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Original poster

Flatmate hasnt been back for weeks. Again.

114 replies

PayingGuests · 16/11/2018 11:35

I spoke about her on here months ago. We get on very well but its clear she has MH issues although i dont prey and shes joked about them but not gone into detail. Ive lived in the flat for ten years its cheap for London my property is up north but no i wont be moving back for at least ten years. Im happy here.

My fm has always paid her half through student loans. She found it hard to get up and go to her practical placements and from what i gleaned she was given support. Anyway, twice she failed her final exams and twice she dissapeared but came back. If she wanted she couldve worked on the ward as a lesser grade and then gone onto the new nursing assistant course. It was a good opportunity if she didnt pass her finals . She went to get her results two months ago and failed which is very unusual so i dont know if there was something else going on with uni. The texts have been sporadic and i have guessed that she must be in a unit msybe close to where she is from. The first month she paid the rent. This month she hasnt. I dont want to keep nagging her as shes clearly ill but i dont know what to do. Im really poor the rent and bills all come out of my account im left with afew quid. She owes me £540. I could get another flat mate in seconds as she has a great room. I cant get in it as its in turmoil all her stuff is in therebless her all her life is in there really. However i cant do this.

She text never even said sorry just said if i can get the contract rewritten to include her name she will ćlaim from benefits. How long does that take is it even a thing anymore? Shes not even here to sign the contract which is why she isnt on it in the first place. Obviously im not going to get behind with the rent but i cant go on its xmas soon.

Any advice? She lives miles away and would need a van.

OP posts:
LIZS · 18/11/2018 12:51

Is there no paperwork with her previous address lying around? If she has been away for 3 months she can't need most of her stuff immediately, however you cannot dispose of her things. Box it up and await collection.

crosstalk · 18/11/2018 13:01

Seconding advertising on SpareRoom.

Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 15:25

I feel really sad. Her dads driving down to pick her stuff up. He said he thought social services were dealing with it all and that he’d had to get a loan out for the past two months to pay the rent.

I’m really tearful but even he said he doesn’t know what to do for her anymore or even what just happened.

OP posts:
LIZS · 18/11/2018 15:27

That is such a shame. Maybe you will get a clearer picture when he visits but at least you can move on.

Tummywhining · 18/11/2018 15:29

You sound like you've been kind and patient with her, but you can't do any more.

Her dad sounds supportive of her- even if he's struggling to help her, at least he's there for her which is more than most people have.

So I think you need to just accept this and move on now. Focus on what you need- and that is another lodger to help with the rent/bills by the sound of it.

It is sad for her, but you can't really do much more.

Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 15:39

Silly question butt what about her love life items that I know are in the room shall I get rid or give them to her dad

OP posts:
LIZS · 18/11/2018 15:40

Can you box up any "personal" items.

Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 15:48

She said she had a box of them

OP posts:
MimiSunshine · 18/11/2018 16:14

Label the box underwear or put the box inside a bigger box and put underwear on top and label underwear. It’s highly unlikely her parents, dad especially will want to unpack a box with that written on

Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 16:25

I’m back st work in morning it will be black bags no boxes left. I can’t drop crying.

OP posts:
Jack65 · 18/11/2018 17:52

Pleased it is now resolved for you. I made a couple of lifelong friends from lodgers, but some of the others were pretty difficult. Hopefully you'll have a better experience with your next lodger. Don't feel bad, you have to look after yourself, and you did everything you could.

Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 18:15

It’s horrible her notebooks full of wanting to die it’s just so sad

OP posts:
Original poster
PayingGuests · 19/11/2018 06:50

Sky and electric bounced this morning so I hope it won’t be long. I want to ask the Landlord for s new mattress the one at the moment is at least 15 years only and is a cheap one. I don’t know what warrants a new one.

OP posts:
Tiredemma · 19/11/2018 07:03

If she has been sectioned under the Mental health act and that section is a section 3 ( which is highly likely given its her third spell in hospital) , then she is eligible for section 117 aftercare which means her Clinical team need to ensure that she has appropriate accommodation before being released from hospital. I wouldn't worry therefore too much about making her homeless.

Original poster
PayingGuests · 19/11/2018 07:59

Her dad said they were supposed to ring me to arrange it. They never did.

OP posts:
ABoozedMoose · 19/11/2018 08:58

It seems really intrusive to be reading her notebooks.

Original poster
PayingGuests · 19/11/2018 09:36

Fgs they can’t be avoided splattered open everywhere she’s been hoarding. Written on the outside as well as in. I haven’t got time to sit down with a cup of tea, however I do have to throw some stuff away and prioritise her papers I don’t want her father there all day.

OP posts:
Original poster
PayingGuests · 20/11/2018 08:24

Ive been up all night sorting stuff out I’m just waiting for the dad I feel like asking him for some money but I know I can’t

Flatmate hasnt been back for weeks. Again.
OP posts:
LIZS · 20/11/2018 08:33

Was he not expecting to do the packing? Is he returning her keys?

Original poster
PayingGuests · 20/11/2018 08:37

No he’s just text to say he hasn’t got them. He has the post them as they are special ones it’s a faff getting them done and expensive. I can’t expect him to do it as it’s my day off I have things to do need to go out. I don’t even know how it will get in his car.

OP posts:
hellozzz · 20/11/2018 08:48

One step at a time.
You have done well to bag all her stuff up.
Can you talk to the landlord to get a bit of leeway on the rent.

Once the stuff is gone, sort out the room and take some photos.
Put it on Gumtree.

£540 rent is quite cheap in London put it up for £650 and take a bit of pressure off you. Take a deposit - 6 weeks rent is normal. One months rental in advance plus the deposit. Give the tenant a receipt of the deposit.

I am assuming you have paid a deposit to the landlord and that is in a separate account so you have that there. I think at this point your friend has forfeited the deposit as she owes 1 months rent, the cost for you to bag stuff up and the bills.

You may have other things to o today but focus on the getting the room sorted. Any large items of furniture will need to stay with you.

Have you got a spare set of keys?

Original poster
PayingGuests · 20/11/2018 08:56

Yes I have. I wouldn’t charge a months rent the area is quite challenging for people that don’t know it. Plus all the modern flats are popping up around me there a lot for them for rent. This is 1920’s and needs some work. This was the room
Before she moved in it’s all white now

Flatmate hasnt been back for weeks. Again.
OP posts:
Original poster
PayingGuests · 20/11/2018 10:28

Well that was sad. Shes been under my nose the whole time. Now theyve loaded tge stuff the dad said they were supposed to contact me about the rent but they never did. Hes going to the unit now surely theres people there that deal with finances? He doesnt think she should go home as its too remote and all her support is here. He also said if she was been disscarged in afew weeks he wouldve carried on paying the rent!

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 20/11/2018 20:45

What, she’s in a facility nearby?
Just see it this way, you are free to have a clear understanding with the next person that if they don’t pay, what the consequences are.

Original poster
PayingGuests · 20/11/2018 20:54

Yes i couldve taken her some bits round. The father didnt seem to have a clue. I thought he mightve offered me afew quid. Shes text and ask me to send an email saying ive evicted her. I dont feel right doing that.

OP posts: