Are you happy?

[Thisnamechanger]

I don't know if this is something you ever really ask people in RL.

Are you happy?

No, and never will be truly again but that is perfectly normal with my history and my family estrangement.

I do get moments of contentment (feeling grateful for a warm house, food in the cupboard and when DC are all home safe at the end of the day) and joy regarding my DC doing or saying stuff and seeing something beautiful in nature/changing seasons.

I'm fine with that and think myself lucky that I have the capacity to feel even that. I could be much worse and a lifetime of unhappiness has given me an empathy that I possibly wouldn't have had otherwise.

It's interesting how (and this isn't a criticism at all, just an observation!) quite a lot of people have stated their answer and immediately qualified it with a description of their situation and/or list of the things they have/haven't got.

I suppose I should have phrased my question a bit differently...what I meant more is 'how's your mood'?

I do of course understand that not having enough money to feed/clothe yourself would be a massive influence on mood but hopefully you see what I'm getting at!

I have a 4 week old beautiful baby and feel like I should be happy. I'm not happy or sad really. I'm just, meh..

Yes I am- I have anxiety and worries about things but generally I feel very lucky at the moment. I try to keep my anxiety in check and manage most days...

and feel like I should be happy

I feel like this might be causing a lot of unhappiness in itself - feeling guilty about feeling blue when you have "nothing to complain about" or "others have it worse" etc.

chicken do you think there's any disparity there? For example you said in a previous post you're happy because all you needs are catered for (paraphrasing) and then said your mood is "fine". Do you think there's a potential mismatch between:
Having all needs met being called 'happy'
And actually feeling just 'fine'.

Aware that might make NO sense and have probably phrased it badly.

I suppose I'm getting at whether we as a society have knee jerk reaction that happiness = met needs not good mood?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Not constantly happy or sad. More up than down though.

Do people not spend at least a bit of every day miserable, though? Even the happy ones?

I'm one of life's happy people. Exceptionally so. I don't know if this is a combination of my outlook on life, which has lead to always landing on my feet etc or if it's a combination of factors but I suspect it started with a naturally optimistic and sunny disposition.

I'm rarely miserable or down in the dumps. I rarely feel anything other than gratitude and contentment.

The only thing I felt negatively about in my life was getting older, and that life was passing me by so quickly and I couldn't hold on to it. So I slowed the fuck down and started meditating, being present. I no longer fear getting older, I'm embrace it.

I truly see my life as a gift and I'm so grateful for it.

I'm rarely miserable or down in the dumps. I rarely feel anything other than gratitude and contentment

I've only ever felt like that when I was addicted to benzos!

The word "should" is such a miserable, negative word that sucks the joy out of anything. It's all about obligation and guilt. I can't think of it being used in a happy context.

My mood and general happiness level aren't particularly connected. Mood is superficial. I can struggle with the dull, greyness of winter, and can get weeks where my general motivation and mood are low, but I'm still content about the big picture. I know the evenings will lengthen out, the sunshine will return and the snowdrops will lead to crocuses, which will lead to daffodills which lead to cherry blossom. Maybe that's hope and the impermanence at play. Moods can be fleeting, I can be very irritated with a DC, tell them off (cross) then comfort and soothe them and laugh with them in minutes.

Meeting basic needs for safety and comfort is important. After that point, it is difficult to identify when is "enough" in an ambitious "hard working" consumerist society. I think we get bombarded with a very simplistic vision of what "happiness" is. Many of the things that genuinely bring joy to us are of low commercial value. It's difficult to pause and actually step aside from the pace of modern life. It's easy to be sucked into a mentality where everything has to be busy or purposeful and it's not a happy, healthy long term lifestyle if our brains and bodies don't unwind enough.

Very eloquently put another

Many of the things that genuinely bring joy to us are of low commercial value

What brings you joy?

Your conscience has to be totally clear to be truly happy. If you’re living with guilt & regret ( about things that can never be put right ) then you’ll never be ‘at peace’ / or truly happy / content.

But if the op is just talking about ‘mood’ well that comes & goes by the hour.
Some people are by nature optimists while others are miserable no matter what.

Not really. I'm not where I thought I'd be in life. But if you met me you would think I'm the most outgoing, funny, confident person.

I am mostly content with life.
Mood wise a bit mixed atm as I am a bit poorly but good because the doctor has signed me off for two weeks so I don't have to struggle at work.(bit of a suprise as I was just expecting stringer painkillers).
Life though has improved immeasurably in general over the last few years.

Yes I am, despite everything and despite my situation.