Not invited to SIL wedding

[Rosiebelle]

AIBU is being disappointed not to be invited to my SIL wedding? My DP (of 5 years - we have a young child together) is part of the wedding party so is obviously invited but me me my DC aren’t invited at all.

The wedding is between Christmas and new year so we’re all off work, all other family members (and their children) are invited including her other brothers girlfriend of 4 months.

Nah that's weird. We didn't invite DH's brother's gf to our wedding (and they both massively took the hump at us) but that was because our wedding was tiny - our parents, DH's brothers and my best mate - and I'd not actually ever met her.

Must be a mistake surely?

The lack of invite makes no sense and as Volant says your mil knows why you haven’t been invited.

Surely it's a mistake. No back story, no explanation, no pre warning points to a mistake before anything else.

If it was my dbro that didn't in its my long term partner, I wouldn't feel stuck between anything. I would be asking why. He doesn't have to a dick about asking, surely she would be expecting to be questioned.

Your DP is not stuck between a rock and a hard place at all.
I’d be fucking fuming if my DH took this attitude tbh.
It’s simple.
If you, his partner of 5 years, and his child isn’t invited then he doesn’t go.
He needs to sort this out with his DB.

Disgusting. I could kind of perhaps understand why your dp would reluctantly feel obliged to attend with you not being invited. However Aunty x and uncle y are excluding their n&ns. Your dp should not allow any of you to be snubbed. How on earth will he explain this to the children?

That’s rude as fuck. Other siblings partners and D.C. are invited but you and yours aren’t? That’s awful.

Agree with PP. She needs to be confronted.

If I was your partner I would thank them for the invitation but turn it down - and tell them why.

It's bloody rude and dismissive.

The strange thing about it is unless you have form for getting outrageously pissed at social events and insulting people/ starting fights then surely anyone normal would invite you as the long term partner of their brother whether or not they liked you? The more I think about it the more bizarre it is tbh.

That is really awful behaviour. She sounds like a complete bitch. You should tell her as well. Her wedding my bloody arse.

Remember that episode of Friends when Monica isn't invited to her cousin's wedding and it's because she slept with the groom...

Not one of them is it?? 🙊😂

Only reasonable reason!

She sounds like a bitch and is trying to cause a family rift

Well it’s either a mistake/you’ve misunderstood the invitation or you’ve done something to annoy her.

That is bizarre behaviour. And very hurtful

Please don't tell me your DP is actually considering going? I agree with PP: he's not stuck between a rock and a hard place at all, there's no decision to make imo.

Your partner should decline the invite. SIL is probably trying to achieve that anyway.

That's very strange. Unless there's more back story then I think SIL is being very unreasonable. My DH wouldn't go if this happened.

Of course your DP doesn't go if you and your DC aren't invited. If he goes to the wedding without you, you'll end up being left out of more and more.

And your MIL knows why.

Has your DH spoken to his sister about it yet? That would be the first move!

If the sister is a bit of a straightforward person maybe she just thought "well, she'll need to look after the kid" and didn't think it would be a big deal. There are people like that.

But all the other family kids are invited.

Missed that.

Hmm. It doesn't sound good whatever it is but really your dh needs to talk to his sister, no?

Goodness, that’s awful, I wouldn’t want to go after that.

That's just awful! It definitely needs some sort of discussion and unpicking

If no backstory than your Dh should say no .

That's crazy