decision whether she gives a snack to him from there, and will likely tell her kid to stop asking for food.

missyB1 · 24/11/2018 20:22

Some of you would keel over in horror at the amount my ds and his friends eat at school.
Morning break - fruit and a biscuit or buttered cracker
Lunch - hot meal for everyone, fruit and yogurt, twice a week hot pudding with custard.
Afternoon snack (4.15pm) - fruit and cake or bun.
He gets home at 5.30 and dinner is around 7pm. Hardly any overweight kids in the school. They play sport every day though, and are outside a lot.

Cachailleacha · 24/11/2018 20:23

I hope those of you insisting that children should only be allowed to eat 3 times a day are making sure your kids get all their recommended portions of fruit and veg into those 3 meals.
Easily. Usually two with breakfast and three with dinner.

RebelWitchFace · 24/11/2018 20:24

@Runnynosehunny nope. I'd be a bit cross at her for causing such drama that another kid felt so compelled to feed her.
She has breakfast,fruit and milk in the morning,school dinner and then dinner at 5. If truly ravenous she can have dome fruit when we get home.She wouldn't be wasting away.

Cheesycheesytwist · 24/11/2018 20:31

Blimey, mini your own business OP, if you know he asked his parent and they refused why on earth do you feel you should get extra for your son to share? I snack after school for a club that finishes at 4 is unnecessary I think and I wouldn't provide one either, and would be pissed off if another parent judged me to be in the wrong and overruled me!

Original poster
PhilomenaButterfly · 24/11/2018 20:34

keeping it's compulsory school meals at their school, but they're woefully small, and DS2 would eat much more at home.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 24/11/2018 20:39

I always wondered why kids like Daniel Pelka got missed

Oh my God, mind your own business!
Blimey, mini your own business

I'm beginning to see why.

There's a child that's upset and the answer is to look away and ignore it. Perhaps he's just playing up to get carrots of his mate, or she says no so he'll eat his tea. But this whole attitude of not my kid so I don't care is why so many parents get away with abuse.

OP I'd mention it to the group leader or to the Mum that your son has been sharing as theirs was quite upset and hungry and you do hope it hasn't ruined their dinner

Gileswithachainsaw · 24/11/2018 20:40

Oh fgs talk about dramatic. He has a school lunch and dinner when he gets back. He's not passed out and running marathons in scraps from the floor.

It's 45 fuckimg minutes

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