Absolutely mortified!!

[Revengers18]

I'm at parents evening and after finishing with one of the teachers I accidentally awkwardly hugged her... She opened one arm out, I put my hand out and we ended up doing a half handshake and half hug like rappers do, omg it was so awkward...

Anyone else accidentally done something mortifying, please relay me with teacher stories so I don't feel as embarrassed...

BTW, it was the first time I'd met her too...

Absolutely embarrassing! Now waiting to see another teacher, hopefully will not make the same mistake...

My (female) boss went to kiss me on the cheek,it was an arty job and not an unusual greeting
Unfortunately we both went for the same rather opposite cheeks and kissed on the lips
We never spoke of it and neither did any of the 5 office staff that witnessed it!!

Such a funny thread!

After an evening at a friend's work's Christmas party we left before everyone else. As we were leaving, two ladies stood up to say goodbye. I hugged the first lady and somehow, in extending my arm, I managed to grab her left breast with my right hand before slipping my arm under her arm for the hug, I was so embarrassed! I then reached to hug the second lady and deliberately went in differently this time to avoid the same situation but in extending my left arm I somehow managed to grab her right breast with my left hand!!

I was so mortified going home that they were probably comparing notes and thought that the stranger that came to their Christmas do was a pervy breast-grabbing hugger.

Not me but my painfully shy uncle. He was so shy that if he was outside gardening and saw people coming along the path he'd go inside the house rather than have to speak to them.

Anyway, as a young man he was at the cinema and he'd folded up his raincoat and hung it over the back of the seat in front of him. Too late he realised a woman had come and sat down before he could get his raincoat off the back of her seat, fumbled it, and her hair got tangled in one of the buttons.

He actually got up and walked out of the cinema leaving the poor woman with her head tugged back, hair tangled in the button of a heavy raincoat.

Not me but a friend.
On holiday and was quite ill.
Went to see the doctor.
He explained (in French) that she would need an injection. She leaned over his desk and pulled her pants down in readiness for a needle in the buttock. He put it in her arm.

In one of my first jobs I went looking for one of the female directors and accidentally called her mum as I walked into her office 🤭

I was at the wedding of my cousin and her dh, instead of saying congratulations to them I ended up saying good luck instead.

I've also patted someone's boob instead of their shoulder. I really Shouldn't be allowed out in public.

These are funny.

Make me feel better about the time I kissed, yes kissed a blind acquaintance of mine. So not only was it inappropriate of me but the poor man didn't even see it coming.

I really have no explanation for my behaviour, I can't imagine what I was thinking . I've seen him many times since and managed to refrain from any untoward snogging.

A few years ago, my Japanese friend introduced me to her cousin who was visiting. The cousin leaned forward and I thought she was going to hug me so I hugged her but it was so awkward. She scowled and recoiled and I realised she didn’t want to hug me at all. Don’t think she was comfortable with it in her culture and I felt so bad about it all night. Still cringe when I think of it.

Me and my manager were interviewing for a care worker position. When we had finished we stood up to say goodbye and my manager leaned in a tiny bit and the woman gave her a huge loud kiss! Nobody said anything but I was biting my cheek not to laugh and embarrass her anymore because she immediately realised her mistake and looked mortified. Somebody else more qualified got the job but we liked her so much, we created a new job just for her! So sometimes it pays off!

My absolute favourite didn’t happen to me but to my dad and only I saw it. He had only met DH’s mum (my MIL) a handful of times. Both are VERY proper and staunch sort of people. On one occasion they all came for lunch in our little flat. When it came to saying goodbye they did all the went to hug / kiss on the cheek. They mistimed and gave each other a big kiss on the lips and then looked horrified 😂 I was the only one who saw it and it still makes me laugh loudly now at the sheer horror and embarrassment as they backed away to their respective spouses 😄 I’ve never told them I saw as their crimson blushes were enough for me!

I'm so glad I am not the only person who panic curtsies
The weird thing is I have never in my life been in a situation where a curtsy is the correct response, but when I get flustered out it comes - the totally barking mad and socially redundant curtsy, like it's my default setting

I'm crying reading these

I've literally just walked into my kitchen and announced to my male housemate and his friend that I need wood, do they have any. Which was met with the maturity of 12 year olds and we spent a good half hour giggling before he told me he didn't have any to hand and to try the garage down the road . Luckily I'd met his friend before and said equally insane things.

My housemates are batshit crazy so we spend a lot of time saying unintentionally inappropriate things and giggling about them which I love.

April2020. Did you miss some of your post out?

These are hilarious!

I still cringe 30 years later remembering what I did... [blush

I had a huge crush on a man that I used to see in Co-op all the time. We never spoke but smiled a lot at each other. I vowed that I was going to step it up so, on one ill-advised occasion I planned my next trip carefully.

Hair, make-up, swishy romantic dress - all perfect and completely inappropriate for a supermarket. I sashayed about the shop, loitering with intent. I spied him by coffee aisle so had in mind to just sweep by and do a sexy bunny dip. I saw him watching me so I went for it... started feeling my heels slide, grabbed the edge of the shelf - and brought it crashing down with me onto the floor.

The object of my affection came over to ask if he could help me up and what did I do? Laid there on my stomach, put my head on my arms and said that I was fine but actually quite tired and pretended to go to sleep.

I didn't hear him walk away, I must have stayed there for what seemed a lifetime, but I never saw him again because I never went back. :(

I still can't believe how silly I was.

These are so funny. Love yours lying.

I remember reading on here once, about a woman who was greeting guests at a conference. For no reason whatsoever she leaned in towards one guest and whispered "Do one" in her ear.
I still laugh about that one!!

Roaring at some of these.

I have done that embarrassing muddled hand shake thing with NOEL FITZPATRICK of all people. He came out to meet me and DH when we collected our dog after her stay, and he held his hand out for me to shake. But he was looking at DH when he did it so DH got confused and sort of reached out to shake his hand over mine, so I snatched my hand away from Noel, who quickly redirected to DH but looked at me, only for DH to then snatch his hand away as well. We pranced around like the three bloody stooges for what felt like an eternity until we finally coordinated 3 handshakes.

I also embarrassed myself as a child, when DM took me to the local church service at Easter time. I can't remember why but we had been given a Cadburys creme egg at some point, and at the end of the service I was cramming it in my gob as you do. Right at that moment I spied the vicar heading right for me, hands outstretched, benevolent smile on his serene face. I was a bit alarmed but didn't want to show up my DM so, mouth bulging with chocolate and goo I awkwardly stepped into his arms and gave him a sticky, chocolatey kiss on the cheek.

He gently swerved around me and continued towards the recently bereaved woman he was actually aiming for who was right behind me.

..and another I have remembered from the same thread!
A MNer speaking at a conference introduced herself by saying "Hello, I am Nigella Lawson"

Own up whoever you are!!

‘I’m Angela Hermandez’
Not me - but someone on mumsnet introduced herself as such, in front of Angela Hernandez ...

I was once introduced to a new (male) colleague and for some unfathomable reason I looked him up and down and said ‘very nice’ in a (not very) seductive fashion.

I still don’t know why-he wasn’t even good looking.

I couldn’t look him or my manager in the eye for —years—months

Am howling at the boob honking specially the door handle boobs.

I went in to Vodafone to get a new SIM card and there was a trainee with a staff member, he took me over to the computer to go through questions etc I didnt think anything of it and sat on the stool smack next to him (clearly for the trainee when i thought about it) rather than across from him.. when the trainee sat down across from him, rather than owning up to my mistake I sat awkwardly close to the man whilst he explained to the trainee what he was doing from behind the computer screen they did both give me an odd look but the worst has to be when my FIL came to give me a hug bye I misread as a cheek kiss and ended up kissing his neck.. that still makes me cringe now!

My DH on our wedding day was giving a hug and a kiss to all the ladies on my side of the family. He said it was down to nerves and being on autopilot when it got to my uncle he just leaned him and kissed him.  Unfortunately I missed it 

outing... But I once licked my hairdresser. Literally no idea how it happened, but it was mortifying. I ended up being forced to do action replays while the rest of the salon tried to work out how I'd done it. I've never been back.