DD assaulted in primary school

[UpsetAngryFurious]

Yesterday DD's headteacher called me in because a boy in her class had stuck his hand down her trousers (witnessed by other children. I was told that on further questioning my DD reported that it wasn't the first time. She's said that it's been happening almost daily but she was too scared to tell and didn't want to get in trouble. Obviously I'm devastated for her but I'm also angry. Has someone who's been in a similar position got any advice of steps to take? Thanks

Sorry nothing to add but I would be furious. Serious action needs to be taken.

Been in a similar situation. I'd be demanding a meeting with the head and senior staff. Ideally you want him to be moved school - but don't be surprised if the school suggest your DD does.

I hugely sympathise, I have no words to express how sad your post makes me feel.

You should contact the police too, something to do immediately.

Phone your local authority, OFSTED , the police and the NSPCC xx big hugs OP xx

Can police help? Both children are 6yo. I'd assumed they couldn't because of the age. Thanks

My sympathies, what an awful situation to be in.

I was researching bullying at school and legal rights and came across this site:

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/bullying/

This gives advice about legal obligations and rights regarding incidents at school eg when and if to go to the police.

Wishing your DD the best .

Children under the age of ten cannot be prosecuted for a criminal offence because they are below the age of criminality.

But please do ring NSPCC on0808 800 5000– they are open 24hours a day, 7days a week . Hope they can help.

I would say there needs to be further safeguarding investigstion- to establish if any other DC have been affected and what has been going on to trigger this child doing this.
School need to be putting in place support for you and DD. It is important she feels able to talk about things and ask any questions and you need to be supported to manage this and your own emotions that have resulted. Seek independent advice eg from NSPCC about what school should be offering and escalate matters if they do not do this.

Similar incidents happened to my daughter at school and I was furious too. It's a serious issue and should trigger the school's safeguarding procedure immediately which will involve social services being contacted. Children who do this are likely to have experienced abuse themselves so it will need to be investigated.

Report the incidents to the headteacher (follow up in writing too) and ask what steps they will be taking to protect your daughter. I was unhappy with my daughter's school initially as incidents continued after reporting and I was not informed what steps were being put in place. A complaint to the governors made a difference there.

I had lots of chats with DD about what to do if it happened, like saying no loudly, knocking the other child's hand out of the way and pushing them off, telling the teacher etc. Thankfully it's stopped now and my daughter seems to be unaffected by it.

Everything in writing/ by email. Follow up every phone call and conversation with a summary email.
So sorry this has happened.
It is worryingly common and a serious safeguarding issue.
Who knows where the other child learned the behaviour.

It is peer on peer abuse. Point this out to school, tell them that they need to follow their safeguarding training on this area- using its correct title.
Ask to see the safeguarding policy and ask how they will be following this. If in doubt, inform them that you have concerns about their capacity to keep your child safe- follow up in writing to head and chair of govs.

Since the boy is 6 it is a safeguarding rather than police matter. There should be a thorough investigation about what has happened.

I think school need to work out why the boy did it - don’t agree with the poster who says “the boy needs to move school.” This isn’t normal behaviour. The school have a duty of care to both the victim(s) and the perpetrator. Involving police? Seriously?!! No - school should be involving Social services and possibly psychologists.

The Head teacher already knows as it was him/her who informed the OP. There is a process to be followed but the OP won't necessarily know what is happening to the other child..

The school need to take this seriously and calling social services. I would worry what makes the boy think this is normal too

The schools safeguarding ream will be involved and probably social services will want to talk to the boy and possibly his parents in case the trigger was abuse outside of school. However the more likely cause is curiosity, often triggered by access to non age appropriate information eg older sibling and whilst it is serious it needs to be kept within proportion. Ed psyche/camhs may be needed to help him, unlikely to move schools and the police won't be involved unless he is a victim of abuse.

Can we not start demonising a six year old as an abuser? There is a chance this child is a victim himself.

The important thing now is that A, the school are aware, and that B, they informed the OP, so they are obviously taking it seriously.!!
They now need to follow their safeguarding procedures in order to establish the facts, and to put support in place for both children.

With regards to the OP, the school need to work with her to ensure her dd is safe. With regards to the other child, the OP will not have the right to any info there as he’s a minor.

Calling the police etc is for safety, a 6 year old boy repeatedly putting his hands down your DDs pants rings alarm bells about what he's seeing at home and what's going on there. That will be a big part of the investigation.

Sensible conversation about how they will prevent any repeat is all that's required on your part. The school will deal with this. What a shame your dd didn't say anything the first time.

I can't help but feel for a six year old boy who may be at risk at home where he shoukd be safest.

You are perfectly entitled to know what safeguarding steps are being taken, although not anything specific about the boy.
At 6 its very difficult to say if this is just a little boy playing awkwardly and being totally unaware or him acting on things happening to him.
I would like to think SS would be contacted and someone experienced could speak to all the children involved and get a full and correct view of what has been happening.
You also need to know how the school intend on keeping this boy away from your DD and ensure they are never together without adult supervision. This may cause the school some problems as lunch times etc will be difficult but I would absolutely expect them to agree to this otherwise they are not taking their safeguarding duties seriously.
Maybe get your DD some independent counselling, might seem a bit ott currently but sometimes things like this can cause problems later if not dealt with at the time.

Well did the headteacher say what they were doing about it?

No point whatsoever contacting Ofsted imo.

You potentially need:

• advice for how to discuss with your DD and let her open up - so NSPCC would be good for this (and school if pastoral care is good)

• to know from the school their policy on dealing with this. They won't be able to tell you what actions they can take with the boy but should be able to tell you policy. I personally would expect their policy to include contacting your local SS, as 'sexualised behaviour' at this age could well indicate issues at home (anything from being abused himself down to being allowed to watch age inappropriate viewing)

• to know how they are going to keep your DD and all other children safe. So dependent on where these incidents were taking place (e.g. toilets, behind a hedge at playtime, whatever) then 1-1 supervision of the child at free play times, making areas out of bounds, TA stands outside toilets when he is in there or whatever.

• I would also expect some urgent work around the PANTS rule across all of infants.

Moving the school for the boy is unrealistic, as although it keeps your DD safe, it just 'moves' the problem to other children elsewhere.

A 6 year old boy needs guidance and help himself, not to be ostracised, whilst of course keeping your DD and all others safe.

Well did the headteacher say what they were doing about it?
As other people have said, there is only so much that the Head can tell you i.e. they should tell you what they are doing to prevent this happening again but can't tell you what course of action they are taking with the boy other than, maybe, kept in a playtime for a while. Any contact with the boy's parents or Social Services etc. will be confidential.

Inappopriate sexual behaviour will be recorded (like in the 'bad mark book' for racist incidents .)

I apologise for the light hearted comment at the end but it's interesting how some people bay for blood if their child is the victim but object to their own child experiencing the consequences of their actions.

It will be taken seriously, it's called peer-on-peer abuse (so sorry to use the abuse word I know it's not a nice one) and is a huge safeguarding issue. Hopefully the school will be taking it very seriously and will be able to report to the correct channels.

Hope you are okay, my child is a similar age and I just can't imagine.