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Original poster

Not invited to SIL wedding

105 replies

Rosiebelle · 20/10/2018 10:16

AIBU is being disappointed not to be invited to my SIL wedding? My DP (of 5 years - we have a young child together) is part of the wedding party so is obviously invited but me me my DC aren’t invited at all.

The wedding is between Christmas and new year so we’re all off work, all other family members (and their children) are invited including her other brothers girlfriend of 4 months.

OP posts:
MortyVicar · 20/10/2018 14:30

Is she very possessive of your DP? Is she deliberately putting your DP in a position where he has to make a choice? And then if he goes to her wedding will she spend the rest of her life gloating that he chose her over you?

(Sorry, that was all questions.)

ivykaty44 · 20/10/2018 14:34

Why invite a girlfriend of 4 months and not your own niece?

There has to be a back story to this that OP is possibly unaware

Figgygal · 20/10/2018 14:39

That is soooo out of order it's untrue I hope your dp gets to the bottom of it

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Weddings
SenoritaViva · 20/10/2018 14:40

So rude and weird

BlueEyedPersephone · 20/10/2018 14:48

Must be a backstory .....come on be honest OP

Maelstrop · 20/10/2018 14:48

Massive snub. Other brother’s gf of 4 months is invited? DP needs to find out why, this is very odd.

Crunchymum · 20/10/2018 15:09

The OP never said that her MIL knows why they haven't been invited?

This is very odd and must be a mistake?

PeakTrans · 20/10/2018 16:58

I also find this bizarre!

MulticolourMophead · 20/10/2018 17:44

The OP never said that her MIL knows why they haven't been invited?

No, but do you seriously think she doesn't know why her own DD hasn't invited OP?

JennyWoodentop · 20/10/2018 17:56

I generally think the guest list is up to the couple but there is no coming back from this is there? Even if you get invited now, you know you weren't originally wanted.
From your OP - it's not about you not being married or the length of time you've been a couple, & it's not a no kids thing
You said it's between Christmas & New Year - I hope it's not too far away to travel that it messes up your holiday period if DP goes
Best case scenario is that it was a genuine mistake, otherwise I don't see relationships with this family recovering
DP is an adult & must make his choice, but I would struggle to think well of someone who would attend this wedding when there has been such a clear snub to me - I wouldn't go in his position & I would be cutting back on contact with family members who thought it was acceptable to treat my partner like that

HannahnotAgnes · 20/10/2018 19:04

That's terrible Op, sounds like a deliberate snub to me, sorry!

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 20/10/2018 19:06

This is simply appalling. My sister has a dreadful relationship with our brother's wife, but she's still invited sil to her dd's wedding.

TeaByTheSeaside · 20/10/2018 19:35

He should say he's not coming without you!

sola82 · 20/10/2018 19:46

Your DP cannot attend this wedding. If he does he is condoning his sister's appalling treatment of you and your DC. If you think he may attend regardless, then you have a bigger problem than your SIL.

comedycentral · 20/10/2018 19:50

There is no way that my husband would go without me. He simply wouldn't allow anyone to treat his wife and children like that. I feel for you OP.

greendale17 · 20/10/2018 19:54

This is beyond rude. She is very vindictive and this would ruin any future relationship I would have with her.

Doghorsechicken · 20/10/2018 19:54

Really really odd, is it a tiny wedding or something?

BackforGood · 20/10/2018 19:54

I can't help thinking there has to be a backstory you are forgetting to mention.
Particularly as you seem to know that your BiL's new GF has been invited.
Nor can I understand how your dp hasn't had chance to talk to his sister, when you are aware of the Gf being invited and are aware that the PiL have offered to pay for your place ??? Hmm

Jb291 · 20/10/2018 20:03

Oh that's a nasty thing to do to you OP. No Christmas gift or wedding gift for your SIL then.

llangennith · 20/10/2018 20:06

Your DP shouldn't even consider going to the wedding without you.

SummerGems · 20/10/2018 20:06

I don’t believe that you don’t know why you haven’t been invited. Especially given that nobody, not even the MIL has thought to question this of the SIL.

Come on it just wouldn’t happen that someone would invite the whole family bar one person - their brother’s partner of five years and that everyone would just accept this and not question it.

Clearly you’ve done something to upset the whole family or at the very least the SIL but the whole family know you were out of order hence why they’ve all just agreed to let it go. There is no other explanation.

MulticolourMophead · 20/10/2018 20:07

Nor can I understand how your dp hasn't had chance to talk to his sister, when you are aware of the Gf being invited and are aware that the PiL have offered to pay for your place ???

He will ask her, he tried phoning her last night - no answer. He’s at work now.

Seems the DP has tried, so hopefully they are sorting this out tonight.

Atalune · 20/10/2018 20:08

op

Did you find out? Hope there hasn’t been a big fall out. Maybe it’s a typo or oversight???

BackforGood · 20/10/2018 20:10

Yes, but they've also had conversations with the in-laws, about ways of getting round it, and they also know the GF is invited. Surely you'd have phoned when you opened the invitation , not had all these other conversations around the situation first, if it really were completely out the blue.

RedDrink · 20/10/2018 20:34

I was accidentally left off the couples wedding shower invite for ex-BIL. It could have been a mistake by a tired bride to be or someone helping her with invitations.