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Original poster

Flatmate hasnt been back for weeks. Again.

114 replies

PayingGuests · 16/11/2018 11:35

I spoke about her on here months ago. We get on very well but its clear she has MH issues although i dont prey and shes joked about them but not gone into detail. Ive lived in the flat for ten years its cheap for London my property is up north but no i wont be moving back for at least ten years. Im happy here.

My fm has always paid her half through student loans. She found it hard to get up and go to her practical placements and from what i gleaned she was given support. Anyway, twice she failed her final exams and twice she dissapeared but came back. If she wanted she couldve worked on the ward as a lesser grade and then gone onto the new nursing assistant course. It was a good opportunity if she didnt pass her finals . She went to get her results two months ago and failed which is very unusual so i dont know if there was something else going on with uni. The texts have been sporadic and i have guessed that she must be in a unit msybe close to where she is from. The first month she paid the rent. This month she hasnt. I dont want to keep nagging her as shes clearly ill but i dont know what to do. Im really poor the rent and bills all come out of my account im left with afew quid. She owes me £540. I could get another flat mate in seconds as she has a great room. I cant get in it as its in turmoil all her stuff is in therebless her all her life is in there really. However i cant do this.

She text never even said sorry just said if i can get the contract rewritten to include her name she will ćlaim from benefits. How long does that take is it even a thing anymore? Shes not even here to sign the contract which is why she isnt on it in the first place. Obviously im not going to get behind with the rent but i cant go on its xmas soon.

Any advice? She lives miles away and would need a van.

OP posts:
Original poster
PayingGuests · 17/11/2018 13:50

She’s not a student there now. I can’t afford to pay for a man with a van. I literally can only pay my phone bill. I have to prioritise my self. I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
mylightbulbmoment · 17/11/2018 13:57

Sorry to sound awful but this is the risk you took when you sublet a room and didn't do paperwork to legitimize it.

NotANotMan · 17/11/2018 14:03

Subletting is perfectly normal and common in places like London and OP has done nothing wrong as long as the landlord knows, which they do.
Being the 'main tenant' is sensible and means you can vet housemates yourself and get rid of anyone who doesn't pay rent very quickly without being liable for the rent for months while you go through legal process to get them out.
It also suits subletters who don't want to pay agents fees, have credit checks and pay £1000s in deposits.

OP you need to clear her room and rent it out again. You need to bag and box up as much as you can and store it wherever you can - borrow favours from friends with lofts, stick it under your bed, wherever. Text her to say you're doing this and give her the chance to arrange for it to be collected.
When you get someone in the room use their first month rent to get a man with van (try getvan for quotes) to deliver it to an address of her choosing or to a storage facility, whichever she chooses.

mylightbulbmoment · 17/11/2018 14:06

Yes but the OP has sublet without the formal agreement of her landlord, and without any safeguards in place for herself in the event of the lodger not paying the rent.

If you're looking to get someone else in OP, you'd be better to regularise their licence to live there.

ElideLochan · 17/11/2018 14:21

pack up her stuff, move it into your room/front room anywhere you can, and get that room let

californiascreaming · 17/11/2018 14:23

Text to her. "Sorry this situation can't continue anymore. I cannot financially support you anymore. I am giving you 2 weeks notice to leave the property. After that date your items will either be thrown away or sold to try and recoup the debt you owe me. I understand you have your own difficulties at the moment so please show this message to the people that are currently helping and caring for you".
Bag and box up what you can and wait for the two weeks to expire. The stuff that might have value keep separate so it can be photo'd and sold. Then get the room advertised and find a new flatmate.

Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 09:51

I was up at 5am stressing about this. How am I supposed to get ready for Xmas o can’t even afford the deposit for the work do. I’m going to have to do something today. Two weeks is too much notice I need to get someone in ASAP.

OP posts:
Jack65 · 18/11/2018 10:20

Again some of the advice on here is wrong. Your lodger is a lodger. Also known in legal terms as a licensee. You do not need any paperwork for her to have a license. That's what this type of arrangement is called. The protection from eviction act does not apply in the case of licensees. You do not have to give notice to your lodger, only reasonable notice which can in this situation be 2 hours. Just box up her stuff, and like someone else said, either stick it in your room, or anywhere, wherever you can, and get yourself another lodger. You can track her down later by contacting your ex lodgers family by asking the uni to contact them on your behalf. Even if she returns you do not need the stress of somebody who is not paying their rent, whatever the reason. Don't stress over it. Ignore horrible people on here. Exactly the same happened to me, but my lodger was in a v serious car accident, and i had a mortgage to pay. You have done absolutely nothing wrong, and its a very awkward and horrid situation to be in. Just start packing her stuff and be ruthless. Look after your tenancy.

Whatsnewwithyou · 18/11/2018 10:33

Agree with Jack65. Pack up her stuff, carefully store her valuables like laptop, photos, etc in your room and if she has a bunch of junk like cheap clothes etc and there is absolutely no room for it all then bin/take to charity shop. You need to get that room let. I also think it's possible if you Google her name and place she's from you might be able to find relatives you could contact (unless she has a very common name).

Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 10:35

Yes thanks for that. I’m ignoring anyone that’s talking about rights and contracts. London is different and this is a lovely flat with a good landlord. No exploitation going on. There’s no way she would be changing the contract every few months and I wouldn’t ask her.

OP posts:
Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 10:40

The cleaner is coming tomorrow I should probably cancel her I can hardly afford it. However she is a good organiser maybe I should get her to start on the bedroom? I’ve already gone in with a paintbrush and done round the light switches etc. So so many clothes. All her medical instruments and books. It’s sad really. Would she be in a hospital all this time? It’s been three months,

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 18/11/2018 10:43

As others have said, messsge her and tell her she has x amount of time to collect her things. Stick it in your room and get the room let asap. Her situation is obviously difficult and I think you have been far more forgiving than most would have been.
It would be better to have a chaotic room with her stuff too with some rent coming in. I think you need to have a stronger two way understanding with the next person that if they don’t pay, they don’t stay.
London is transient. I totally get that,

Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 10:45

Ill wait until this afternoon when her parents might be there.

OP posts:
Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 10:46

Theres all kinds of scenarios isnt there? Part if me is wondering if her parents even know.

OP posts:
MeOldChina · 18/11/2018 10:55

When her parents might be where? Do you know where she is?

MrsChollySawcutt · 18/11/2018 11:05

I think you need to stop worrying about the flatmate OP. She's been gone 3 months leaving you to cover the rent and look after her belongings without really knowing where she is or when she intends to return.

Yes she could be in hospital but It's not really clear why you think that's the case. She's being deliberately vague and could have gone on a massive partying bender to blot out her troubles or many other scenarios.

You need to look after yourself as it sounds like you are in no financial position to cover the flatmates costs and are actually putting yourself at risk by having done this for the past 3 months.

Time to be hardnut and send a text like this:

'I'm sorry if you are unwell but I can't afford to continue covering your share of the rent. You are already 3 months in arrears and owe me £xx.

I will be getting a new lodger in place as soon as possible. Your belongings have been packed and and I will keep them here for you to collect until Sunday 2nd December. After that I will sell any high value items to cover part of your rent arrears and donate the rest to charity.

Please respond and let me know when you will collect your belongings and how you plan to repay your rent arrears.'

Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 11:48

She’s been gone for three months she paid the first two as she was still getting her nursing bursary

OP posts:
MrsChollySawcutt · 18/11/2018 12:15

Ah ok sorry, I read that she'd been gone 3 months without paying. In that case:

I'm sorry if you are unwell but I can't afford to continue covering your share of the rent. You haven't been able to pay for last month so I am already £xx out of pocket.

I have no alternative but to get a new lodger in place as soon as possible to enable me to keep up with the rent. Your belongings have been packed and and I will keep them here for you to collect until Sunday 2nd December. After that I will sell any high value items to cover part of your rent arrears and donate the rest to charity.

Please respond and let me know when you will collect your belongings and how you plan to repay your share of last month's rent.'

NotANotMan · 18/11/2018 12:34

Please don't threaten to sell her stuff. You need to write off the lost rent, that's just how it is.
Tell her you'll keep her things for 7 days and if she doesn't arrange collection you'll pay the first month in a storage facility and tell her where it is.

Mosaic123 · 18/11/2018 12:43

You said you've picked up pills for her in the past?

Do you know who her GP is? The GP might be willing to forward a letter to her parents (or other NOK) on your behalf. They won't give you her contact details of course.

Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 12:44

Are you kidding me?

OP posts:
Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 12:45

Soryy that was for notaman. I have no 8nte tion if paying any storage i literally dont have the money

No the would t sacked for that.

OP posts:
Original poster
PayingGuests · 18/11/2018 12:48

Good god my ipad is all over the place today.

I cannot afford to spend anymore money on this. I will have to pay to advertise etc.

Shes read my message no mention of selling anything but i said if she cant pay the rent she needs to organise a van to collect everything and if this is too much for her to show the message to her parents.

OP posts:
NotANotMan · 18/11/2018 12:48

I suggested that you pay for either a man with van or a month storage when you get your first month rent from the next tenant. Of course you could sell or bin her stuff if you choose to, up to you

NotANotMan · 18/11/2018 12:49

Spareroom and gumtree are free to advertise