Are you happy?

[Thisnamechanger]

I don't know if this is something you ever really ask people in RL.

Are you happy?

Not really. There is much in my life that's good but there's been so much of the really difficult 'big' stuff in the last ten years and it's been relentless (near death experiences for all three of us, job-loss, debt, property loss, infertility, depression... it's gone on and on). We're still renting and can't see an end to it even though my husband owns a property- it's complicated. We've virtually no savings either. And now, the latest: it seems as if I might have MS and I'm awaiting a neurological assessment. I feel so ill. I've spent years attempting my best PollyAnna impression but frankly feel I've nothing left to give. I know I have much to be thankful for but man I'm worn down with having so much to deal with.

Me too about being as happy as the unhappiest child. I'd got them both almost through their teens and bang one has bipolar and bpd.

I am early 50's and genuinely believed at this age I would be able to say I'm happy. This age has been, without s shadow of doubt, the worst thing I've ever dealt with.

I met someone after a long time and I adore him. My health is good and I have a good job.

My DD's illness has taken the joy out of my life. Today was horrendous.

I keep trying to remain optimistic but I don't feel optimistic. I think things are going to get worse.

Apologies for doom and gloom.

On the surface yes, dcs are good, I'm fit & healthy, we can afford a comfortable life but things get me down eg, missing my dad every day even although he died 13 years ago, temperamental OH = walking on egg shells, lack of patience as I get older means I'm frustrated more easily, won't tolerate annoying people, I see myself distancing myself from friends whom I don't have so much enjoyment in their company any longer.

Some days just suck tbh. Work stress, I no longer watch the news, it's gets me down.

I'm also a worrier esp about dcs future.

Misty I loved your post!

Yes.
Paradoxically I suffer with anxiety and depression, burst into tears daily as a minimum and have suicidal thoughts pop into my head regularly. I’m combatting all that by noticing and focusing on the good. It’s taken years, and inhuman effort, but I’m winning (despite the above) and on balance I’d describe myself as happy (if broken!)

Sage my heart goes out to you. That's a very tough time.

I spent nearly 50 years of my life unhappy until I got a good doctor and a good combination of anti depressants and now I am happy every day. I am never going to stop taking them.

Sleep thats phenomenal. I take my hat off to you. You are one courageous lady.

No, but I have so much in my life to be grateful for. I’m still immensely unhappy a lot of the time and have dealt with so many crappy things in the past few years including a head injury and post concussion syndrome, mental breakdown, drug induced involuntary movement disorder, ectopic pregnancy, my brother dying of cancer aged 35, losing my job and the prospect of my chronic neurological condition never getting better, and impacting my future job and career prospects.

Sorry for such a depressing post... on the surface I have two amazing and beautiful children, a good home, wonderful husband and supportive family, but underneath I am really sad, often suicidal at times, and just want to sob a lot at the unfairness of lots of things in my life.

But then I pick myself up everyday and carry on, because I have to and the alternative is.,, well, there isn’t one.

Yes. I'm happy.

For years I wasn't. Abusive marriage, 3 children under 2, depression, drinking too much, self loathing.

I got rid of the husband, got my children through some tough times and gave up the booze totally 5 years ago.

Although 2 of my DC are disabled, they are happy and give me so much joy. Together we are strong. I love my life.

Next question.

AlecT - I’m happy, and I actively challenge inequality. I don’t think being happy makes you oblivious to anything that’s wrong in the world. I’m naturally a very content, positive person but that doesn’t mean I’m devoid of empathy

I may even have written some sad angsty poetry in my teens! I must admit I’ve never invented anything though. (Have you?)

Yes. I’m so lucky and have everything I ever wanted.

Though we have aging parents just around the corner and a bunch of kids to get through life happily so the rug could be pulled from under us at any moment. I’m aware of that. But feel lucky to have had 37 exceptionally happy years so far.

I’m mostly happy. Far happier than I have been in the past. I am surrounded by people I love and have money to be able to feed us without worry.
I find it hard to compartmentalise but I am getting better at it. Though I tend to worry and get upset about tiny things and not relish the good things. Im having a bit of a tough time at work at the moment but I’m hopeful these times will pass and I have a good team around me.

No. I can have sparks of happiness when my kids make me laugh but a lot of the time I feel like crying. I hide it well at work and I enjoy my job but at home the constant stress with my son’s school refusal and my DH’s arsey behaviour make life a constant struggle. I do not like myself much as a person either.

Apologies for doom and gloom

Don't, honestly. That's sort of the point. Loads of people seem to be in various stages of misery and no one talks about it. Except on "world mental health day" and the like when everyone tweets "it's okay not to be okay" but if you actually told a colleague or aquaintence (or good forbid, your boss!) you were feeling unhappy they'd probably look at you like you'd grown an extra head.

O

No. Even.

They do say misery loves company...  to you all.

And thanks @LakeIsle48

Yes. I am now.

A few years ago I was in the depths of despair that I never thought I would crawl out of.

It can turn around quick.

2016 - worst year of my life
2018 - amazing.

Yes.
I spent 15 years being unhappy and have now come out the other side. It has meant making decisions which haven't made others happy....but I am not responsible for other peoples happiness.
My needs come first now, even before those of my ( adult) children.

Not at all

It changes on a daily basis.

Right now, I'm mostly happy with work and have a great relationship with my child.

Relationship with husband, not so great and that makes me very unhappy.

very Happy in my relationship but not with all aspects of my life. I a have mental illness so that's the reason for my unhappiness!