Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

The postman just took a piss on my gatepost!

111 replies

AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 13:33

I'm sure he did. Shock what else would he have been stood up against the gatepost like that for? I was right there in the kitchen window too and he knew it!

WTF?

I didn't even get an interview when I applied for a postperson job yet they will employ someone who pisses on gateposts?! I mean... I doubt that's an interview question but still.

It was not my usual postman.

No point to this thread... just a bit Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:34

Where the fuck did I say I was going to report my phone is in the boot or glove box when I drive. Do people stop and actually get out of their cars to check their phones? He'd literally just been out if the van delivering my mail. The next house is about 1 minutes drive away. Checking phone does seem unlikely to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:37

Ugh. My post got all mixed up. Where did I say I was going to report him? I'm not upset or anything. Just kind of Shock. Thought it was a funny thing. Obviously not.

OP posts:
Juells · 23/11/2018 14:37

Years ago where I lived, the house next door had timber cladding on the front. Every single morning without fail I saw the postman putting letter in the door (which was at the side) then as he came up the drive he'd scoot around the front corner and piss on the timber cladding. That corner was all rotting. As it happened the woman there was very snotty so I never bothered telling her.

4nonblondes · 23/11/2018 14:39

Just go out and see if there is a puddle and then you'll know.

Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:41

I've been out. It was inconclusive because of the nature of the location.

OP posts:
happypoobum · 23/11/2018 14:42

But penguin did you get right down on your hands and knees and really sniff it?

Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:46

No I did not. I took the spaniel out with me. He did piss on the gatepost.

OP posts:
ChardonnaysPrettySister · 23/11/2018 14:46

OP, I can send in an expert.

One of my dogs always marks on top where someone else has weed. If he wees, then the postman must have done it too.

Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:46

The spaniel I mean. The postman is obviously inconclusive.

OP posts:
ChardonnaysPrettySister · 23/11/2018 14:47

Ah!

There you go!

Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:47

Grin crosspost with PrettySister

OP posts:
Heartofglass21 · 23/11/2018 14:49

Was he making eye contact with you as he emptied his bladder? That would be really creepy. If you live in a rural location, there must be dozens of less obvious places to take a piss. If you are 100% sure he was urinating against your gatepost, report him.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 23/11/2018 14:49

You clearly have called in the experts.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 23/11/2018 14:49

Was he making eye contact with you as he emptied his bladder?

My dogs do that.

IveHitPeakTumeric · 23/11/2018 14:50

This is the sort of thread mumsnet was made for.

SorryBaby · 23/11/2018 14:51

Complain to the Post Office, before he decides it's ok, nobody miss, and uses it as his regular pissoir!

Why would you complain the the Post Office? They don't work for the Post Office!!

It would be like complaining to Sainsbury's about a Tesco employee 🤔

spanishwife · 23/11/2018 14:51

I think you're going to need to let it go this time unless you have solid proof - why risk his job over a strange hunch?

If you thought something odd was happening you should have marched out there like 'helloooo???'

There might have been a cute cat or something that he was watching...

CisMyArse · 23/11/2018 14:53

I believe you OP.
If he delivered to your door at that time, it's credible that he was using your post to prop or lean his bag against it, but given that this wasn't the case, he had no real reason to stop, other than do pee.

I know what you mean about the stance, the stillness and then the length of time to pee.

Is your house in a rural area?

CisMyArse · 23/11/2018 14:55

*have a pee
Not do pee I sound about 3

MissConductUS · 23/11/2018 14:57

Setup a CCTV camera on the gate, disguised as a squirrel or something. Then you'll have solid evidence the next time.

KlutzyDraconequus · 23/11/2018 14:57

He wasn't urinating, he was scratching secret postman marks into your gate post. Some symbols mean "Fit woman" some mean "rabid dog" and others mean "offers handjobs at Christmas in exchange for a book of stamps"

Nah not really..

I'm taking the piss..

Puzzledandpissedoff · 23/11/2018 14:59

I know what you mean about the stance, the stillness and then the length of time to pee

Also the position of his hands. If he was fiddling with his phone, vape or whatever they'd probably have been in view or at least obviously moving

If on the other hand he was controlling his massive wild beast wang to avoid a sock drenching, they'd be held lower and motionless (except perhaps for a shaking motion at the end)

I think an expert in these matters should be able to tell the difference ...

MaMisled · 23/11/2018 15:01

I wonder if thats my postman. Last year, i was walking my dogs and they barked at him (little fluffy terrier crossbreeds ). I shushed them and apologised but he started marking barking noises right at them in a very unfriendly way. I was miffed and said that wouldnt stop them but had it made him feel better...or something like that. Walked on a tiny way, looked back and hes brazenly pissing against a gatepost (which was last house along, next to a dirt track) while looking at me and holding my gaze! So intimidating!

Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 15:01

Very rural. The next nearest house is 1/3rd of a mile and our small cluster of houses is 3 miles from the next small cluster of houses.

It's just a wooden gatepost under the trees, it's green with algae anyway. It's probably cleaner for a bit of postman piss.

I'm not going to complain and was never planning to.

OP posts:
ItWasntMeItWasIm · 23/11/2018 15:01

offers handjobs at Christmas in exchange for a book of stamps

Grin

I believe you OP. It sounds like he thought he was hidden. What else is he supposed to do - not many public loos around rurally.