Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flatmate hasnt been back for weeks. Again.

114 replies

PayingGuests · 16/11/2018 11:35

I spoke about her on here months ago. We get on very well but its clear she has MH issues although i dont prey and shes joked about them but not gone into detail. Ive lived in the flat for ten years its cheap for London my property is up north but no i wont be moving back for at least ten years. Im happy here.

My fm has always paid her half through student loans. She found it hard to get up and go to her practical placements and from what i gleaned she was given support. Anyway, twice she failed her final exams and twice she dissapeared but came back. If she wanted she couldve worked on the ward as a lesser grade and then gone onto the new nursing assistant course. It was a good opportunity if she didnt pass her finals . She went to get her results two months ago and failed which is very unusual so i dont know if there was something else going on with uni. The texts have been sporadic and i have guessed that she must be in a unit msybe close to where she is from. The first month she paid the rent. This month she hasnt. I dont want to keep nagging her as shes clearly ill but i dont know what to do. Im really poor the rent and bills all come out of my account im left with afew quid. She owes me £540. I could get another flat mate in seconds as she has a great room. I cant get in it as its in turmoil all her stuff is in therebless her all her life is in there really. However i cant do this.

She text never even said sorry just said if i can get the contract rewritten to include her name she will ćlaim from benefits. How long does that take is it even a thing anymore? Shes not even here to sign the contract which is why she isnt on it in the first place. Obviously im not going to get behind with the rent but i cant go on its xmas soon.

Any advice? She lives miles away and would need a van.

OP posts:
PayingGuests · 16/11/2018 20:22

Can anyone help me word a text i dont want to come accross as a tyrant but i cant worry about how im going to get to work either.

OP posts:
DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 16/11/2018 20:34

Can you find her family? If she's been sectioned, she may not have capacity. As for her stuff, phone her and tell her you'll put it into storage for a month, get a new flatmate (there's no way of getting the money back) and after that she's on her own.

VelociraptorRex · 16/11/2018 20:35

Can you maybe phone her rather than text her? Ask her how she's doing and if she needs anything? And then if she's going to be back? I can see it's difficult if she has MH issues but if she's not paying the rent I'm afraid she needs to sort something else out, maybe stay with family.

Lockheart · 16/11/2018 20:35

What does the contract say about recovery of rent arrears? Does she have a guarantor you could recover the rent from? If she's a student they usually have guarantors, or at least they did when I was a student.

Would your landlord insurance cover it if your tenant is unwell? (I have no idea if it would, but just a thought).

PayingGuests · 16/11/2018 20:51

Shes not on the contract when it came up for renewal she was away then and this is the third time be the longest. She asked to be put in the bills as she needed id and the contract is due again in Jan so we were waiting til then. The landlord has known me for many years and quite honestly, as long as the rent get paid on time they dont get involved. London is very transient.

She doesnt answer the phone. I dont really understand MH as much as inshould. Could failing exams get you sectioned three times in six months?

I cant afford storage theres her new laptop and printer and everything in the room. I cant even put it anywhere.

OP posts:
mylightbulbmoment · 16/11/2018 20:53

So you're illegally sub-letting her room?

PayingGuests · 16/11/2018 21:02

In what way? She wasnt around when the contract came up so yes only mine on.

I just want to know what i can do with her things or if she now goes on the contract wherecwill that leave her if she wants to clsim benefit and how long does it take?

OP posts:
Doghorsechicken · 16/11/2018 21:02

Can you get in touch with a family member and give them her stuff? Then you’re free to get a new flat mate. It’s harsh but it’s not up to you to cover her shortcomings.

PayingGuests · 16/11/2018 21:04

Even if she does want to put a claim in she would have to be here to sign a new contract. I dont see how it can work cos i dont know where she is.

OP posts:
PayingGuests · 16/11/2018 21:07

I honestly dont know her family. I could kick myself as last time when she ended up locking herself away i promised myself id get the parents number.

OP posts:
MrsAmaretto · 16/11/2018 21:07

Text her asking her to phone you or get a family member to phone you if she is unable to.

You need to be honest with her when you do speak to her “no I’m not willing to have you on the contract as you are behind in the rent and I’m not willing to risk loosing my tenancy or being liable for your debt”.

You assume she has MH issues, you don’t actually know as despite disappearing twice before she had never had the decency to inform you. There is no way you should get into a legal agreement with someone who does this, regardless of their reasons. Are you willing to risk your tenancy?

Do you have contact details for her family? Could you contact her university and ask them to pass on a message to her family?

VelociraptorRex · 16/11/2018 21:11

Can you find her (and by extension her family/close friends) on social media? Get a message to her hat way?

PayingGuests · 16/11/2018 21:30

I know sge has issues as ive picked her pills up for her but i dont know if i want to live with someone that can just dissappear its too stressful. Its a fine line because of course people can come and go as they please but, we went to the gym and watched telly together so its not like we werent kind of friends. If she comes back not able to work i just dont know if i can take that on. She found it hard enough to get up and go in last time when she was getting paid.

Im not going to risk my tennancy its a good deal for London because ive lived here so long. Rent hardly goes up. It all comes out of my account on payday whether shes on the tenancy or not.

Im recovering in from surgery myself so cant do overtime for three months otherwise it wouldnt be so bad.

OP posts:
PayingGuests · 16/11/2018 21:31

My keyboard keeps sticking. Sorry.

OP posts:
Lockheart · 16/11/2018 22:43

If you're not the landlord then there's nothing you can legally do as a tenant. If it's a joint and several contract then all tenants are liable for all the rent (e.g. if one person defaulted in a house share of 4 then the other 3 would still have to pay the rent).

You need to speak to the landlord ASAP. They might be happy to just have your part of the rent for now. But only they can take steps to evict her and legally recover their property (which would include removing her stuff one way or another).

There is nothing you can do, other than perhaps keep texting her.

MintyCedric · 17/11/2018 07:14

Am I right in thinking that you are the tenant, and your flatmate is basically your lodger, with the blessing of your landlord?

First of all, I'd be inclined to explain the situation to your landlord just so they are aware if it takes a white to sort out and paying the rent gets trickier. It sound like you've been a reliable and responsible tenant for many years so they may be willing to be a bit flexible with the rent or be able to help with storage so you can get a new lodger asap.

Contact your flatmates university or workplace - they should have some kind of pastoral team/HR who will have next of kin details - and explain the situation to them. They can then ask NOK to contact you.

Call Shelter for advice. They are really good on all sorts of housing matters not just 'stereotypical ' homelessness. Website here.

Hope you manage to get it sorted soon.

mysteryfairy · 17/11/2018 07:35

It reads like the situation is you are the sole tenant liable for all the rent to the landlord and you have taken in a lodger. This may or may not be permitted in your tenancy agreement but seeing as your landlord is aware doesn’t feel like that itself will be an issue.

I think you need to serve the reasonable notice required in law to your lodger. At the end of the period you will have to pack and store her things (maybe in your room) and find another lodger.

Maybe get this thread moved to legal for further opinions though.

PayingGuests · 17/11/2018 08:51

London is transient and sometimes people come and for reasons leave after 3 months sometimes or sometimes two years, my landlord doesn’t want to
Be adding and taking off names every time they prefer it to be a yearly thing. Ive always been the point of call. The rent money comes out of my account as soon as I get paid I’ve no intentions of letting that slip, if anything I just want her stuff gone so I can get someone in. It’s a shame though.

OP posts:
TheFaerieQueene · 17/11/2018 08:59

Can you bag up her things and put them into a storage facility. I know that is an additional expense, but it would enable you to let out her room - it being empty is a much bigger expense. I’m pretty sure those storage companies work on a month by month basis.
It is very sad she is unwell but you need to make sure you aren’t in financial difficulties because of this.

Singlenotsingle · 17/11/2018 09:03

Mysteryfairy is right in her assessment of the situation, except it's going to be difficult to serve notice if you don't know where the girl is. Is she not on FB? Has she got relatives there?

PayingGuests · 17/11/2018 09:07

No she’s not on Facebook. I can’t get in touch with uni as she has failed and finished the course.

OP posts:
ILoveAutum · 17/11/2018 09:10

You’re doing the right thing keeping the flat solely in your name.

As harsh as it is, she isn’t your responsibility. Send her a text saying you are storing her stuff for one month then it’s going to a charity. Tell her she has two weeks to come and pack it herself or you’ll do it as you need to rent the room out. She will have to sort it or get family to sort it.

In a fortnight pack up er stuff into boxes, put them in the lounge or whatever and get a new flat mate. Explain the boxes will be gone soon.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 17/11/2018 09:16

Apologies if I missed it, but does she have any form of written contract with anyone?

PayingGuests · 17/11/2018 09:24

No she wasn’t here when the date came and after a couple of weeks it was easier to sign it myself. She’s on the bills.

OP posts:
Gonzoo · 17/11/2018 09:26

Bag it all up and put it in storage for a month. After that it's not your problem. You need to get someone else in but next time I'd be more formal about the arrangement and have them as your lodger.

Swipe left for the next trending thread