How often do you get a child free night?

[bigfishlittlefishtupperwarebox]

My DH and I have one DC, a 2yo. If you are or have been in roughly the same boat, how often do/did they stay out overnight so you could have a night off to go out as a couple etc? Just trying to settle a dispute with my DH...

I know there are a lot of different variables, but for info, our DD is at one set of DGPs for two working days as childcare, and at the other set of DGPs for 5/6 hours another day already.

Lucky you Pepper! You do realise thats a bit like a wealthy person saying, "bloody hell - how do you cope being poor..?!"

Id cope a lot better with family involvement! Id love for my children to grow up knowing close family that theyve bonded with. Its all down to us. All the time.

Bloody hell! How do people cope with no adult time! DD is 18 months and from when she was about 4 months old we’ve been out on average at least once a month

Well firstly you kind of don’t have a choice if you haven’t got anyone to have them. It’s not out of choice that we don’t have people willing or able to have them overnight.
And secondly we have adult time from 7pm every night when they’re asleep!

Ds is 2 (nearly) I had 2 nights in hospital when he was 6 months but dh was with him, last month dh and I spent the night in hospital together for monitoring for dc2.

But we only have 2 grandparents, one is too elderly to be leaving a toddler with and the other works full time.

DD is 6 months old and for the last 3 month's she goes to grandparents (my inlaws) overnight every Monday leaving at 12 and coming back just before bedtime at 8 the next day as I'm in lectures all tuesday. We don't usually go out on the monday though (maybe once every 6 weeks). I usually use the peace and quiet to study for uni/finish assignments and dp catches up on cleaning, laundry, grocery shop etc. We have a Child minder on a Thursday and my DM looks after her on a Friday (again I have lectures and Dp is at work). Dd is very luck to have nurses/midwives at grandparents or else we would be reluctant to let them take her over night on a regular basis.

Mine are much older now but when they were young my parents/sisters and friends would pretty much have them once every two weeks .. or as often as I wanted them to. We all shared the child care.

Last overnight was in 2010. We had an evening out about 2 years ago. Youngest started school last month so we have been out for lunch together once since then.

Never. GP either dead or in fragile health.
We do get babysitters 4/5 times a year. We also have nights out individually regularly.

We try to get a babysitter once a month or so to enable us to have a meal out. We both live overseas from our respective home countries, so grandparents can only help when they visit/we go home. Kids are 2 and 8 months. The babysitters are the nursery nurses from their crèche, so we're confident to leave them (although they rarely wake up or need anything).

I've got loads of willing family but my DS won't sleep for anyone but us. We don't get babysitters on an evening because it's not fair to ask them to entertain him til we get back.

He's 8. We both do loads of nights out and short breaks, but always separately.

When we just had one we very rarely had a whole night without him but did have a babysitter who would come for the evening so we could go out for a meal etc from about this age. We used to do that every 6-8wks
Our parents all live at least a couple of hours away.
Now we have two it's even rarer but sometimes my ILs will come for the weekend so we can go out to an event or a friend babysits - it's usually for special occasions . My parents live too far away and anyway my mum now has Alzheimer's and so can't have them.

In 17 years of parenthood, I can count the times on one hand. One set of grandparents aren't able and the other not interested.

Never. But we haven't wanted to.

My eldest is 16 and my youngest is 10.

Weve never had a childless night.

3 nights this year, which we only got because we finally won our fight for respite (son is 9yo)...

2-3 times a year :/

DD is 2 and stays with my mum maybe once every 3/4 months. I think we've had 3 this year. She would have her more if I asked but I don't like to because she already has her one day a week (mum is very young though, would never ask PILs who are in their 70s)

Probably a couple of times a year.
Got 2 kids, 8 & 4 - but they have become very clingy at night & have become a bit of a nuisance.
My parents are the only ones who will have them as MIL never helps, my parents also have them before & after school 4 days a week, so I feel guilty asking them to have them more.

One 7yo. Never had an evening out nor an overnight.

One set GPs abroad, Fil close by is old and unfirm. No one else.

We have 4 DC so it can be difficult. We have never had a night away together without our children. We tried date nights but we find daytime dates easier. It is far less stressful and we can relax more. We try to have a daytime date once a month or six weeks. We find other ways to enjoy our relationship and we have a very happy marriage.

If your DH is unhappy, see what he suggests to compromise.

Never. I have three and the youngest is still very young (and registered disabled / tube fed)

Never. I have four DC, three are very young and one with ASD so can be very hard work to dump on someone. I only have my mum to babysit and she will have them for a few hours here and there which I am grateful for, but not at night. Very rarely she will have them for an evening, but I need to be back at 10pm.

Perhaps once every 3 to 4 years.

We have never had a child free night since my eldest was born, so eight years.
No grandparents who can babysit, so we pay a babysitter once a mom so we can have a night I'm

I should add my mum is a carer for my brother, and I don't like to put two energetic children on her. She does look after them and is very involved, but I've never asked her to do a sleepover.

My in-laws are in their 70s. Whilst they are still quite fit, they have a lot of grandchildren, are always busy, and I don't like to put on them too often.

So far 3 times in 7 years ..I'm working on uping this!