How often do you get a child free night?

[bigfishlittlefishtupperwarebox]

My DH and I have one DC, a 2yo. If you are or have been in roughly the same boat, how often do/did they stay out overnight so you could have a night off to go out as a couple etc? Just trying to settle a dispute with my DH...

I know there are a lot of different variables, but for info, our DD is at one set of DGPs for two working days as childcare, and at the other set of DGPs for 5/6 hours another day already.

Overnight, extremely rarely. Youngest stayed with his cousin a couple of weeks ago and I don’t think he has every stayed away from home more than 2 or 3 nights ever, he’s 8.

Out for the evening, most weeks as we’ve laid babysitters from when the children went down reliably for a few hours early evening

Never. Both sets of GPs are within 5 minutes but have never offered. The kids are 17,15 and 13 now so we have just waited until they are old enough to be left on their own....nearly there I think! It used to really upset me when they were younger but now they're older and my parents basically don't know my kids I think "screw it, your loss"

We definitely haven't had a child free night since I was pregnant with ds2, it was December 2013. Before that it was NYE 2010.

Never. My twins are 25 months now. We’ve had a relative who lives far away babysit so we could go to dinner twice. Never been away overnight though.

i have two boys - 11 and 4 - and they sleep over at my mum and dad’s every friday night and have done ever since they were about three months old.

We didn't have them stay overnight unless in an emergency, but we have had babysitters here (usually my brother) so that we can go out for the evening - probably a couple of times a month.

have a 6.5 year old - he has stayed away from us for 1 night his entire life. No one offers and its too much of an ask to ask. Some people have more free time, others like us have none - except where we pay a small fortune for an evening if babysitting

one size doesn't fit all. Depends on child, their age, how may kids, how close they are to GP etc etc.
I have 3 and about once a year we would get a weekend away, other than that its the odd night out with babysitter here and there. Sadly we are now separated so I get every other weekend child free and a week without them in school holidays and its horrible being without them. Never appreciate what you've got I guess. But for you OP as you said, this isn't about your childcare needs, there is obviously other issues here too. Hope you get it sorted!

My mum used to come and stay a night, or DD would go to hers, 3 or 4 times a year. It depends on your set up. My sister lived much closer and had more. My brother further away and rarely. DD is at uni now and we go out whenever we like 😁.

When we had just DD, she stayed out overnight perhaps 6 times with my parents/sister between the ages of 1 and 3. Since we also had DS a year ago, we haven't had any nights off but hopeful that will change. We have the odd evening out when we get a babysitter.

Once and my girls are 6. I went to my father's funeral abroad. She, never.

I meant dh, never!

4 dc. eldest is 13. I can count on one hand the number of overnights we have had. I would also say we have had less that 10 nights out together without kids. We are lucky though in that we have a good social circle which includes lots of people in the same boat so we generally have nights at each others houses.

Never for the first 3 years simple because he was so high needs.

Twice in 5.5 years.

I'm quite shocked. I'm a childminder that takes children overnight and we have one or other of the children sleeping over at least once a week.
I can't possibly be the only one, surely! I didn't used to be.

We’re expats so no family around to help out.

When DS1 was 18 months, I came to London for a wedding and so DH was alone with him for 3 nights.

Just before that, MIL died so DH went back to the UK for a week leaving me alone with DS.

The only night we’ve had away from DS that we’ve been together is the night I went into hospital to be induced with DS2.

DS2 is now 4 months and DH and I will be staying overnight after a wedding without the kids this weekend. It’s taken a lot of planning and involves paying our nanny a lot of overtime (she doesn’t live with us and normally only works in the day time during the week)

2 and 3 year olds here. Approx twice a year overnight with grandparents. We pay babysitters for an evening maybe once a month.

Same as anyone else on here who lives far from family - we’ve had one night away from the DC in 7 years and that was when DS was 1 and it involved much wrangling and annoyance from visiting grandparents. Not worth the drama so we never asked again and they never offered.

DH has had lots of time away from the kids overnight because he travels for work. I got my first night away from the kids a year ago!

I will admit to being insanely jealous of anyone whose family are more helpful than ours. I know friends who can go on week-long holidays with their spouses once or twice a year because their parents will stay with their DC. I can only dream of that...

There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. I have friends with older DC, 10+ who go to sleepovers at friends houses or go on overnight camping trips with scouts etc so in a few years, hopefully, we will get there.

My six year old stayed once at our house with ILs looking after him when he was nearly three - we were on the last night of scout camp. Since then he has stayed with them in their touring caravan three times, but I had another (and now another) child to look after.

We’ve had one night out in the past year when we paid DS2’s keyworker to babysit.i can’t see us having a night without all three until I can trust the oldest in charge of the youngest - going to be at least 10 years. Can’t imagine we’ll get 3x sleepovers yo coincide before then...

We have 3 aged 4, 3 and 2 and another on the way. We try and go on a date night every fortnight when the kids have an activity/are at their friends house. We haven’t been on a night out in years, but are moving closer to family so hopefully will do it more.

Our DDs are now 16 and 13 years old and as a couple, me and my husband have NEVER had a full 24 hours together without the children.
A combination of no grandparents who were well enough to have them or the DDs themselves never liking staying away from us.
So anyone who manages to get GPs to help...
You ARE VERY LUCKY!

We’re going on a date night this weekend. My neighbor offered to babysit for one night so we could go see a scary movie or have a dinner with each other.

*Poisonous, I can't help thinking that's a bit extreme! It can't be good for your children either.

Fresta did you miss this bit?

So anyone who manages to get GPs to help...
You ARE VERY LUCKY!

It doesn’t look like it was/is their choice. What can you do if you have no one willing/able to help?