DH has man flu. Do I have to organise a proper burial for him, or can I just plant him under the patio?

[FuckKnuckle]

I can just about bear the exaggerated coughing and sniffing, and the little groany noises when he has to get up out of his chair. I can even grit my teeth and put up with the little puffing noises he makes when he's breathing (oh, god, the breathing...) But I have to admit, when he went out of the room just now muttering to himself in a little voice that I was obviously supposed to hear "Tell me I'll feel better soon..." I nearly battered him to death with the remote control.

He's usually a wonderful husband, but let him get a whiff of a cold virus and he turns into Camille. Is this a common thing, or am I just unlucky?

DH gets the sneezes
He sneezes
And sneezes
And sneezes
And sneezes
And sneezes
And sneezes
And sneezes
And sneezes

By the end my "bless you" s have a distinct air of "oh fucking shut up" about them

Who is Camille?

Other than that, you have my sympathies

Just bury him in his dressing gown of doom - it'll save on a shroud.

Is he wearing the dressing gown/blanket of doom?

Get cross post

Oh, yes! DH almost always sneezes three times. And I'm sure, when he does, there are people in the next village saying, "Did you hear something?" I may be saying, "bless you,", but I'm thinking, "Jesus christ..."

But if I don't say, "Bless you," he'll say, "Aatchoo...AATCHOO...AAAAATCHOOOOO..." louder and louder until I do bless him, just to shut him up.

My charmer like to show his snotty, phlegmy tissues
“Does this look normal?”

Who the fuck do you think I am Florence nightingale?! bin that shit you nasty bastard

ltb

My charmer like to show his snotty, phlegmy tissues
“Does this look normal?”

Mine did that, until he realised I didn't mean it when I looked shocked and asked "How long has it been like that?"

Man-flu is a patio job. For public health, obviously. It's so important to not spread the infection.

He's managed to crawl into some disreputable jeans and a T-shirt that's more holy than righteousness today, but yes, the dressing gown of doom has featured heavily the last couple of days. And it reeks. I really need to herd it into the washing machine when he's not looking.

Camille was a film starring Greta Garbo; she died beautifully of tuberculosis at the end.

does he do the old man shuffle while groaning softly?

it's the SNIFFING that itis getting me. Use a fucking tissue

NBA’s he got “poorly voice” too?

Has*

Oh god yes! Collapsing on the sofa like a Victorian consumptive.

Lady of the camiles, she died of consumption and someone wrote a book and an opera about her.

@Pristine and @Don'tDribble - oh, god, that's rank. He hasn't done that yet, although he does have a tendency to make a substandard job of wiping his nose so I have to keep reminding him to do it again. It's not attractive.

Should I immerse his corpse in quicklime first? You know, just to contain any spread?

I married a nurse. There is no manflu. However, I got an enormous bollocking for ignoring cellulitis, so the universe is still in balance.

Always the poorly voice. If he can muster a rasp to convince me how bad his throat is, so much the better.

Are you strong enough to throw him off a bridge

I always used to run around after my dh when he had flu, buying tissues and night nurse etc.. until one day i was really full of a cold and he told me to ‘man up’

Now i don't even ask if hes okay

Posted too soon. Patio, obvs. Put that Jeyes powder on him to confuse the sniffer dogs.

I would don a surgical mask and spray antibacterial into the air every time he sneezed

A Viking burial. It’s the only way to avoid the plague spreading.

@Disgrace - do you mean the powder for smelly dustbins? I have some of that!

Winter is coming, leave him in the garden for small fluffy mammals to feed on. Better than the poor things starving, surely.