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Original poster

DP has spent an hour trying to collect 5 yr old from a play date

343 replies

Eastie77 · 17/11/2018 19:46

I'm at a loss. DD is 5 years old and went to a play date at a friends house today. DP went to pick her up at 6:30pm. Her friend only lives 5 minutes away so I've been wondering where he got too. He just turned up, his voice shaking saying he "cannot remove her" from her friends house, she is running around their sofa laughing, refusing to put her shoes on and will not come home. He left the house without her as he "couldn't take it anymore" after spending nearly an hour chasing around after herConfused

I am in bed ill with DS who is also ill and he expected me to get dressed and go and get her! I have sent him back to fetch her and he has angrily left the house. I reminded him that he is a GROWN man surely capable of picking up a 5 year old child, putting her over his shoulder and walking out of the house?!! I feel like I'm in some kind of parallel universe here.

I'm friends with the play dates mother but god knows what she must be thinking..

OP posts:
Orlande · 18/11/2018 10:26

My 4 year old would definitely go wild at 6.30 at the end of an exciting play date he didn't want to leave if no adults were stopping him. 5 is still little, and they still get tired and hyped up and silly.

Original poster
Eastie77 · 18/11/2018 11:07

I guess all kids are different userme. I'm fairly sure there are things DD wouldn't do but I can't say she 100% definitely "wouldn't do such and such" under certain circumstances if an adult wasn't stopping her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eastie77 · 18/11/2018 11:08

Didn't see your reply Orlande but yes, I agree.

OP posts:

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BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 18/11/2018 11:15

I'm amused by references to The Look and The Voice.
I'm imagining the OP counting to 3, sitting in a big red swivel chair.

RunSweatLaughAndLatte · 18/11/2018 11:23

Some people being harsh. My son never listens to me either and it's exhausting! Not to mention embarrassing, especially when you know people are silently judging you

Karwomannghia · 18/11/2018 11:26

He could do what my sis does and say I’ll be there in 5 can you get shoes on and send them out when I beep? (Joking last time she did that dneohew didn’t get shoes on so I sent him out in socks holding them).

I have to admit this was one of the things I found most difficult. Either hiding or tantrumming when time to go home. I started to warn them before what I expected at pick up time and that they wouldn’t go again if they did it again. Also have a big incentive to go home.

UserMe18 · 18/11/2018 12:03

No honestly my children would never act like that and if they did it would be the last time! But then they get firm discipline from the both of us.

UserMe18 · 18/11/2018 12:08

And we're not talking about just being upset to go, but to defiantly run away and hide for an hour, I can absolutely say with confidence they wouldn't do that.

Notquiterichenough · 18/11/2018 12:39

Honestly never had this problem with mine, but I was also strict with boundaries at that age.

In fact, my mum used to complain in one breath that I was too strict, and then say, literally in the same sentence, that she didn't understand why my two were so well behaved when my sister's two were "wild".

I remember a party when DS1 was four, when my niece and nephew refused to sit with the other children for the tea, and then refused to leave at the end. My sister and bil just stood there looking looking lost, and saying that they didn't know what to do, as they ran riot around the leisure centre.

It wasn't a question of judging them, it was frankly annoying, as I was hosting, wanted to clear up and go home for a cup of tea, and it was my DS's party which they were spoiling.

Original poster
Eastie77 · 18/11/2018 12:52

I'm not disagreeing with you User. I'm sure you can say with certainty that your children wouldn't do this or that. I'm simply saying that I can't say the same when DD is not with me. I think like many 5 year olds she can be unpredictable and whilst I know exactly how I would control a given situation I can't predict the outcome when the adults present do not exert any authority.

She gave me her version of events this morning. Apparently DP told her they were leaving but then agreed she could stay for 10 more minutes and put an alarm on his mobile so she would know when to go. When the alarm went he agreed to another 10 minutesHmm Then one of the play date friends grabbed his mobile and began running around the sofa. DD joined in as she thought it was all a joke.

OP posts:
Sarahrellyboo1987 · 18/11/2018 13:01

She’d be in big trouble if she was mine! A few minutes of cheerful messing around is one thing...expected almost. But, little madam is just being naughty.
I would have shouted at her and picked her up.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 18/11/2018 13:03

Just seen your update OP. Sounds like DP was inconsistent with his expectations.
Of course kids muck around - that’s nature. But after a while you need to be a parent.

Micke · 18/11/2018 13:26

You haven't lived until you've carried a flailing child out of their mate's home over your shoulder with them yelling about how unfair it is and how much they hate you.

At least she's only 5. It's a lot harder as they get bigger!

Twatforahat · 18/11/2018 13:32

What a wet blanket. My DH wouldn’t dare come home empty handed without a child(?!). He must be ashamed today.

PiperPublickOccurrences · 18/11/2018 13:36

You haven't lived until you've carried a flailing child out of their mate's home over your shoulder with them yelling about how unfair it is and how much they hate you.

Oh yes. Have done this. Also have been the parent furiously climbing up the playframe at soft play to drag my reluctant 4 year old off.

donajimena · 18/11/2018 13:42

This reminds me of a guy I was seeing. We'd had a lovely day out with his daughter and upon return she jumped into the front seat of the car. She was 7. Cue him meekly asking her to move.. she refused and he said 'oh I tried' so I spent the journey home in the backseat like Queen Elizabeth..

bullyingadvice2017 · 18/11/2018 13:43

I have been the other mum. When that kid was 5 I knew it was going to be downhill from there. She's 15 now. Completely rules the house. Is a massive pita and mum and dad still cater to every whim.
I wouldn't even be negotiating with a 5 year old doing that. And they would only try it once!

Pumpkintopf · 18/11/2018 14:00

Your dh thinks his parenting is fine and hates advice but returned home without his child after failing to remove her from a play date and was then 'drained' when sent back to retrieve her?!

Ok... Hmm

ohfourfoxache · 18/11/2018 14:10

He sounds like a complete dickhead

Skybird · 18/11/2018 14:17

He sounds like a complete dickhead

😂😂😂

NopeNi · 18/11/2018 14:51

Sounds like he might not have been telling you the whole truth. Was he just enjoying a coffee and a chat maybe?

DobbinsVeil · 18/11/2018 15:00

I wonder what happened when the running around started. Was he chasing her Benny Hill style?

WipsGlitter · 18/11/2018 15:46

I stopped allowing DS going on play dates because of behaviour like this. It was utterly humiliating to have another parent watch you failing to control your child. He has my sympathy.

naicepineapple · 18/11/2018 15:50

Seriously? If your small child doesn't want to leave somewhere when they have to then they get a warning that they'll be carried out, if they still don't then they're carried out.

How on Earth was your husband given the run around for an hour by a 5yo? How embarrassing. He really needs to learn some parenting strategies.

Original poster
Eastie77 · 18/11/2018 17:37

Don't think they were chatting over coffee. I spoke to the host mum today over lunch and she confirmed her child grabbed DP's mobile and they were all running around the sofa and in and out of rooms. When DP gave up and left apparently DD sat down and laughed hysterically with her DC. It was all a joke to the DC and neither her nor DP were able to control the situation due to exhaustionConfused

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