Phrases you can't stand for no apparent reason

[Thisnamechanger]

I know this comes up fairly often but I feel like we've not had one for a while...

My top ones at present:

Cutesy/cosy phrases used about adults e.g. (spotted on MN) "why were they in the garden at 2am anyway? Surely they'd be tucked up in bed and fast asleep."

Being 'helped to' re. food/drink. e.g. "she helped herself to the last of the champagne"

"tucking in" re. food.

Tabloid favourite here "tipping the scale at".

What makes your brain itch?

‘lol’ on here. Trust me nothing you are saying is funny.

My bad

In the dailymail describing an outfit when she "teamed" a pair of trousers with her shoes. Teamed. Yuck!

Honed. Gym honed stomach, model honed thighs

Using the word "Beau" for partner.

Masterchef - " A fantastic Plate of Food"

Random words I hate:-

100%
Pop. Popping out, pop this in the post, pop it in your bag. Popping up. Argghh.

For some reason I hate the word " Veg" I used to live down under where they use the word "veggies" which is much nicer.

"You know?" at the end of a sentence. A) of course I know, what you just said was so obvious a fucking amoeba would know or B) no I don't know, that is your area of expertise or I would not be consulting you. Used to have a GP who did this at the end of almost every sentence and I always thought "how the fuck would I know, I haven't been to medical school".

Drinkypoos. "D" H started using it a while ago and it fills me with rage.
Most commonly used thusly, "right, I'm going for a piss, then a quick drinkypoos and I'm off". WTF, how can he be so coarse and so bloody twee in the same sentence. There's a twinkle in his eye when he says it lately that indicates that he thinks he's being playfully annoying when he says it. He doesn't seem to realise how close he is coming to getting throttled.

Another one

Although this is very American (and will no doubt make its way over here soon) it's rife on all the reality crap TV I love to watch.

When ordering something.. Instead of "im going to have a chopped salad" they say "Im going to do a chopped salad"

DO?

Fri-yay
Wine-o'clock / any alcohol-o'clock
Or when people say 'da' instead of 'the' or 'dat' instead of 'that'

@boble1 hun?! 

Boils my blood @boble1

A red lip.
A smokey eye.
A pop of colour.
And all those other wanky phrases used to describe fashion.
And my bad,can I get, I turned round and said, he was like.

Wine-o'clock / any alcohol-o'clock
Yes yes yes.
Any silly twee alcohol slogans/phrases.

Another Daily Mail one - flaunted/displayed/showcased her ‘enviable’ curves/post baby body/new swelte shape about any woman wearing running gear/swimsuit/evening dress

A piece to describe an item of clothing, really wanky to call a raincoat a piece .... a piece of what cake maybe

'The husband' , 'the toddler', 'the daughter'. As if yours is the only one.

Bored 'of'. It's bored 'with'.

Despise instead of detest for 'dislike very much'. They don't mean the same thing. Despise means look down on, beyond the pale. You can't despise broccoli.

'Not being funny but....' when about to say something critical.

'Enough with the' Yiddish New Yorkisms acquired from US sit-coms..

Cutesy abbreviations for food. Roasties, Yorkies, veggies, nibbles, biccies.

'My bad' absolutely cannot stand it

“It is what it is”

Team leader used it repeatedly when another staff member was bullying myself and a colleague, and we asked for help over and over again.

Yes kieran, I so agree. Every woman is assumed to be showcasing and flaunting in the DM, when actually they are walking down the street with the shopping wishing the cameras would fuck off. Not every woman is an attention seeker. It makes me SO angry.

Good idea double, although he'd almost certainly forget to look at it. He'll be auditioning in jeans & t-shirt, it's all we have.

Going forward

Proactive

So pleased to see that I am not the only one who HATES the use of yourself/myself instead of you/ me.

I don't live in the UK and it is not a thing here. Only seems to come out of the mouths of British ex-pats. Wanky and wrong.

"Smellies" used to describe cologne or scent. Yuk.

Using "text" is the past tense.

Someone texted the other day, "How's it diddling?" Diddling?! I didn't reply....

Do one.

Horrible to hear.

Oh, and the words "common" or "chavvy". Horrible.

...teamed with a red lip...

It makes the eyes pop.

Also hate the misuse of yourself and myself.

Probably been said but the whole thread was a catalogue of nasty.
Mine are :
^ this
Or
Blessed

Just no

Any hoo
My bad