Help me I am trapped in waitrose

[StealthPolarBear]

Can't find my way out, the only stairs I can see go to a car park
Ah well

It is my second home, so I may well see you. Most of the staff know every member of my family by name.

No the St Austell ASDA is not my local. I only popped in a few weeks ago when passing, it’s not an experience I wish to repeat. It was so big it scared me. I only needed firelighters.

Festival that is pretty much a nightmare I've had. What did you do

Waitrose in Windsor was the first Waitrose I was ever in. I was a little disappointed as I expected it to be bigger. But they did have Caramac ice creams.

I got lost in Woking train station once

I wisely decided to follow a group of 6-8 year olds on a school trip thinking they'd surely be lead out by a very sensible teacher.

But they didn't. They were dragged around drawing trains and I looked like a right weirdo following a bunch of small children and their teacher

Yes it is like a reverse tardis, huge on the outside but when you get in its not that big and the cafe is three tables. But then where I'm from we don't have waitrose so I should stop whining.

All these people with an ikea obsession.
I’m going to be literally next to an Ikea tomorrow. I’m half tempted to go in. Or is it madness for an Ikea virgin to venture in for the first time on a Sunday?

I get lost in John Lewis in Reading every time I go in there, every time. I a.ways use the same set of doors so I can try and make mental notes to get back. Nope, always get lost.

Paper Ikea is usually madness on a weekend. You need to hitch your britches up and act like you know what you're doing. Nothing makes a more experienced Ikea visitor more enraged than a novice who dawdles

John Lewis in West Quay Southampton is also another place I get lost in. And as for the scary glass lifts there...not good for people like me with a fear of heights

Paper you may be okay if you go in first thing or last thing, but do follow Whirly's advice.

Waitrose Blaby is tiny but cute.
Waitrose Peterborough is mahoosive & I couldn't find the crisps.
Waitrose Lincoln is the right size.

Selfridges in Birmingham we always get lost trying to find the way out.
And M&S in Meadowhall can be a bit trying.
However M&S in Fosse Park is lovely & everything makes sense. Though did usually lose DD in there, she'd hide under the clothing racks!

70isa that's cause Debenhams on Argyle St is a labyrinth!

Paper Don't go to Ikea on a Sunday! Just don't. You'll never be allowed to leave! (Go on a weekday instead)

But you see Whirly and Tracey, I don’t know what to do. It would only be small items I’d be getting, so can I just take off the shelves, put in the trolley and pay and pack at the till? Or are there any different customs to normal shops, eg not packing at the till like Aldi and Lidl? Do all these foreign stores have their own foreign rules that we Brits need to learn???

so can I just take off the shelves, put in the trolley and pay and pack at the till?

There'll be a half-mile queue for the till!

If I get lost in a big Next, Gerda, I have no hope in Ikea!
Returning on a weekday does seem more sensible.

Any store that provides you with a map should not be attempted on their busiest day!

I used to feel quite panicked if I lost sight of the exit in Oxford circus top shop.

I don't now. I cured myself by not going there any longer.

I've always found Ikea ok on Sunday afternoons, but find I've spent 50 quid on stuff I don't need,

Which Ikea is it? Someone may be able to offer you tailored advice.

That is a great idea for a business. Guide in IKEA a mix between personal shopper and Sherpa.
Loved the short story.

@santaispolishinghissleigh I get lost in the MetroCentre full stop.

My Waitrose is on Level 7 too! I shop there quite infrequently though, so I get confused and stressed every time I realise I've got to work out what floor I'm looking for.

@Toddlerteaplease I bow to your taste

Birmingham (actually Wednesbury), TheyProbablyWill