Not agreeing with DH's no dinner punishment.

[loveulotslikejellytots]

Dd is nearly 3. We've been out for an early tea, dd refused to eat it and had a tantrum. I took her out of the restaurant, gave her the option of sitting and eating or going home. She started screaming and shouting when we went back inside again so I took her to the car, and we left.

DH has now said she's having nothing else. Dd is saying she's hungry. I'm trying really hard to back him up but I don't agree with this and have said I'll give her some porridge (out of ear shot of Dd)

DH is now sulking. It's not him that will be up in the night with a hungry toddler though! I feel she has already been punished, she's lost her screen time for tonight, DH also said no toys when we got in but I have no easy way of enforcing this as there are toys in at least 2 rooms Dd can get into. He is watching tv not even attempting to stop Dd playing so I guess he wasn't that serious about that one.

Was it her usual meal time?

You can't deprive a 3 year old of a meal. He is BU.

You can't starve a child as punishment

Who's having the tantrum? Him or her?

Food as punishment, big fat nope. She's 3 ffs.

Is he always an arse?

If my DC refuse a meal they know they don't get anything until the next meal. The rest of the punishments are too much.

I don't agree with restricting or forcing food as a punishment, setting her up for food issues later, but it is a difficult situation to know how to discipline. If he is letting her play with toys then I think it's silly to try and take them away now so long after the incident

Sorry but I think what your 'd' h is doing is cruel!! She's 3 years old, make him go without breakfast and lunch tomorrow for sulking like a pathetic teenager!

Have you pointed out that withholding food as a punishment despite knowing she's hungry is actually abusive?

Even on the 80s it was considered abusive to starve children as punishment.

Your DH is an idiot. Food should never be used as punishment. This is a 2 year old! They aren’t rational! WHats his excuse for being so stupid?

Nearly 3 is far too young for punishments. Banning screen time and food is a step too far. She is a baby - like your DH. She'll probably grow out of it. I'm not sure about him.

"Nearly three" is actually two.

Give her something simple to eat (toast) and give her a bath and a calm and nice early night. She will not have had control over her behaviour earlier, she's too young, and if you are back, now, from "Early tea" then really she was given a second lunch which she unsurprisingly didn't want.

WHole thing could have been avoided by thinking about her needs, which you are now doing and her father isn't.

Never use food as punishment, very Victorian attitude. No way would I stand for DH making such a ridiculous rule ever.

She's THREE!! They're all Attila the Hun at that age

These punishments are out of order, she's already forgotten what's she's been punished for and he wants to starve her as well?! Taking her home when you said is ALL the punishment needed.

Fuxache sort some parenting classes out.

Punishing a 2 year old for having a tantrum is a totally pointless and age inappropriate thing to do. She will not make the connection between the two things and as a very young child probably has little control over their tantrums. Punishing certainly will not prevent a repeat tantrum in future. The key is handling them so they don't develop into tantrums if you can help it.

She's TWO? Christ!

There’s really no point in removing toys and screen time for a 2 year old. She’s not going to associate it with what happened when you went out for tea.

I would just give her dinner tbh. Don’t bother with the Porridge. If he’s going to insist on her getting nothing, then he needs to be the one getting up with her in the night tbh.

She’s 3 ffs

He’s an arse, and he needs parenting classes

The man is deranged

Tell him to get back in the pram with his stupid toys

You can't expect her to eat when it's not her usual meal time. They are still routine driven at that age.
You also don't deliberately make them skip a meal.
If you weren't hungry at tea time you wouldn't have gone for food but she has to miraculously be hungry at the same time as you.

Using food as punishment could cause her to grow up with a difficult relationship to eating. Apart from the fact that deliberately starving your daughter is abuse. Surely your DH can see that?

I have an nearly three year old. I would never punish him in like that, nor would I allow anyone else to.

If your dh wants to dole out difficult punishments like no play time, then he needs to deal with the fall out. He'll hopefully realise why parents of toddlers don't do shit like that

Is he a bully? You don't sound very confident in telling him to calm the fuck down and sort himself out. Which is what he needs to be told.

He needs to go on a parenting course. He needs to Be told this stuff is not ok.