I’ve just birthed a fossilised tampon...what do I do?!

[MedicinalGin]

Hello.
I’m so embarrassed about this. Have had loads of weird discharge for the past few days and was getting really worried- suddenly this happened. I feel quite well and everything but could I now have an infection or something? It must have been in there for two weeks.

Do I just presume I will now be fine or should I seek official advice (seriously hoping I don’t have to).

Excuse me while I now go and 🤢

Utter filth but if that's how you like it it's between you and your vaginas and possibly any unfortunate people that for whatever reason have the misfortune of entering it.

That has to be satire. Utter filth is generally the reason people go near my vagina.

Conseula - hosed down and pine fresh, who wouldn’t want a ride in that?!

Those who wash inside their foofs. Do you do the same with your rectums? Pissholes? Nostrils? Right into your eardrums?

Slatterns the lot of you.
I have dynorod in one a fortnight to give all the pipes a good blasting.

Having read this thread, I may wash out my eyes.

“Good luck to all your self-cleaning vaginas”

Washing inside the vagina after sex (using a douche) used to be seen as a birth control method

With Coke nods

at xoflora

I do wonder whether some people just really don't understand their own bits. There are quite a lot of people who call their vulva their vagina- so when they say they wash inside their vagina, do they actually mean they're washing inside their lips & actually just washing their vulva?

poshme that was asked hours ago, do keep up

Sometimes, if I have a visitor coming, I like to give it a quick once over with the Dyson.

Now I know who's haunting the women's health aisle at Boots stocking up on Ural and Femfresh, it's the people in this thread who power-wash inside their vaginas

You trust your body to digest your food, take in air & heal itself when you have a cut or break a bone - why can't your vagina, particularly designed, to keep itself lubricated and well? It won't smell like Radox but it's not meant to!

On the back of this thread, I decided to check my vagina warranty. Much to my dismay, it went out of date ages ago! This explains so much - off to the shops tomorrow morning, I guess. This was an expense I could have done without, and so close to Christmas.

Is sootikin real? Why oh why did I google it.

I should know by now after reading a thread and googling dragon butter 🤦🏽‍♀️

Please, someone, nominate this thread for Classics. Is like theatre of the absurd!

I’ve nominated it @fire - it’s truly brilliant 😆

I wash my bum and my outer bits only, I don't go caving with a headlamp on in the shower.
If I so much as waft anything scented near my bits I get thrush for 6 months so water only, no washing anything inside
Never had any complaints

With Coke nods - fucking A!

I suppose if it cleans brass, it’d polish your foof up good and proper.

...and killeverything any swimmers.

I dunno about a coke smelling minge, mind. Would Lilt or Fanta work just as well?

I’ve had this too, it was removed by my GP, the tampon was upside down, I now check everyone and in the 9 years since this happened I have found one other in the wrong way round in the tube.Tampax weren’t interested when I told them.

@allthegoodusernameshavegone - you check EVERYONE? I’m kinda relieved I don’t know you 😀.

Do you also sluice up the bum as well?

Do not go on a bum sex thread! Apparently it's common enough to give yourself an enema before knowingly going into an anal sex sesh. You can also buy cream to anaesthetise the area prior to entry.

Oh, yeah, douche as birth control! Nothing like it for washing sperm higher up your reproductive tract to do its business!

I was so prepared for a reaction after my post. almost a little worried. hence the name change.

But no. completely ignored

I shall take that as a vote of confidence . thanks!

Yes re anal sex. My gay friends put me off using a shower hose in hotels as they unscrew them and shove them up their bums to clean the area before sex.

Vlad and Steak you make me sad with your shame-filled attitude to your vags. I quite like mine.

YY to washing the vulva (not for two mins though!) but no need to stick fingers up there and sluice about!

namechange - Read it, thought it could have happened to me, nodded, read the next post :)