How often do you get a child free night?

[bigfishlittlefishtupperwarebox]

My DH and I have one DC, a 2yo. If you are or have been in roughly the same boat, how often do/did they stay out overnight so you could have a night off to go out as a couple etc? Just trying to settle a dispute with my DH...

I know there are a lot of different variables, but for info, our DD is at one set of DGPs for two working days as childcare, and at the other set of DGPs for 5/6 hours another day already.

Very infrequently at that age, lived overseas. I think I can count on one hand the number of evenings we went out without them on one hand before age 8 ish (overnight was 2 times). Once they got a bit older they went to choir residential, tours etc plus twice in their childhood my parents watched them for a week so we could attend a wedding abroad. They are grown now so we go out whenever we want, we can even go away on holiday and they are live in dog sitters - childhood goes really fast, there's time after to get your life back!

Once a month - 18 months old

Having one now. Dh away with dc in Blackpool. I'm staying at MY nan's

Have had 3 nights out on 5 years. Am a LP with full custody and I work full-time, no support. It's amazing if I even get a childfree hour once in a blue moon.

DS is 18 months and has never been away overnight. DH and I have had nights out but we always came home to him and then babysitter goes home.

Once a month. She started going to granny's at 8 weeks old
She's now 5 and has her own room and toys there. She's happy to see the back of us when we drop her off and has a great relationship with them.

Once every five years, maybe more

At that age never. They're 7&9 now and have stayed at my DPs frequently in the holidays in the last year when we've been working.

We don't use it for a night out though (too knackered), if the kids are away we're both working long days 6 days a week.

At least 3 times a month but we have a live-in Au-pair which makes it much easier. We have 4 DC between us (4-10), two live with us permanently.

In 10 years - once to give birth.... and 2 other occasions and I think thats our rations.

A little envious of those with regular sleepovers/involved grandparents tbh!

We have had a few nights away from our 5 year old before our 3 year old was born. Maybe 4 or 5 in nearly 3 years. Since youngest born we’ve had 1 night away from them. We have however just booked a few nights away next year to travel away for a gig. Can’t wait! Our youngest is quite clingy and we didn’t like to leave her whereas our oldest was very independent early on.

We got married abroad this year and even had to have dd2 with us on our wedding night as she wasn’t having any of it going to grandparents!

I'm clearly in the minority here and feel extremely lucky - we have had a regular one night per week every Sunday night with our DC staying at grandparents for the last two years, plus maybe once a month on the weekend fri or sat night to go out as a couple

Wow one night a week!! Thats 52 sleepover a year. 52 mornings not being woken up by a child and able to sleep through.

I am so so envious! (Need a nicer word than envious. Im v pleased for you but cant imagine just how life changing that would be. Im exhausted.)

Adventuring
Yes I do feel incredibly grateful and we do get to sleep through however never sleep in as Monday is a normal work day and I'm up at 6 AM..Also to note with never ever asked the grandparents to do this this is completely them wanting to help out and spend time with grandchild- but yes, definitely extremely lucky and generally well rested

I'm having 3 right now! The DC are away. This happens every school holidays.

Never, GPs are 100s miles away. Occasionally one might go to a sleepover, or Cub camp, but never both!

Our eldest is 11, we've had 1 night child free since she was born, we got so much done the next morning with no kids in the house!!! A friend had them for a sleepover.

It's absolutely going to depend how close and how willing the grandparents are surely? My DB and SIL live next door to my Mum and have week long holidays without the kids because Mum will have them. Plus whenever she babysits she has the kids to stay over because she'd rather do that than have to stay up late waiting for DB and SIL. And she provides them with free wrap around childcare. I am so jealous.

Once, when DS (8) went on a school trip at the beginning of October.

No family near by. Unless he has another trip like that then that will be it until he leaves home!

I often take DS to visit my DM but it's a 500 mile round trip, so DP has had a few nights to himself. Never the other way around though as his family have never offered (fair enough, why should they).

Eldest is 9. I had 4 nights in hospital when he was 1 and again when he was 5. DH has business trips once or twice a year.

When he was 22 months and I was pg with youngest, IL’s took him for a night when he managed to flip the travel cot over so we could celebrate a “big birthday”. They’ve never offered since DC2 came along. BIL did invite DC, DC1 wants to go, DC2 not but the offer never turned into anything.

The only time my DC will be left with my family is over my dead body.

Why wouldn't you ask? The worst they can do is say no.

But why ask when you know the answer will be no. In our case they live so far away. DMum is a flight away, MIL is closer (still a few hours) but in her 80s. I'm not going to drag them down here to look after 3 kids overnight so we can have a stay in a hotel by ourselves .

Does she sleep?

Unless shes a very bad sleeper you have evenings , without her, together when she's in bed surely?

When mil was alive the pil used to kindly have the kids to stay for a few nights every so often - they first had dc1 for 1 night when she was 2, but we had new baby dc2 so we weren't "child free" - they first had dc2 overnight when he was 1, so first "child free" night was after 3 years of parenting. Once the kids were at school they could only stay there in the school holidays as oil live an hour away, and they'd stay once most holidays. All the babies were breastfed so couldn't stay before they were 12 months and I wouldn't have wanted to be apart before then.

We have 3 kids, so they rarely all stayed together, it wasn't really for babysitting so much as fun for the kids and grandparents. They all stayed together probably 4 times. We've been away overnight without kids twice in 14 years.

It's not a problem though, they still go to bed before us, so we're effectively alone when they're in bed! I've no particular interest in going out in the evening/ night any more tbh.

2 nights in 5 years.
We have a son who's just turned 5, and 2.5 year old twin boys.
The first night away was the week before my C-section with the twins. (I was MASSIVE) The second was earlier this year.

It's just the way it is. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Think the last time was about 8 years ago.
Same situation as many here. Living away from family makes it tricky. Sleepovers not common here.

DS didn't want to go on the school away trip this year.

No idea when the opportunity might arise again. When we do visit family, grandparents will babysit so we do get our chance of a free babysitter.

My DBro's kids are always off to granny and grandpa for the night.

Ho hum.

(I should add, that's 2 nights away in 5 years with me and DH together. We do each get away from the DC separately when one of us will look after them so the other can go do stuff they want to do.)