I’ve just birthed a fossilised tampon...what do I do?!

[MedicinalGin]

Hello.
I’m so embarrassed about this. Have had loads of weird discharge for the past few days and was getting really worried- suddenly this happened. I feel quite well and everything but could I now have an infection or something? It must have been in there for two weeks.

Do I just presume I will now be fine or should I seek official advice (seriously hoping I don’t have to).

Excuse me while I now go and 🤢

steak you may benefit from exploring those feelings about your body. Is it sex or reproducing? You seem very bleugh at the things a female body does for reproduction. I knew a person who was repulsed by the idea of pregnancy and it extended to sex, periods etc.

Also if those issues really are bothering you and impacting on day to day life the mirena could when I had one stopped the obvious ovulation discharge as well as lightening my periods.

Are there men out there who insist on freshly douched vag before sex?

Yes, a dude I knew called Kevin. He said it tastes better and I should try it. I offered him a glass of water for after.

thanks raven mum, that means alot

Thinking about the cleaning your vagina chat, would it follow that if you can clean your microwave quickly and easily by putting a lemon in it for a bit, then perhaps your vagina might benefit from a lemony pessary?

namechange I read it too and thought also it could have happened to me.

I’ve had sex with a tampon in before by accident. After I realised I asked dp and he said “I never would have thought you’d manage to forget such a basic thing!”

And worst, I was writhing around telling him how big his dick felt. Oh the shame.

thanks shirley.

phew.

My gay friends put me off using a shower hose in hotels as they unscrew them and shove them up their bums to clean the area before sex.

I.had.no.idea. My life will never be the same! Having said that, a lot of men enjoy anal stimulation during vaginal sexual intercourse or oral or manual sex.

the mirena could when I had one stopped the obvious ovulation discharge as well as lightening my periods.

Can't imagine someone who has issues about their reproductive organs going for a foreign body inserted into their cervix. The other issue is that 15% of users do not experience lightened or no periods with it, quite the opposite, and if she's not needing it for birth control, seems a bit of a non issue.

How do these men not feel a tampon or mooncup? . DH could feel the strings of that fecking Mirena, even after they'd cut the strings (and told me to have more sex to make them curl up. Didn't work, the bastard things kept poking him. He's well-endowed, though).

I've just assumed it was because of my mountain deep sweet valley high

Reading this I'm starting to think I must have an unnaturally long vagina. I mean, they must come in different lengths too, right? :)

Yes, vaginas do some in different lengths!

my midwife certainly thought i did

How has everyone missed Consuelabananahammock's "good polish with a j cloth and some t cunt" comment?

Answer to your OP: bin it.

The language some people use to describe their bodies is disturbing!

Slime? Discharge?

Why not just throw some talc up there then pack your vagina with medical gauze to get everything dry, fragrant and unsexy as possible.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Do midwives chat over their teabreak about the length of our vaginas?

Reading this I'm starting to think I must have an unnaturally long vagina.

Well the position of your cervix changes throughout your cycle. Sometimes it is really high and hard and I find difficult to reach. Other times it’s really low and soft.

When my vagina grows teeth and eats cheese and pickle sandwiches, then I'll shove a brush and mouthwash up it

And

*any unfortunate people that for whatever reason have the misfortune of entering it.

I'll have a sign made for over my bed.

'Abandon hope all ye who enter here.'*

I cannot remember the last time I couldn't breathe for laughing.
I'm so glad I clicked on this thread

I certainly hope my midwife always talks about mine, everyday of her career. Continues the pass on the legend of the deepest vagina she’d ever seen. After 5 days of contractions, with a baby who had her cord wrapped round her neck twice and her chin up , my vagina masterfully birthed my daughter without any scratch or tear. I want songs written about it! Wonderful vagina!

@VisitorsEntrance did you pick that name just for this thread or is that a happy coincidence?

Of course they talk about it! Why wouldn't they? When I had DS they were amazed at the amount of liquor amnii that came out and got the mop and bucket.

How DO you wash up there? It’s not a straight pipe. It goes back doesn’t it?!
So that rules out firing a hose up.. and it’s not got a big wide on - waiting patiently to accept the flow of water (I presume)
Are you actually PUTTING the hose end in?? How are you not dead?

I am totally calling my next small pet rodent Sootikin.

piningforthefjords 🤣

Once I was soooooo tired I put in a lil let tampon still in the plastic wrapper.

I realised shortly afterwards but that was a dark day.

To the poster who said that calling it 'discharge' means you feel icky about your body, nah - it's a fair enough term for what occasionally comes out, just as the occasional bleeding gets the unsexy term 'spotting'

If there's a more body positive term for that egg white-y liquid that sometimes finds its way on to your knickers, do tell

The main thing is to not see it as gross or off-putting, I just view it as my vag doing its business and I don't need to interfere with it!