Phrases you can't stand for no apparent reason

[Thisnamechanger]

I know this comes up fairly often but I feel like we've not had one for a while...

My top ones at present:

Cutesy/cosy phrases used about adults e.g. (spotted on MN) "why were they in the garden at 2am anyway? Surely they'd be tucked up in bed and fast asleep."

Being 'helped to' re. food/drink. e.g. "she helped herself to the last of the champagne"

"tucking in" re. food.

Tabloid favourite here "tipping the scale at".

What makes your brain itch?

People selling things who say ‘needs gone’ 😡

“For me” - as in “Can you put your PIN number in for me?” “Can you sign this for me?” Aaaaaargh.

“Back in the day”. FUCK OFF. Usually used in reference to something 5 years ago. Makes me want to pull my ears off.

"I'm dying."

Better ring the undertaker.

Kicking off.
All the trimmings.

Argh I hate the ‘aks’ instead of ‘ask’ thing too. ALso ...

‘I wanted to ask yourself ...’
‘If you could give it to myself’
NO!! It’s ‘you’ and ‘me’

‘Boobing’ the baby
Doing a ‘recce’
‘Eyeballing’ someone
Poorly
Sicked (as in ‘sicked it up’ - surely that’s not a word?!)
Scrummy
Clot

Nom nom
Judgey pants
I don't drive (you mean you can't drive).

It's a popular one, but I can't stand "Not my circus, not my monkeys". I just picture a sort of overblown smugness about extricating oneself from some really trivial school-gate or MIL-related situation.

Describing something as ‘reaching a crescendo’. Crescendo means gradually getting louder and that’s not something you can reach!

I’ve never heard ‘crotchfruit’ before, that’s grim.

Cheeky nandos

‘Are you me?’ really irritates me, myself and I.

Haha what's wrong with batch cook?

@Davespecifico I say I don't drive but I can drive, I just don't like it so I choose not to.

CROTCHFRUIT!!! Hahaha I'm literally dying etc

Have to agree with No? At the end of a sentence it drives me nuts! What is the point in it??

We are pregnant, no your not just one of you is

One from my dh - think logically - drives me mad as it is no help at all yet he says it with such gravitas as though he is bestowing such wisdom to the world.

Oh yes! No at the end of a sentence is hideous. It's patronising, smug, pretensious all wrapped up in one little word. I don't know anyone who does that luckily.

"Shut the front door" as an expression of disbelief.

However I am guilty of bear with me and singing from the same hymn sheet

A new one I have noticed "I was today years old when I discovered some dull fact I didn't know!"

Davespecifico Oh yes! No at the end of a sentence is hideous. It's patronising, smug, pretensious all wrapped up in one little word. I don't know anyone who does that luckily.

(and pp)

What about the godawful "End of."? As if their opinion is the only possible one and They Have Now Spoken.

'suck it and see'

Get to fuck. Arghhhhh

And there for the grace of God go I. If that's how it goes. Arghhhhhhhhhhh

I’m really hating on ‘hating on’.