Not invited to SIL wedding

[Rosiebelle]

AIBU is being disappointed not to be invited to my SIL wedding? My DP (of 5 years - we have a young child together) is part of the wedding party so is obviously invited but me me my DC aren’t invited at all.

The wedding is between Christmas and new year so we’re all off work, all other family members (and their children) are invited including her other brothers girlfriend of 4 months.

Is it that only married guests can bring a partner? Sounds very weird!

Mental note to self to refuse all future babysitting requests if they have dc...

If a girlfriend of four months is invited I think this is very odd. I think your DP should ask directly why you have not been included.

Your children are another matter as they may not want children at the wedding.

Would you go without your children?

Is it a very small wedding. One of my dsis has a wedding with our mum, the groom ‘s parents and my nephew.

She hates fuss, and was dreading the process of the wedding, so that was her compromise.

Very strange behaviour, I would be annoyed if my OH even considered attending under these circumstances. His first loyalty is to you, not his sister.

Maybe this is a stupid question, but how do you know you are not invited? It's it's just from the invite, maybe there has been some mistake? It sounds bizarre.

What did the invite say?

YANBU but tbh I think the damage is already done whatever happens. I wouldn't go now either way..!

How bizarre, I can't understand why she wouldn't want her niece or nephew there either. I understand your dp feels stuck but I don't think he should go if his partner and child aren't invited for no real reason. Don't let it upset you op she doesn't sound like a very nice person.

Unless it's actually a mistake but that would be seriously careless

OP may the invite just says your DPs name but it's actually meant for the whole family unit? If not and there is no backstory she is a massive weirdo.

That's awful. Yes it's her special day and clearly she's doing what the fuck she wants, but she's harming family relationships that will resonate long into the future.

There must be a reason, because this is so rude and hurtful.

Doesn’t mean the reason is in any way valid - but she is making a very public statement by excluding you. Everyone at the wedding will be asking your other half where you are.

It is up to your oh to find out what is going on. Then you can decide your next steps as a family,

Did she specially exclude you ie dear brother only, but no partner.
How does other sibling know their very recent partner is invited , were they named on the invitation?
If that is the case I would expect my partner not to go.

Unless there's a huge, and I mean HUGE, backstory, then there is not rock and hard place for your partner. He has your back, end of. He declines the invite (and tells the rude cow why) politely.

Surely if your MIL has offered to pay she knows what reason the SIL is giving for failing to invite you?

Is there a top table that his mum, dad & him will be on & they thought that you'd rather not go than sit elsewhere?

Sounds like an absolute snub tbh.

Being part of the "wedding party" doesn't mean that he has to go!

My DH wouldn’t go in those circumstances.

SIL sounds totally unreasonable unless there is some huge backstory like you’ve started drunken brawls at other weddings, or had some huge falling out with her.

The thing is that even if you are invited at this point (after your DH speaks to his sister) you wouldn’t want to go as you know she doesn’t want you there. I’m gobsmacked as yo how your DH feels it appropriate for him to go in this circumstance.

If no siblings partners/kids were invited I would think it fine. Odd but fine. But the fact their other siblings girlfriend of 4 months is invited means she obviously hates you for some reason. Your DH should take a stand against such a blatant bitch even if it is his sister.

This is awful. How hurtful for you and your children. This means you and your children wont be part of their celebration and excluded from important photos. Seriously, who on earth does this? I would ask your husband to ring his sister to find out why. If she stands by her decision then I would tell hubby that he shouldn't go. As I wouldn't go to my sister's wedding if she snubbed my husband and children. It's rude beyond belief.

Your DP shouldn’t attend this one. It’s clear you and your kids are being deliberately snubbed.

YANBU at ALLLLLLLL. That's just hateful.

That's pretty odd. Couples should be considered as a unit when it comes to a wedding invitation.

Your DP isn't stuck between a rock and a hard place. This is an obvious and deliberate snub so her shouldn't go. She can't claim it's because it's child free because it clearly isn't and she can't claim married couples only because a GF of 4 months is invited.

DH wouldnt go without me.