Phrases you can't stand for no apparent reason

[Thisnamechanger]

I know this comes up fairly often but I feel like we've not had one for a while...

My top ones at present:

Cutesy/cosy phrases used about adults e.g. (spotted on MN) "why were they in the garden at 2am anyway? Surely they'd be tucked up in bed and fast asleep."

Being 'helped to' re. food/drink. e.g. "she helped herself to the last of the champagne"

"tucking in" re. food.

Tabloid favourite here "tipping the scale at".

What makes your brain itch?

Boils my piss, a phrase that turns up here often, is pretty grim. Not so much phrases, but people using words like 'acquire' and 'purchase' when 'buy' will do perfectly well, or talking about properties 'achieving' a price is pretty awful too. So sort of mincingly faux posh.

And anything that involves 'myself' instead of the perfectly correct 'me'.

The PP talking about "tit" has reminded me that I cannot abide the word "boob" either as a verb or a noun. Horrid word!

Looker,, as in,she's a looker.
Babe.. Adult female.
Momma.
Bubba.. not sure what this means,,but I know a 50 year old woman who calls her 25 year old daughter as such.

When people say I borrowed him a pen or whatever...

Cannot be doing with
Sat there (rather than sitting there)
Tell him/her to do one
Get to fuck

All phrases I've only read on here, I've never come across in any of them in real life. Possibly a UK thing (I'm in Australia).

Can't stand "other half" or "hubby / hubs" etc

Silly food hashtags like #GetInMyBelly. Argh!

Nom nom, chillax, and holibobs/vaycay .

"I turned round and said xxx", then he "turned round and said zzz" I have a friend who says this. Every discussion must make him so dizzy.

Pension Pot

Touch base
Benchmark
Blue sky thinking
Thinking outside the box
Hun
Babes
Making memories
Living the dream

Mama - used way too much on Instagram. What's wrong with Mum?? Or does everything have to be cute?

No clue - DS's favourite saying because he knows I hate it.

Living your best life

I'm with this one or had a great day with this one!

Two written phrases that make me want to poke the referrer in the eye. (Not that I would do it, of course)

“Your goodself”. Please just write “you”

“I would be grateful for your cleverest diagnosis”

1. This person doesn’t need me to be a smartarse, they need the correct diagnosis and management plan.
2. If by “cleverest” you mean ‘best’, surely I should be trying my best for ALL patients, not just this person?

adulting

@didofido that made me laugh. I always think the same thing about people who “turn around” before saying anything.

@someoneseatenmyapple I’m with you regarding “mama” and “this one” and can’t work out why people have started using them all of a sudden online when no one says it in real life.

This thread is very cathartic.

Adding "though"

This one though

Those eyes though

It doesn't make any sense

cray

Hubby

Bom

Sorry!

Meant VOM. 🤮

Close of play by wanker managers in emails

Hate the words "hubby" and "wifey". I have no idea why but I cringe every time they come up on my social media, especially when the couple are not even married

I also hate the word "romp" on tabloid front pages. Urgh

The yourself/myself thing makes me want to scream, especially when I see it in work communications. In fact when I’m working at home and see it I do quite often swear at the screen.

I also hate management speak (blue sky thinking, idea shower, slow sprint- wtf and I was recently invited to participate in “analysing the honeycomb” and no I don’t work as a bee keeper) although I do enjoy coming up with new ones and seeing if I can get the worst offenders to incorporate them into their vocabularies!

Food baby - yuck yuck yuck.

No problem - Assistant: Do you need a bag? Me: No, I've got one, thanks. Assistant: No problem.

I KNOW IT ISN'T A FUCKING PROBLEM!

Anyone (who isn't in Neighbours) who does the rising inflection- thing? At the end of every sentence? When it isn't even a question?

Especially if they're over 40.

The rising inflection is awful awful awful.

Thought of another:

"I got with him" instead of "I got together with him". I don't know why I hate this so much, it just sounds horrible.