How often do you get a child free night?

[bigfishlittlefishtupperwarebox]

My DH and I have one DC, a 2yo. If you are or have been in roughly the same boat, how often do/did they stay out overnight so you could have a night off to go out as a couple etc? Just trying to settle a dispute with my DH...

I know there are a lot of different variables, but for info, our DD is at one set of DGPs for two working days as childcare, and at the other set of DGPs for 5/6 hours another day already.

Ugh yes Brick, DD's 11, and stays up until 11 in the holidays. The only reason I'll get her in bed before 9 tomorrow is that she has an appointment on Friday which means that we all have to be up earlier than a school day. 😴😴😴😴😴

When mine were that young.....never. We never had a night off. Best we could hope for was about 4/6 evenings out a year. back home before midnight to release the babysitter.
My kids were teenagers before I managed to get them to enjoy a night at their grandparents.

Never. We accepted that when we had three children, nights alone would not happen!

Sinkgirl it will get better with twins ... mine went on the same school trips, scout trips etc.

Ke1stina we don't have frequent babysitting. The kids used to stay for a night or two with PIL at a time of PIL's choosing in the longer school holidays before my MIL died, but usually not all 3 kids together. It was for them to spend time together not as childcare, and they found it toi much to have all 3 both boys together so usually had DD + one of the DSs and then the other ds another time. We've never used another babysitter.

It's really not a problem not to have overnight childcare if the children have 2 parents.

I appreciate that if one parent has passed away or is a "parent" with inverted commas due to being a deadbeat/ useless etc then it's a million times harder to do everything alone. That's what I wasn't thinking about when saying its no problem, sorry for not taking it into account.

OP. Never. We have no family around. When we visit grandparents it is the same, as they are all in their 80s.

As a couple maybe 3 times and he is 2. As an individual (leaving with DH) prob another 4 times overnights for funerals/weddings/girls weekend in different cities. All trips taken from 1-2 rather than before DS was 1. We have no family within 300 miles if that makes a difference.

Every 12-18 months if we are lucky.

Never. Not once. I have a 2yo and a nearly 4yo.

We could do, but neither of us has any desire to leave dcs with anyone else overnight. If it’s a celebration, we would want them with us. I’ve never ‘got’ the whole ‘child free and it’s fantastic to get away from them’ bollocks, I actually like being around my children. There is plenty of time to come when they won’t want to be doing things with us as they will want to see friends etc and that’s fine by us. For now, we are enjoying having them close ☺️

Twice a week usually. Between grandparents and DD's biological Dad we've got quite a lot of free time!

My 7 year old didn't sleep for more than a couple of hours at a stretch til he was nearly 3, but since then we've also been blessed with amazingly easy kids I suspect. None roam in the night and the teen likes an early night as she's an early riser and recognises she gets tired In term time they all have a very early start (teen and tween have to catch a bus at 6:30am) so they're all in bed by 8!

We've always had evenings to ourselves except in the baby phase and dc3's non sleeping years... So yes that also makes things very bearable indeed!

Now, on average around 2 weeks' worth over a year. When the dcs were babies my mum would come over and scoop them up with a muslin and whatever formula would be needed overnight and off she'd trot. I had acute PND and i can still remember my emotions the first time she did it, i couldn't quite believe she was offering to give me a night of sleep. DC1 was about 5 weeks old at the time. She did the same with the others. She was and is a great woman. We;d be lost without her.

@bark just because someone enjoys spending time away from their children doesn't mean they don't enjoy the times they are with them. It's doesn't have to be all or nothing 🙄

We love our time as a family but we also love our couple time. For us that's vitally important and contributes hugely to the happiness of the family as a whole.

Maybe once every couple of weeks we’ll have a night out and they’ll stay at MILs. We have a weekend away perhaps 3 times a year and a week away every September. We are very fortunate.

MIL has had DS for 1 night on her own (when he was 10 months old) and then another 2 nights with another adult (paid) babysitter there too (when he was 1.5 years old) 🙄 So a total of 3 nights in 3 years. It was a big deal apparently.

Would love some of those mythical amazing grandparents who do day trips out and overnight stays with their grandchildren!!

I never did. My DD never ever slept anywhere until she was 8 or 9 and invited on a sleepover. Prior to this she'd never slept out of the home.
No willing grandparents or friends etc

I have 4 dc and we never go out, and they never all stay out oldest one gets to stay at one of his cousins but the others don't go anywhere, they won't even come and have them for a few hours since we've moved.

We have a 2 year old and a 1 year old and no family close by, I don’t think either of my children would cope well with being left overnight with their grandparents so we’ve not have a night away together since before the oldest was born.

we have a 7year old ds and he stays with my inlaws one night every weekend. They love having him and i dont see the point in being a martyr just to say i never get a break.

We've had one night since the oldest DC was born... it's nearly 6 years now since we've had a night at home/away by ourselves. We get very jealous of friends with GPs/family nearby who regularly get nights off!!

We’re in a similar set up. We have a 2.5yr old, my parents have her 3 afternoons a week as childcare. DHs parents have never looked after her, ever. My parents have had her over night on 3 occasions. Once was a child free wedding where DH was best man, the other two occasions were both our 30 birthdays. Didn’t leave her at all until she was 18 months and then there’s been roughly 6 months between all occasions.

My parents have come round to babysit once she’s already in bed asleep, so we can go out for dinner, on two other occasions (say 8pm till 10pm).

Haven't read through the thread but for us it's been one night in seven and a half years...

Never had overnight childcare my son is 2.5 years. I think we've been out for an evening together 4 times.

Never my almost 4 year old has slept out at my mums twice out of choice and 4 times due to her baby brother being in hospital. My son nearly two has never been away from me over night. 😩

One night a week every week. 4 year old