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Original poster

Not invited to SIL wedding

105 replies

Rosiebelle · 20/10/2018 10:16

AIBU is being disappointed not to be invited to my SIL wedding? My DP (of 5 years - we have a young child together) is part of the wedding party so is obviously invited but me me my DC aren’t invited at all.

The wedding is between Christmas and new year so we’re all off work, all other family members (and their children) are invited including her other brothers girlfriend of 4 months.

OP posts:
Willyoubuymeahouseofgold · 20/10/2018 10:38

100 % certain people will come on and say it's her wedding...blah blah blah .
But YADNBU. That's just rude, antagonistic and weird unless she has an exclusion order against you or you have a history of gladitorial fights when you are in the same arena.
Don't buy a present.

auntyflonono · 20/10/2018 11:03

Will the family ask where you are?

How does your partner feel?

HollowTalk · 20/10/2018 11:04

Have there been problems between you?

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Original poster
Rosiebelle · 20/10/2018 11:07

No problems between us at all, we only really see each other at family occasions.

My parter isn’t happy but feels like he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place as it’s his sister.

His family are on the same page as us, my MIL even offered to pay for us to attend if it was that they cannot afford to feed us!

OP posts:
NonaGrey · 20/10/2018 11:09

It’s very odd and a short route to destroying your DP’s relationship with his sister.

Has you MIL asked her daughter why you aren’t invited?

PerspicaciaTick · 20/10/2018 11:10

If I was your partner I would have to ask SIL why.

JennyOnAPlate · 20/10/2018 11:11

It's very odd.

Is it because she doesn't want children at the wedding?

PerspicaciaTick · 20/10/2018 11:11

And I'd be planning to pull out of the wedding myself if the rest of my family were excluded.

SimplyPut · 20/10/2018 11:15

Has she said why?

I wouldn't go if my Dp and kids were excluded.

Original poster
Rosiebelle · 20/10/2018 11:16

I’m not sure if MIL has asked why we’re not invited, my DP hasn’t asked either. We’ve only recently got the official invitation.

If it was the other way round and my DP and child wasn’t invited to my brothers wedding then I wouldn’t go either!

OP posts:
Original poster
Rosiebelle · 20/10/2018 11:16

Other children are invited so I don’t think it’s that! And even if it were then she knows all my family would offer to babysit!

OP posts:
southnownorth · 20/10/2018 11:18

It's bizarre and very rude.

My partner would not go I wasn't invited. Sister or not!

Hellywelly10 · 20/10/2018 11:19

Oh dear, is there a massive back story?

SayNoToCarrots · 20/10/2018 11:20

I can't understand why your DP hasn't asked his sister why you are not invited.

Original poster
Rosiebelle · 20/10/2018 11:21

No back story as far as I’m aware!

He will ask her, he tried phoning her last night - no answer. He’s at work now.

OP posts:
IggyAce · 20/10/2018 11:22

If I was your DP I would have to ask why and consider not attending. Incredibly rude of the bride and groom.
It’s very likely that other family members will ask where you are, if your dp does go I would if asked, tell them to ask the couple why you weren’t invited. No way would I make an excuse to save embarrassment.

CupMug · 20/10/2018 11:27

That sounds odd. Is there something else? Is your child ‘your’ child or yours and your husbands child? Not that that’s a reason.

Is there something else it might be? It’s too wierd otherwise.

CupMug · 20/10/2018 11:29

Sorry, I see you’ve already mentioned that it’s you and your DPs kid.

Other reasons?
Is everyone else a married couple?

Guiltypleasures001 · 20/10/2018 11:29

That's one way to make her feelings known, my parents would be having serious words with me if I did this sort of thing.

Unless it's some genuine gigantic mistake, then she's just divided an entire family out of the blue.

Snog · 20/10/2018 11:31

I think your dh needs to ask her why

Blatherskite · 20/10/2018 11:35

She doesn't like you obviously. I'd want to know why though.

Angrybird345 · 20/10/2018 11:36

That’s really bad. Your dp needs to find out why you’re not invited. What a cow!

TemptressofWaikiki · 20/10/2018 11:37

I would expect my DH to put us first and not attend if the DC and I were snubbed while other kids and DPs were invited.

PleaseJustSayNo · 20/10/2018 11:40

I certainly wouldn't be going if my OH and children weren't invited unless there was a very good reason

LonginesPrime · 20/10/2018 11:42

OP, is it just the two siblings? Or are the rest single or something? Perhaps this is the first time it's come up in the family and she hasn't thought it through?

Regardless of the reason, it's an issue for your DP to sort out. I would be taking a long, hard look at my relationship if my partner accepted that I wasn't welcome at a family wedding and it would make me question how he viewed our relationship, tbh. Not to mention the fact they must realise it's a huge snub and upsetting for you.