How often do you get a child free night?

[bigfishlittlefishtupperwarebox]

My DH and I have one DC, a 2yo. If you are or have been in roughly the same boat, how often do/did they stay out overnight so you could have a night off to go out as a couple etc? Just trying to settle a dispute with my DH...

I know there are a lot of different variables, but for info, our DD is at one set of DGPs for two working days as childcare, and at the other set of DGPs for 5/6 hours another day already.

Ive had a number of child free nights - mainly with work, occasionally with friends. DH has had loads too.

But number of nights where DH and I are together, and both kids elsewhere? Maybe once a year if we ask my Mum to take them for a wedding or similar. Mum has also started giving me and DH dinner and a night away as a Christmas present.

My DD is 3 and I’ve had two nights away from her since she was born (minibreak in 2016). Grandparents aren’t nearby so it’s hard.

Should say that’s whole nights away from her, ie overnight. I go out in the evening fairly often and DH looks after her/puts her to bed.

When we only had 1 dc we had probably 2 per year, however we now have 3 dc and PIL have other grandchildren so the current average is once every 18 months.

Never together so far (child is 4). I've had to go away for work quite a few times though, and he has been away for work once or twice and a funeral in Ireland. Grandparents are either too far away or not physically up to chasing a pre-schooler around.

Never both of them away at the same time, eldest is 12. SEN and distant elderly grandparents don't help. Individually DH and I get away, together would be lovely, our marriage has coped. We'll play catch up in our 50s.

5 and a half year old. She's never spent a night away from us.

Our last child free night was 6 years ago 

We have recently made an agreement with PILs to have DS stay with them one night a month so we can have a night to ourselves. They've done it once and moaned about it massively (even though they couldn't specify what was so bad and told us DS slept from 8:30-6:30) so I doubt the agreement will continue. Oh and DS is 22 months old.

Never had an overnight. DS1 6 and DS2 2.

Mine are 4 and 3. Oldest has stayed at my mums twice, youngest never has. We had one night away together when my mum had them at our house.
Nothing to do with not wanting to be apart from them overnight, we don’t have anyone else to have them and my mum takes strong sleeping tablets so none of us are comfortable with her having them.

To be honest though they’re in bed at 7 and sleep through until 7 so I don’t feel like we don’t get any evenings to ourself.

Whenever me and DH go away together my mum has dd (9) so maybe 4 nights a year. My mum also drops her at school 3 days a week on her way to work and then picks her up from after school club 3 nights a week.
Also if MIL is having dd through the school holidays she just stays there for up to 3 nights. I think she stayed at MILs for 5 nights in the summer holidays.

Mine are 8 and 6. Next weekend Dh and I are going out and staying out overnight. The kids will be with gran. First time ever. We are very excited!

My two sleep at my DMs house a few times a month. She's the other "primary caregiver" I suppose you could say. They're 4 and 6

Never. 2DC age 2 and 4. Not bothered really as wr still get out for dinner/ concerts/cinema etc maybe once a month. I don't think I'd want to be away overnight as 2 yr old up at night still.

DD stays at MIL every other Saturday night at MILs insistence, we have never asked.

DHs aunt has her grandchildren the same night and they all get together and have a sleepover usually. MIL and Aunt enjoy each others company and the extra pair of hands and the kids love spending time together.

DS is 3 weeks old so a child free night is definitely off the cards for the next 6ish months however MIL is already asking to have him overnight with DD. We won't say yes until he is down to one feed a night at most. It's not fair on the others even if MIL is willing.

We know how lucky we are to get couple time twice a month and always make sure we spend that time with each other and not take the time for granted.

I have one DS age 5, we probably have on average 3 or 4 child free nights a year when he stays with my mum.

One of them is next Friday, he's staying out and me and DP are going out for my birthday 

I feel so lucky. DS is 3 and stays at PILs every week. They have him on a Wednesday and Thursday morning so they suggested that he just stays. This has only been for the last maybe three months when I changed my hours at work but before that he'd probably have maybe one or two nights at theirs.

They would also have him an extra night over the weekend if we needed or my parents would have him over night. He first stayed out when he was about 11 months!as he was breastfeeding and wouldn't take a bottle. It would have probably have been earlier if he did!

Bloody hell! How do people cope with no adult time! DD is 18 months and from when she was about 4 months old we’ve been out on average at least once a month.

@PepperStakes Bloody hell! How do people cope with no adult time!

We have adult time every night from 7:30pm.  That's 3-4 hours an evening child free. Plenty.

Before DD2 was born 8.5 months ago it was every Friday night.

Mine stays at his grandparents one night a week and has done for last nine years, he also goes on the odd sleepover at friends/cousins now he's older so I get quite a lot of free nights in comparison to others it would seem.

We’ve used a babysitter to go out in the evening maybe four times since DC were born but only managed to get them both at a sleepover once. They’re 10 & 6.

4 times in 8 years.