Phrases you can't stand for no apparent reason

[Thisnamechanger]

I know this comes up fairly often but I feel like we've not had one for a while...

My top ones at present:

Cutesy/cosy phrases used about adults e.g. (spotted on MN) "why were they in the garden at 2am anyway? Surely they'd be tucked up in bed and fast asleep."

Being 'helped to' re. food/drink. e.g. "she helped herself to the last of the champagne"

"tucking in" re. food.

Tabloid favourite here "tipping the scale at".

What makes your brain itch?

Yourself / myself
I wonder if people do it to try & appear well educated & intelligent. It does not work

I also cringe at the use of ‘killing it’ to compliment a performance. If you say someone’s ‘killing’ a song, it sounds like you’re saying they’re making a really dire job of it.

Life hacks!!!

It is what it is

Just indicates someone cba to do something about an issue (in a lot of cases)

I was about to cook a lot of chicken that I'd prepared earlier. Yes, that's right, batch cook spatch cock.

Price point. It's simply the price.

"full fat coke"

Hubby, hubster, hub, Hun, outlaws instead of in-laws. All make me want to rip my ears off

"Reader, I married him" is a quote from Jane Eyre but it is never written as a quote.

suck it and see dh says this. If we ever divorce that will be on the list of reasons why.
Other offending phrases are courtesy of dh's parents such as
Let's have a little dance to each other's tune shall we?/Put on a record and see who dances.
You don't keep dogs and bark yourself.
Not my circus. Not my monkeys.
Did I ask you to boil the ocean?

'Must have'. Absolutely hate it.

For some reason 'with all the trimmings' really annoys me. 'Roast beef with all the trimmings...' Ugh.

I hate 'long story short'. I don't mind the original phrase in its full form, 'to cut a long story short', but I loathe it being reduced to something that makes no sense.

I was wondering today when people in this country started using 'back in the day'. It's certainly only become current in the last 20 years or so.

I reserve a particular dislike for "There are no words" because of course there are, or there could be, or you could make an attempt to find them; it's just such a glib platitude.

'Bits and bats' as used a lot by Sarah Ingham!!

'The presso' for presentation, as in at work. 'Dan is just adding to the presso for tomorrow's meeting'. Ack.

People saying "and I was like/and I'm like..." when describing what they thought about a situation - hard to explain in a post but just watch any young American (or British!) youtube and this is how they talk.

Beaker.fucking beaker

“About yay high” no! About THIS high!

Wow. Just wow.
Dystopian nightmare

"All fine" In the middle of some trolly long winded OP

So so many, a lot already mentioned....

Date night
Play date
Ducks in a row
No fucks given
Cluster fuck
#blessed
Hun
Hubby/hubster/hubs
Nom nom nom
Famalam
This one (as in written under a photo on social media)
Agenda
Narrative
Holibobs
Much needed (glass of wine etc.)
On point
On fleek
Bro's before hoes
Wifey
Wow. Just wow (I can feel my blood boiling just writing it)
Fuck off to the far side of fuck
Babelicious
Hot mama

My little family.
Nice hot bath.
Count me in/out.

The below said regularly by my now nc DSis,
"Take care"
"To be honest with you"

Surely the only response is "fuck off"

Ooooh good thread ..
Crashing out.
Heads up.
IMHO no its not you, think you are right.
So. Don’t start a sentence with so. So bloody annoying !
Like i was literally ....
Padding softly any woman padding anywhere, not shes not a cat

I hate 'Spark out' or 'Sparko' as in, "Aw, she was sparko when we pulled up".

And 'shop the edit' on/in adverts. WTF does that even mean?

I also can't stand 'cooked from scratch'. You're just cooking.

DS1 says, "I'll be honest with you..." at the beginning of most sentences, it drives me mad.

'Curate' as in 'I curated my autumn wardrobe'. No you didn't, you bought some clothes. Now fuck off.

'Making memories' makes me cringe. It's an awful, twee phrase that needs to go out of fashion quickly.

'Bae'. What?