Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Flatmate hasnt been back for weeks. Again.

114 replies

PayingGuests · 16/11/2018 11:35

I spoke about her on here months ago. We get on very well but its clear she has MH issues although i dont prey and shes joked about them but not gone into detail. Ive lived in the flat for ten years its cheap for London my property is up north but no i wont be moving back for at least ten years. Im happy here.

My fm has always paid her half through student loans. She found it hard to get up and go to her practical placements and from what i gleaned she was given support. Anyway, twice she failed her final exams and twice she dissapeared but came back. If she wanted she couldve worked on the ward as a lesser grade and then gone onto the new nursing assistant course. It was a good opportunity if she didnt pass her finals . She went to get her results two months ago and failed which is very unusual so i dont know if there was something else going on with uni. The texts have been sporadic and i have guessed that she must be in a unit msybe close to where she is from. The first month she paid the rent. This month she hasnt. I dont want to keep nagging her as shes clearly ill but i dont know what to do. Im really poor the rent and bills all come out of my account im left with afew quid. She owes me £540. I could get another flat mate in seconds as she has a great room. I cant get in it as its in turmoil all her stuff is in therebless her all her life is in there really. However i cant do this.

She text never even said sorry just said if i can get the contract rewritten to include her name she will ćlaim from benefits. How long does that take is it even a thing anymore? Shes not even here to sign the contract which is why she isnt on it in the first place. Obviously im not going to get behind with the rent but i cant go on its xmas soon.

Any advice? She lives miles away and would need a van.

OP posts:

MsFrosty · 17/11/2018 09:38

If she's in a UC area she would have to be on the tenancy or have something from the landlord stating she has a tenancy before claiming housing costs

Original poster

PayingGuests · 17/11/2018 09:42

Well that’s what I thought and to do that she really needs to be here

OP posts:

mickeymacca · 17/11/2018 09:47

If she doesn't have a contract with you then just pack all get stuff up and let the room out. Try and make enquires and message /call her giving get a deadline to come and get her stuff or you will get rid of it all. (don't get rid of it)

mickeymacca · 17/11/2018 09:48

It doesn't matter if she's on the electric bill etc... Get her name taken off

anonkneemouse · 17/11/2018 09:51

You can ask uni to contact her next of kin and ask them to contact you. Explain it's an emergency.

MeOldChina · 17/11/2018 09:58

Yes, i would give two weeks notice via text. Phrase it nicely bit explain again that you can't afford the rent on your own and you need to get someone else in if she isn't going to pay. You could potentially have someone in paying a bit more than she was if, as you say the room is good.

I'd also be very wary of putting her name on the tenancy by the sounds of it.

I don't envy your position, but you are her friend; not her carer and you shouldn't be in financial difficulty due to her health problems.

LIZS · 17/11/2018 10:07

I doubt uni can share contact details under gdpr legislation. Agree you need to ask her to arrange to remove her belongings by x date unless she is definitely returning, and paying back rent, before then. Even if she were on the contract there is no guarantee benefits would cover her share of rent. You would also have more issues to replace her. Have you ever met any of her family or friends?

ReanimatedSGB · 17/11/2018 10:10

Is she responding to your texts/emails at all? If not, and you have tried to find out contact details for her family or close friends, I think you might need to consider contacting the police. To be blunt, if this woman has severe MH problems she might be 'missing' or worse.

I appreciate it's difficult for you - you are not responsible for her and shouldn't have to be, so it's time to find a new flatmate/lodger.

SuburbanRhonda · 17/11/2018 10:16

You absolutely have to find another tenant.

Of course you are concerned for her welfare. But if you fall behind with your rent and are evicted, then find out she’s gone back home to recuperate and doesn’t want to return to London, you could end up homeless. You have to put yourself first.

Wonkypalmtree · 17/11/2018 10:24

The university will have contact details for her family, try them first.

MrsExpo · 17/11/2018 10:24

OP you said her room is full of her stuff. Have you looked through it to see if there’s a family address or other contact info on anything - letters, address book or whatever. I know that feels like snooping, but it looks like you’re going to have to pack her stuff up anyway, so you’ll have to go through it all to do that.

Original poster

PayingGuests · 17/11/2018 10:28

She responds to text every now and again. The last one said she’s ill and can’t afford the rent but that she wants to get on the contract so the social will pay her rent. What would she live off after the rent do they give you money to pay your bills etc which are nearly £200 a month after that.

OP posts:

BorisAndDoris · 17/11/2018 10:33

Go online and look at something like entitledto.co.uk where you can find out how much rent a single person would be entitled to. In a flatshare. It may not even cover the rent needed. I'm sorry for her issues but making you both homeless does no one any favours.

Jack65 · 17/11/2018 10:44

Some of the legal advice on here is wrong. As the tenancy is in your sole name, you are the only person to have an assured shorthold tenancy. Your flatmate to whom you are subletting (nothing wrong with that providing the ll knows) has a license to occupy, often called a lodger. As such, you can terminate the license at any time, and i would suggest that is what you do. So write to her, either email, snail mail, or text if that is the only way. State you are terminating her license to occupy and pack up her belongings. Put them in storage and pay the first months rent. Tell her where her belongings are and any codes etc she needs to get to her belongings. You have then dealt with the problem and are free to relet her room. It isnt your fault she is ill, nor is it your responsibility and if her mh is that bad you really dont want her coming back to impact on your life. Her family needs to deal with it now, not you.

HollywoodMontrose · 17/11/2018 10:50

If you are the tenant then she is a lodger and this has been allowed by the landlord. Could you draw up a lodgers agreement? I think this would be satisfactory for getting housing costs paid to her. It's not strict like an assured tenancy and can be very brief, but still paper proof that she's liable for housing costs. Of course, you would be entitled to empty her room and get a new lodger in now, as you appear to have an unwritten lodgers agreement at the moment- you just need to give reasonable notice.

AlpacaLypse · 17/11/2018 10:51

Although she is no longer attending the university, the admin staff will probably still have contact details for NOK, a home address, similar. Obviously they will not be able to give you these, but they may be able to contact these people and ask them to contact you.

Original poster

PayingGuests · 17/11/2018 10:51

How much is storage I have no transport and there’s a lot of stuff

OP posts:

Theyprobablywill · 17/11/2018 10:53

And she doesn't need to be on the tenancy to claim housing benefit, but she would need something from you to confirm she was paying rent.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 17/11/2018 11:42

I’d text:
Sorry you’re still unwell. I’m really struggling to pay the rent atm, to the point we will both lose the house unless I get the share for your room and I can’t add your name until xxx. Unless you can forward the rent money I’ll need to rent to someone else from next month. We need to arrange for your things to be stored somewhere else until you get back on your feet. Could I have your parents phone number so they can help with this please?

mysteryfairy · 17/11/2018 11:48

We stored some stuff for my DS between university houses and it cost about £60 for the month but I think we would have lost a deposit too if we hadn’t picked it back up.

PoliticalBiscuit · 17/11/2018 11:49

It's £540 for the month

I'd consider the cost of man and van to move it to storage facility at say £100 and storage costs which will probably be £300 to new year (these are complete guesses) which is less than what rent you'll be taking from now on plus rent will be on going.

But it's possible the storage facility will charge you to dump her items once you finish paying storage costs.

Ask her for an address to forward some post onto and write you're own letter. Ask her for details of guardian, or details of the hospital she's in, it's possible you could speak to the administration there about the complications I'm sure it's not the first time.

In the first incidence I'd probably text and ask her if she has the number of someone you can bother with about some small impracticalities and let her have the space to get well.

Good luck, sounds really difficult.

GoldenPomBearBadge · 17/11/2018 11:50

The university will not get involved. They would be on very dodgy ground by even telling you that she is one of their students.

Original poster

PayingGuests · 17/11/2018 13:39

Oh I won’t get in touch with the uni

OP posts:

BiscuitDrama · 17/11/2018 13:45

For storage costs you should be able to get a quote online, but it’d be around £80 a month I’d guess.

Crinkle77 · 17/11/2018 13:48

The university are bound by gdpr. If you ring them they cannot even confirm if she is a student and they won't contact her parents. However if there is a health and wellbeing team then they will be able to pass on her details to them.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5