Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

The postman just took a piss on my gatepost!

111 replies

AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 13:33

I'm sure he did. Shock what else would he have been stood up against the gatepost like that for? I was right there in the kitchen window too and he knew it!

WTF?

I didn't even get an interview when I applied for a postperson job yet they will employ someone who pisses on gateposts?! I mean... I doubt that's an interview question but still.

It was not my usual postman.

No point to this thread... just a bit Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:12

And no I didn't "stand and watch" I was making a cup of tea by the kitchen window. When he stopped the van after reversing off the drive I looked up as it was unexpected... thought he might have forgotten a bit of post or something... then I was a bit like "what's he doing? Oh god... really? Yes I think he is... wow ok" and then I went away from the window so I wasn't staring at him. I think he thought he was out of view behind the trees. He wasn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:12

Did I say I was going to complain? FFS.

OP posts:
TheQueef · 23/11/2018 14:13

Is this your postman?

The postman just took a piss on my gatepost!
BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 23/11/2018 14:15

What a weird conclusion to leap to.
Man gets out of vehicle and stands in one place for a while. Must be pissing on my gatepost. Or any other of a trillion more logical possibilities.
I think on reflection OP, he really wasn't.

Hushnownobodycares · 23/11/2018 14:15

Photo or it didn't happen.

Hushnownobodycares · 23/11/2018 14:16

TheQueef Grin Grin

Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:17

Why would he get out of his van to check his phone or sort his mail? Stretching a leg cramp maybe I could go with that.

Come on its not such a massive leap... we all know the furtive pee stance. Including leaving the van door open as a shield.

OP posts:
AdamNichol · 23/11/2018 14:18

Texting, Facebook, untangling headphones, trying to see an address in better light, cigarette, assembling a vape thing...the list of things other than peeing is pretty extensive; and I'm assuming you couldn't see what (if) he was holding - as that'd kind of give you your answer

Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:18

What's the million other possibilities? Stretching a leg cramp is the only viable one I've seen so far.

OP posts:
Onecutefox · 23/11/2018 14:19

Don't they own a bottle in their van like Amazon guys?

I think that at that time he got a message on his phone and he stopped to read it or send a reply.

in the mean time I would invest in that anti-piss paint. He will never do it again Grin.

paige789 · 23/11/2018 14:20

Unless you saw his penis and wee actually coming out then how can you be so sure ?

Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:20

Yes. When I want to send a text I often stop my car having just started driving and get out and stand facing a gate post to do it.

OP posts:
Onecutefox · 23/11/2018 14:22

Why would he get out of his van to check his phone or sort his mail? Stretching a leg cramp maybe I could go with that.

Come on its not such a massive leap... we all know the furtive pee stance. Including leaving the van door open as a shield.

What if he was masturbating actually?

Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:22

I'm not so sure. I'm just saying what I saw. And to me it looked like he was peeing.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 23/11/2018 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cel982 · 23/11/2018 14:23

He's unlikely to get out of his van to untangle headphones or check Facebook, isn't he? Hmm He probably was peeing, it's hardly that unusual. Last week I saw a man nip into an alleyway between two houses opposite us and pee against a wall. Broad daylight, on a busy suburban road. It's a bit grim, but maybe he really had to go.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 23/11/2018 14:23

Why do you want it to be true?

Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:23

Bit too quick for that I'd have thought Onecutefox. Now if I'd said that was what he was doing that would have been a leap!

OP posts:
happypoobum · 23/11/2018 14:28

Yes. When I want to send a text I often stop my car having just started driving and get out and stand facing a gate post to do it.

Well surely that is exactly what you would do? Confused

OP are you someone who uses their mobile whilst in control of a car?If you had seen him even touch his phone whilst reversing off your drive, now that would have been a sackable offence.

I think it is highly likely that rather than turn the engine off,he jumped out, checked his phone/texted, then jumped back in again. That is what I would do in that situation to be honest.

Lovemusic33 · 23/11/2018 14:29

Do not report him, you don’t know for sure what he was doing. Postman work very hard this time of year, even if he did piss on your gate post does it really matter?

Chutneyorchids · 23/11/2018 14:29

Maybe he was adjusting himself :)

Onecutefox · 23/11/2018 14:29

The postman must be a Weed Murderer!!! There must be some weeds growing under your gate, OP?!

8 Reasons Why You Should Pee on the gatepost in Your Garden

  1. Urine as Fertilizer
  2. Soil Enhancer
  3. Compost Accelerator
  4. Weed Murderer
  5. Fungus Fighter
  6. High-Carbon-Soil Balancer
  7. Animal Deterrent
  8. Deer Defense

www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/8-reasons-why-you-should-pee-your-garden.html

Original poster
AutisticPenguin · 23/11/2018 14:30

Thank you Cel982 for seeing the possibility that I'm not making stuff up. I don't see peeing as such a distinct improbability as everyone else... clearly. I don't desperately want it to be true or anything. I just thought I might share the Shock but obviously that's not the done thing. My bad.

OP posts:
viques · 23/11/2018 14:30

I think you should tell him you are happy for him to knock and use your toilet next time he is caught short.

If he did wee it lets him know you saw him, so he will be more discreet in future if he does more al fresco peeing.

If he didn't then he can tell you he didn't, and you can move on.

If he did wee it lets him know that you know but you are are a nice person so he won't drop your post in the mud.

Must be horrendous to be desperate for a wee in this weather, I know the cold goes straight to my bladder and wreaks havoc.

Onecutefox · 23/11/2018 14:34

Oh, you can't tell him about the wee if you didn't see him doing that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread