Oh for goodness sake. I have a crush on the builder

[Keyra]

I’m such a cliche - middle aged sahm crushing on the builder. I need strategies to look busy and keep out of the way.

Op - you’re regular updates are very much appreciated

Your

Keyra, I say go a bit school girl and tell chatty gaffer you have a crush on CB and if he knows whether he's single! Do it! What have you got to lose?

As the previous "owner" of a builder husband, I have to say that stories of bacon sandwiches, proper coffee, marks and Spencer's lunches and homemade baked goods made me very twitchy indeed.

However the time he was cornered and given a 30 minute tearful rundown of the female homeowners relationship troubles, was probably the closest he ever got to actual intimacy. Although I did divorce him, so who knows? (even hunky builders with huge biceps can be arses)

It’s very kind of you to say so Alien but I don’t think even the most optimistic amongst you could describe them as interesting! Anyway - I’ve just seen him hefting breeze blocks around!

Cor...our plumber gets a fry up 👍

Sorry, late to the party but can't believe iron maiden are in your kitchen 😂

Usually, this works better when the wolf is asleep.

Sorry, wrong thread.

(Not placemarking)

Do you think that gaffer may be flirting with you because he has noticed something going on with CB?

Or are you going 'Ooh Young man!' a lot?

...or is the gaffer after those free toys you failed to mention in his presence?

sadsadsady Davon Catpyjama coffee surely? Maybe it's just the tea variation that's pervy. :)

In my experience American builders come with their own giant cups of convenience store coffee. I think no one wants to be seen as a freeloader who hangs around eating and drinking rather than working, so maybe it isn't so much about American hospitality as it is about the builder not wanting to acquire a reputation.

Op I feel for you. These are very charged situations. I can think of a few emotional dramas involving builders and friends/neighbours, including my mum's builder who had an affair with her friend/cleaner and in the middle of that secretly married his long-term partner. My friend implied that mutual friends had a threesome with the builder who did their kitchen but I didn't ask for the details.

I have a sort of crush on our lovely builder but it's more that I feel an inappropriate level of platonic affection for him and want to be his friend (and I suspect dh feels the same). Couple of saddos

There is something so sexy about a capable man. If only they realised...

Is one of the conclusions we can draw from this thread that the porn trope of "sexy builder / handy man ends up shagging the lady of the house" is based on something substantive...?

I feel I'm really missing out on all these hot builders. Ours looks like someone hammered his head onto his shoulders.

It's a common fantasy I think wimple. I've read erotic fiction where this occurs frequently. It's usually a sexy builder/gardener/pool guy/delivery guy/new next door neighbour. I'd love to know if anyone has actually done it... in detail

You've reminded me of the story my DP told me many years ago about some work on a girls' school which they hadn't finished before the girls came back from half term. It took about a day for the girls to reduce them to nervous wrecks with a buddy system to make sure that they were never, ever caught alone (MN definitely needs a smilie for abject male terror).

I fancy my builder most when he is being capable and doing stuff with wood and bricks and what not. It's probably not a coincidence that my exh was an accountant who literally couldn't change a lightbulb  it's a refreshing change!

catpyjama thank you for sending tea up my nose, it hurts

Agree about capable men

My DH is very rugged and capable, that's why I fell for him. Those suntanned forearms as he picked up full size hay bales with one hand and tossed - TOSSED - them effortlessly onto a trailer with the minimum of effort. Phwooar.

He is still extremely practical and capable 20 years later and most women get a bit fluttery around his manliness. Luckily for the local divorceds and separateds he is about to start working for himself again, so I can pimp out his man services for money.

I can lend him out for £20 per hour. You get a discount if he breaks wind or says fuck too much.

RadioDorothy Cor, I can see why you were defenceless against his charms! But you're absolutely right, strong, tanned forearms are very lovely ☺️

Ooh he's still got them Bagel.

Obviously after 20 years together I'm a bit more immune these days, but I do roll my eyes sometimes at how certain women go all weird around him.

There is a doctors receptionist who is always exceptionally rude and stand offish to me, I always hope I don't get her if I have to go in. One day I went in with DH for him to register, and fuck me if she wasn't a completely different person! She couldn't get enough of him, when we got outside I said shit she might just as well have dropped to her knees and got his policeman out there and then!

He was very smug, the handsome bastard.

Delurking on this splendid thread to offer Keyra a possible* solution to her strikethrough problem

Settings > General settings > Keyboard > Turn off smart punctuation

*Only works for iphone/ipad

He probably does nuclear style shits, according to MN they all do, enough to melt their toilet into the laminate flooring

The current object of my attentions is a builder, my exH was useless at DIY, handy around the house definitely adds to this one's attractiveness. He's single before anyone worries.

Just discovered this thread this morning. Luckily I’m off work today so I could devote some time to it. Absolutely superb. OP I’m wiling you to have success with CB.