Oh for goodness sake. I have a crush on the builder

[Keyra]

I’m such a cliche - middle aged sahm crushing on the builder. I need strategies to look busy and keep out of the way.

SeeTwoTo based on a university year I spent in halls of residence with some trainee PE teachers, I reckon it's a universal experience. They came back from their first school placements with jangling nerves too.

...or maybe we have a loose association of small builders in common .

I read that as 'feeding off the carers' which is a whole new thread about sexy old ladies I think!

There's a man coming round at tea time to look at my plumbing. I might need to nip out and get some chocolate hob nobs on the off chance

Shit, I forgot about the biscuit thing. I left my dark chocolate digestives out for the builders today because they took all my chocolate yesterday! Have I inadvertently proposed to them both now?? When they asked me for more chocolate yesterday (they'd had 1 bar each) I showed 1 a selection, thinking he'd pick 1 each again but he took half of what I showed him!

I fear I'm sending out signals now . Mine leave the toilet spotless (seat up), put their mugs in the dishwasher, made sure to use the crappier mugs and brought their own milk and clean up after themselves.

I once went on a date with a hot boiler repair guy (I did not meet him while he was repairing my boiler, however) and he told me that he regularly turned up places to be greeted by women in lingerie. I wasn't sure how seriously to take that. I bet it only happened once, but still. I asked him what he did and he used to just act like everything was normal and get on with the job

Wtf is that about him having his teeth out?!!

I haven't read the whole thread but I get really fed up of SAHM's chasing after the builder/gardener etc etc that's because I'm married to one! My DH who is pretty fit I will admit has been hit on so many times. He was fitting a kitchen in a divorced womans' house and after a few days her mate started coming round whilst he was there, by the end of the week they were both sitting chatting to him whilst he worked and asking all manner of really personal inappropriate questions about his marriage, sex life, whether he'd been unfaithful and whether he would be etc etc. They found it all highly amusing and finished off with letting him know if he wanted a no strings attached threesome they were up for it! He tells me so I'm not in the slightest bit concerned just irritated that they think sexually harassing the builder is fair game and offering to shag him despite him being married is also acceptable.

Foreverexhausted You definitely haven't read the thread.

All those desperate predatory divorced women after your husband !! I think you'll find the last thing most divorced women want is someone else's unfaithful husband.

me: thinks about talking to my builder about sex

(A metallic clanging sound is heard, like scaffolding or a lorryload of RSJs)

Me: oh so that's the sound my fanny makes when it slams shut

@SeeTwoTo that school with the green uniform wouldn't happen to be in the South East would it??

My secondary school had a green uniform (all girls school) and whenever there was a bloke in the school (builder/substitue/student teacher) the poor sods were flirted and giggled at (and sometimes followed around the school). They always seemed to finish up extremely quickly, not that I blame them 😂

I went to an all girls school in the south east with a green uniform too! 

Forever I wouldn't dream of hitting on anyone's husband, I absolutely wouldn't go there. I haven't yet established if cb is single so have done nothing untoward. And, in all honesty, even if he was single, I'm as far from a femme fatale (is that the right expression?!) as you can get. I have all the sophistication and pulling power of a, um, can't think of anything but hopefully you get the picture!

Chip cb has two teeth that aren't always in! And I'm finding this perplexingly attractive.

This thread has just brought cringing memories back for me.

We had the builders in a few month ago, had a massive crush on the one who was around my age, they were all stood in the garden on a tea break. I had to leave to go and collect DC from school and i was talking to them all as i was leaving to head to the car. The gaffer shouted something just as i was about to cross the road, (live in a cul de sac) i turned to reply when the wind blew my freshly done hair, so as i turned to flick it out my face and to reply, i lost my footing, came off the kerb and ended up on my arse in the road.

I have never jumped up and legged it to the car as fast as what i did that day.

SoundofSilence* sounds like it’s a universal experience then, unless you know my Uncle Bill :)

@flutterbean why yes! FB?Although maybe there are lots of girls schools, with green uniforms, who are a bit St Trinian.

@SeeTwoTo No I went to NW, must be a universal experience with green uniforms!!

OP my DP is a builder!
Def pull out the food and a good cupa coffee!
I would be asking his work mate for some info...im sure you have been a topic of conversation for them already!
You have nothing to lose!!!

OP, might I suggest trying what newrubylane's date's customer did and greet cb in lingerie? Hopefully you won't open the door to cg, because that would be awkward

Or, if you want to be a bit more subtle, perhaps some skimpy pjs or a silky dressing gown?

You can't make yourself have a crush, they just happen, just enjoy the feeling it gives you.

Since I had my hysterectomy in my early 40's, I haven't had a crush and I miss them. Been with DH since I was 16 and I always enjoyed it when one came along, just brightens up your life a little, though mine were always celebs of one kind or another. I just kept my crush in my head.

Enjoy 😊

I've only just discovered this thread and I am so invested.

@Keyra you are adorable

I had a crush on a lovely Polish plumber once. He had the face of an angel. My friend came round quite a lot at that time. Then when my Mum died, I employed her gardener to help me move heavy stuff out of her house. Crush on him too. So manly. He had never been out of Somerset though. Not once in his life. He came to my mum's funeral and the old lady brigade were all a flutter. He obviously had an appeal across all age groups.

We run our own business in one of the trades.

When one of our lads, who is indeed very good looking, was still an apprentice he went to do some work in the garden of a Pilates teacher. It was a very hot day so half way through the afternoon he took his top off ...... all the middle aged ladies doing the Pilates had a Diet Coke moment and needed time to cool down 😊😊.

My dh and other subbies are all middle aged so them taking their tops off does not have the same effect!

Hey Keyra,
I do empathise, have had similar reactions to builders in my
house over the years, am convinced now that it’s a variation of Stockholm Syndrome.
Something about the blurring of boundaries, people exerting themselves physically in your home, that and they never bloody leave so it’s fancying them or plotting murder, possibly both...
Good material for fantasies for DIY pleasure though!

Di

OP I think it's traditionally called a Clothes Maiden. I always refer to it a the iron maiden, it started off as a joke between me and my partner, but now i just say it to everyone.

OP if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? If you're a SAHM to kids, surely you're not old enough to be mum to someone who you think could be 50?